Maybe how you think about comparisons influence how you interact [Comparing yourself to a '13 year old native speaker' doesn't help...unless you use that comparison to nudge you forward into a critical and heuristic analysis of
how you think and act and then move forward).
I'll drop a quote
Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them. (In this context, poking at how one faces those problems)
Motivation advances along with perception [of thought]--when one is truly motivated, their thinking supports their passion of achieving their goals.
But there seems to be another hint:
I worked towards either of them for some time, though eventually found my spunk gone out and gave up or some urgent things prevented me from continuing it.
You seem to be talking about these things like they're concrete achievements instead of abstracted and thought-based achievements (that's how it came off to me anyway). Like a math major instead of 'someone who can do math well without pen&paper or a calculator'? :O
I’m working hard but still making silly mistakes that apparently would have never been made by a 13-aged native speaker. I guess I’m just uncapable of doing anything well. What would you suggest?
I've been speaking English for all my life, and I still mess up every day. It's a weird language.
I don't.
Though it's my third-language [second, but I got Tagalog, Ilocano {dialect} and then English...with little mastery in the dialect but I'm being technical -.-]. However when I've noticed errors in other people--it's usually in
how they use the language (as in those itty-bitty tiny bits,
as derived from how they use their native/first language as in following the same 'lingual rules')
I feel like you should just keep going on. Don't let yourself fall to base or shallow comparisons [if you would think about comparing yourself, do it humorously or philosophically--think about the other side when you do so
].
You've got a goal--set it and reach it. Being more purposeful is also in how you think about yourself/your goals.
It's like investing in yourself!
And when I say 'comparisons', I also mean the common idea of 'This is bloody frickin' hard :I'. Those seem to be comparisons too.
But Hard/Easy come off more like...difficulty levels. Take it as an analogy, or in the least literal sense, a
guide on how much effort one has to
generally expend. Reminds me of a scenario in philosophy: "How do you get to the other side of a hard brick wall."
> Climb it, using its hardness to support you. [Analogy of insight; taking strength from your trials]
> Go around it--the wall doesn't stretch forever [Analogy of multiple perspectives; you see the wall first but you look around]
[etc...There're also fun solutions of asking
what definitely is 'hard' in this 'brick' "wall", but that's the silly part of approaching it
]
And a lot of other stuffs :< I only have what you've got in the OP to work on. But there are a
lot of ways to be and become more purposeful.
It won't help you if you demean yourself or set your own level to the degree of common expectations
and then demean yourself if you fail. Everyone is running this race of life wherein they themselves matter, but they run
alongside everyone else instead of competing
against everyone else.
I suggest checking how you think about what may be your problems or difficulties.
It helped me a lot because I discovered that how I approached them before is mostly different from how I answered them and reached my goals--many of the differences, however, were subtle changes in my approach. [Ie "Learn English?" "You speak Tagalog first!" :I Well I learn the rules and copy from novels and read how others do it! Textbooks helped! But practice {live
fire drills field testing} helps too!]
Subtle changes as in...a lot of influencing factors. But how
I thought was one of the primary influences.
A positive attitude also helps here.
And by positive attitude--it is one that already expects failure, but also sees a lot of ways on how to get moving with it
despite being with and experiencing it.
PS: The language examples are direct translations
So the silliness is in the grammar.
E: I use a ton of smilies. ...Please excuse the moderate use of yellow faces here.