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[Trapezohedron]

The gig is collapsed. People are more concerned panicking than paying attention to your music. You take offense. You shout, "DANCE FOR ME, YOU IMBECILES! I DESIRE RHYTHM AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU WILL BEND TO ME!"

The crowd goes from confusion to irritation. "You don't understand! Your bass is too damn loud, the rafters fell apart and people are injured!"

You ignore their pitiful statement and play a heavy grungestep version of Teleportation. The show must go on, and they must dance.

A small group of angry people call the bouncers and the nearby security to force you to stop, as your efforts are offending the memory of the dead.

They climb up the stage, but you attack, synced to the beat. You bite the flesh off the bouncer, who keels over seeing his arm wound bleeding like a fountain. Whoops. You kick the rest off. "This is insane!"

You reply with a confident smile. "Not until you see this."


You are but a fledgling Rhythmancer. But that's only when you're compared to Rhythmancer giants like El Passo or Octavian or a myriad others who have ascended their chain-worlds and brought terror and/or hope to their assigned charges.

The air becomes thin. The world distorts. The collapsed scaffolding levitates, and the world phases.

The whole warehouse gig is in space. You then rhyme some sick burns and mad skillz beatz to the tune of dubstep and Vogon Poetry.

It has become very obvious that you are not simply who you seem to be: a DJ.

Your audience is aghast. What do you do?

[~Neri]

Dance on the moon? Dance on the moon.

[Cheesecake]

Beatbox them to death.

[NJW2000]

Dance on the moon. Stop the music for long enough for explosive decompression to be seconds away, then start it again. Beatbox someone to death.

[Trapezohedron]

Using the powers of BASS, you crash the entire gig into the moon, creating a glorious crater. You were also kind enough to ensure the entire place and its inhabitants were never harmed in any form whatsoever, except maybe from a slight asphyxiation due to the sudden lack of oxygen.

You raise the dead to dance. On the moon. Oh yes, it is time. Still-living people are crying their eyes out, somehow being able to breathe due to the speakers also generating massive amounts of oxygen (enough that the front stage has a miniscule atmosphere, to be dissipated in 3 seconds or so per beat.)

Oh, and all of the instruments and sound systems are simply working due to your willpower alone. Without your awesome energy, surely everything would fizz out.

There are cracks in the structure, leading to space where the earth is visible. On the far side of what was the warehouse, there are hundreds of asphyxiated corpses. Oxygen can only get so far. You use this opportunity to get loyal Martial Trancers and Beat Ravers, servants of the haunted song who bend to your will. Your audience will not escape. Not even to breathe moon dust.

You force them to dance, slowing down the music if they refuse to. This goes on for hours. They are dead tired and crying and suicidal, but when they do try to kill themselves, you beat them to a pulp. This goes on and on until the mob decides to gang up on you instead.

They try. And they get stuck on trying. Your voice is like thunder; it echoes, and every drum kick and snare you imitate with your vocal cords, they reverberate and render people into red salsa.

But you can't keep doing that; your audience is dwindling. And not going back to Earth will kill your gig soon.


A torso-sized $83m piece of furniture hurls from the ends of space, only to crash land into the club, piercing approximately 72 people with its shards and promptly lodging themselves there. They're glowing.

What do you do?

[NJW2000]

Teleport back to Earth some other inhabitable planet and start playing this song. It's drum and base/ambient, so we should be alright.

Ok, but use the ambient vibrations to repair the thingy, preferably using the "base" to get all the people its lodged in inside it. Also, mix it with our transport.

If clever track mixing won't force siz dozen corpses into a legendary Ming Dynasty vase, then David Bowie's voice will.

[NJW2000]

Can I bump this?

*Hops excitedly from foot to foot, never having bumped a thread before*

[The Froggy Ninja]

Teleport back to Earth some other inhabitable planet and start playing this song. It's drum and base/ambient, so we should be alright.

Ok, but use the ambient vibrations to repair the thingy, preferably using the "base" to get all the people its lodged in inside it. Also, mix it with our transport.

If clever track mixing won't force siz dozen corpses into a legendary Ming Dynasty vase, then David Bowie's voice will.

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