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[KickAssAndGiggle]

Story Fort: Bloodthirsty Toons In Combatboulders

Hi, long time lurker, first time poster. Inspired by Boatmurdered, Spearbreakers and Gemclod, I've decided to make a story fort. Because I play fast, I'm not going to go down the community route (lack of patience on my part), but I will try my best to document the entire history in the vein of those previously mentioned epics.


Goals:

- Embark somewhere with plenty of action (but not haunted/terrifying, don't want undead right off the bat)

- Declare war on all non-dwarf civilisations within 2 - 3 years. Kill/Sieze/Capture everything that comes our way, except fellow dwarves

- Kill 500 elves, humans and goblins. (I may accept different proportions, provided 1,500 enemies total have snuffed it). This is ambitious (I feel)

- Related to the above...survive. No limits on how (but see "Restrictions" below)

- Once 1,500 normal enemies are slain, conquer hell

- Uniquely name every dwarf that comes our way after a cartoon character of at least "some" renown (we'll stick to famous ones to begin with)


Restrictions:

- No quantum stockpiles, or anything else I personally consider "gamey". No issue with other's having their own opinions, of course, but here we play by certain rules

- Due to above, world is small, embark site is just 3x3 (to help avoid FPS death)


Welcome to Combatboulders!

(Requests for your favourite cartoon characters to appear as migrants accepted. Note: first 100 or so must be "well known" though)


Embark:



Neighbours: Dwarves, Humans, Elves, Goblins, Tower


Starting 7 Dwarves:

Minnie Mouse (Expedition Leader)


Bugs Bunny (Brewer/Cook)


Homer Simpson (Stonecrafter)


Yosemite Sam (Mason)


Lisa Simpson (Woodcutter/Carpenter)


Cinderella (Miner)


Johnny Bravo (Miner)

[than402]

Neat. I want Scrooge Mc Duck, and make him a broker if you can

[KickAssAndGiggle]

Diary of Minnie Mouse

15th Granite

The Tombs Of Visions, brave and strong,
Humans, greenskins, elves are wrong.
The Tombs Of Visions, brave and strong,
Humans, greenskins, elves are wrong.

In case someone finds this, I want it on the record that I consider this chant to be utter crap, but Johnny Bravo came up with it on day 3 of the trip east and sang it basically non-stop for 12 days. If he wasn't a skilled miner, I'd have ripped his stupid quiff off.

I often wonder whether it is truly possible to be anything other than inexperienced when it comes to leading fortress expeditions. Who leaves to create a fortress, succeeds, then returns back to the Mountain Home to lead an expedition to form a second? If the answer isn't "nobody", then I've never met them at least.

I at least respect our Queen for having the courage to put a female dwarf in charge. Of course, other female's have led expeditions in the past, but not to a location expected to be so..."busy" as Combatboulders.

My orders are explicit:


From the desk of Queen Pocahontas,

The dwarf Minnie Mouse is hereby ordered to create the fortress Combatboulders, in The Sable Forests.

To that end, 6 (six) further dwarves will be assigned, to be known collectively as The Staff Of Rain.

The fortress is to be the mightiest construction for a hundred miles in all directions, capable of withstanding attack from any foe.

The Staff Of Rain are instructed to uphold the traditions of The Tombs Of Visions, specifically, that all non-dwarves are to be treated as enemies. If trade with non-dwarven civilisations is essential in your early years, trade with humans only. But do not hesitate to crush them when you are fully established.

All elves and goblins are to be pursued and slaughtered. You may show some discretion with humans, but in the end, there can only be dwarves.

Your expedition leaves on the 1st Granite, in the year 125.

May Armok himself ensure your success.


And so, I left my husband Mickey (who promised to come out when we were established) and got into a wagon with 6 disparate characters with varying skills, to create the greatest fortress in dwarven history. Or die trying.

First things first: mapping out the entrance.


16th Granite

I order Johnny Bravo and Cinderella to begin channeling out a ramp into the earth, and get Lisa Simpson to chop down the trees around our wagon:



I ask Bugs to scout the area. He reported a rattlesnake, a horse and a water buffalo. And us. Good. The elves and greenskins can't have spotted us on the journey.


22nd Granite

Johnny Bravo and Cinderella have channeled down 4 levels, leaving ramps so we can get back up (and wide enough for trade caravans). I layout some rooms for them to dig, including a grand welcome hall I intend to call the Hall Of Heroes. My vision is for this room to be both dining table and crypt for all non-nobles who die in battle. It will be the grandest room in all dwarvendom!



This expedition leader lark is easier than I thought. I reward my obvious competence with half-a-barrel of dwarven rum.

[KickAssAndGiggle]

Minnie Mouse's Diary

1st Slate 125

I decided to make Yosemite Sam into an architect, because as none of us had a clue, it hardly mattered who I chose. He accepted with reasonable grace. I marked out a trade depot area near the entrance ramp, and told him to design it out of chert.


5th Slate

So far, we've found a decent selection of stone to use, including gold! A good start.




12th Slate

Yosemite Sam tells me the depot is finished. It looks pretty good for an amateur effort.


16th Slate

As work goes slowly with the digging (and that's no criticism, its a lot of work for our two miners), I decide to begin work on the surface wall. We have found plenty of chert, which is relatively strong and magma-proof, so I make the executive decision to use it. I order Lisa Simpson to continue clearing the trees from the area: we don't want an easy access route over the top.


19th Slate

Bloody rain. I hate it. HATE it. The fact that elves live outside despite of the rain is conclusive proof that they need wiping out.


20th Slate

We found both white and green jade today. That cheers me up somewhat, though I'm still soaked.


21st Slate

Rain stopped. Praise Arnok. And we've started making progress with the wall.




27th Slate

Bugs Bunny did another sweep of the area today. He said he can no longer see the rattlesnake, but there are seven wild boars in the area. I hope its a case of "we won't bother them and they won't bother us".


1st Felsite

Homer Simpson came to me today, whining about not having a stone crafting workshop yet. I told him it was way down the priority list, and for the time being his main job would be hauling. He muttered something that sounded like "Doh!". I ignored it.


10th Felsite

Progress is still quite slow, and its started raining again. My mood is dour.


19th Felsite

We found some alabaster and chrysoprase, but that doesn't disguise the fact that I am still grumpy about our slow progress. Cinderella suggests that the problem is with my elaborate design. I snapped at her, which I regret because I get on well with her generally. It's because I'm wet. I need a drink!


1st Hematite

Here is a diagram of the progress we've made so far:




16th Hematite

The area I earmarked as the first food/booze stockpile is finished, so I designate it as such and get the non-miners to start hauling our supplies in. Only took us three months...


20th Hematite

Migrants! Excellent, fresh new dwarven hands to assist us in our labours!


Betty Boop




Maggie Simpson (child)




Snow White




Marge Simpson




Scrooge McDuck




Edna Krabappel




Ned Flanders




21st Hematite

Oh...Armok's beard. We've run into clay. In the main hall layout. How we can smooth clay??? Some clever planning is needed here. But we've done too much to start-over on a lower level (at least, I deem it so), and therefore we push on. I drink a full barrel of dwarven ale today.




(OOC: There was no male candidate for Scrooge McDuck who remotely fitted the description of broker, so I'm afraid his primary skill is Fisherdwarf right now. As we have no river and few pools, I will reskill him, maybe as a Jeweler.)

[seaturtlehorsesnake]

this is an interesting idea, at least!

would you be willing to add a dwarf named after krazy kat? krazy was most well known as a comic, obviously, but there was also a cartoon. and it's krazy kat!