Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

Author Topic: Drug addiction.  (Read 1886 times)

That Wolf

  • Bay Watcher
  • Yes, that Wolf
    • View Profile
Drug addiction.
« on: February 20, 2015, 07:15:44 am »

I plan on getting this deleted if it doesnt help.
But right now I need help.

On new years I went to a party with a few mates, getting bored of the social mess it was I drunkenly stumbled to my mates place and we drunk beer listening to some sweet jams in red light.
I did an irish goodbye (just left without sayn anything) at the party ditching my other mate.
Well he came back really late and insisted on drinking spirits with him, we plainly said no laughing at his drunken state.
He drove off somewhere and came back at 5am and went to sleep. He came out a few hours later saying he hadnt slept and where he went he had being smoking meth (or crack). It was his first time I told him to never do it again and I was fucking disapointed, after that incident we had had an unrelated falling out. I plainly said I didnt want to be friends and he was bringing me down.
So I get called today by him asking me to sort our shit out and to hang out with him again and that "I need to talk to somebody" and I was the only one he could talk to about anything (yeah im that guy) the conversation led to him confessing he had been doing crack again, the conversation ended with him thinking that I dont support him and saying "whatever be that way" then he hung up.
Its obviously a call for help.
I just dont know if I should help him directly.
He has a ex and daughter that he doesnt consider and Ive been thinking of telling her so he might get his shit together.
Can I get some help.
Am I doing anything wrong, I dont want to see him fuck it up.
Im also considering doing nothing at all.
Help Wolfy
« Last Edit: February 20, 2015, 07:51:45 am by That Wolf »
Logged
I am not afraid of an army of Warriors led by a Child; I am afraid of an army of Children led by a Warrior.

Eagleon

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
    • Soundcloud
Re: Drug addiction.
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2015, 12:10:27 pm »

My brother is an alcoholic bipolar chain-smoker, off his meds because of a dependence on the booze for sleep and a conflict there with the mood stabilizers. He has a daughter and a wife. It's a long process. Addiction is fucking terrible, it sneaks up on you and makes little problems like missing a pill or an appointment so much psychologically worse by circumstance.

First step is that he has to recognize it's going to hurt his kid if he keeps going - even if he doesn't think he's going to keep going. Obviously he will, but the first bit is more important. If you haven't, talk to him about his daughter. This is about him. Just lay your concerns out on the table. If that doesn't work, try to rally support with his ex or any nearby relatives, but for the love of dogs don't break up his family. A good start is not insinuating that this will break up his family, to him or his ex. That can and will destroy people, and it's completely unnecessary - he does not have to hit rock-bottom to break out of this, that's a romantic tragedy that I wish I could gut Hollywood for popularizing.

Something a lot of addicts, and drug users in general, do not understand at the time of their abuse is that help is available to them. Not resistance. Help. Even going to the police, walking into the police station and asking for help for your drug problem, in most jurisdictions you are likely to be given a number to call for anonymous support rather than thrown against a car door and handcuffed. This is because almost every police officer has an understanding of why these specific drugs are a problem, and rather than going footsoldier against every last addict subjected to meth wheedlers, they're much more concerned with the dealers. YMMV - I'd suggest the support groups first, because there are some seriously bad cops.

So, knowing that, there's no reason not to get support. Making it clear that there's no judgement involved, that he has the problem with meth/crack (was under impression that crack = cocaine, not sure if this is a difference in local vernacular) and not you, will help tremendously. He's probably insecure because he knows there's a problem, and is looking to shift blame on you for 'not supporting him' - a cry for help indeed, but with a shield up. A neutral third party will be easiest for him to cope with to start out.

Of course, convincing him that help is available is where the challenge is. Not knowing him, I have no idea how to do this. My only suggestion is to make sure to listen. Good luck!
~Internet advice

Edit: I realized I gave you no practical resources, which is a perpetual problem for this kind of situation http://www.recovery.org/ this is a good place to start. If you don't find anything there that seems like a good fit, I would personally talk to local rehab clinics yourself about the situation, ask them if they have initial support services that they recommend or work closely with, and go from there. Make sure you don't make the same mistake I did, and give your friend the contacts you make so that if necessary he can pursue them by himself.
« Last Edit: February 20, 2015, 01:34:42 pm by Eagleon »
Logged
Agora: open-source, next-gen online discussions with formal outcomes!
Music, Ballpoint
Support 100% Emigration, Everyone Walking Around Confused Forever 2044

TempAcc

  • Bay Watcher
  • [CASTE:SATAN]
    • View Profile
Re: Drug addiction.
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2015, 01:51:16 pm »

Pretty much what Eagleon said. The hardest part is convincing the addict that, not only there is help avaliable, but that he also NEEDs help. Addiction is the point where a person has no choice on wheter or not he will take X substance, under whatever circunstance, and from the info you gave us, he's past that point. You have to convince him that help exists, that he shouldn't be ashamed of needing help from others, and that he does REALLY NEED help if he's to get out of the addiction loop, and that helps needs to come AS SOON AS POSSIBLE before his body is becomes too dependant on those substances. Yes, there is a point of no return with drug addiction, if you dont pull people out of it soon enough, they'll never be 100% free of it, and that point varies with each drug.

IRCC, Toady himself had an experience with meth during college, though it didn't get to the point of addiction and he managed to pull himself out of it.
Logged
On normal internet forums, threads devolve from content into trolling. On Bay12, it's the other way around.
There is no God but TempAcc, and He is His own Prophet.

Eagleon

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
    • Soundcloud
Re: Drug addiction.
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2015, 02:01:56 pm »

For what it's worth, my experience with my brother is that he knew that he needed help. It's a very obvious thing, which is why it's so soul-crushing. Your dependency on a substance translates into personal failure, when that substance makes whatever negative impact on your life. It wasn't even a matter of getting him to admit it, to himself or others. It was the concrete addition of a business card to his coat pocket that got him into that therapist. It was getting rides to his appointments when he didn't have a car, and knowing that he could count on the people close to him for support. He's getting better, there's still the recovery from the loss of his job, the tension between us and our parents, etc. etc. but it's going.
« Last Edit: February 20, 2015, 02:06:36 pm by Eagleon »
Logged
Agora: open-source, next-gen online discussions with formal outcomes!
Music, Ballpoint
Support 100% Emigration, Everyone Walking Around Confused Forever 2044

Helgoland

  • Bay Watcher
  • No man is an island.
    • View Profile
Re: Drug addiction.
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2015, 07:54:25 pm »

It's like that for some drugs - alcohol and benzodiazepines, mostly - but for others - especially opiates - going cold turkey is an accepted and widely used method.

Crack - well, cocaine, because that's what crack is - doesn't produce a physical dependence though. The psychological dependence it generates is plenty though, and getting rid of it on your own is practically impossible as far as I know.

Wolf, what I'd suggest for you is:
- Read about what he's taking. Educate yourself about that drug: Dosage, effects, consumption patterns. Erowid.org is a great site for that purpose.
- Find out how much he's taking, how often, how it impacts his everyday life, etc. If he smokes crack every day, he's definitely an addict; if he only does so on weekends or even further apart, he probably has different problems. There's no use pressuring a non-addicted person into going into rehab if they're really treying to repress some kind of psychological problem, for example.
- Talk to him. Talk, talk, talk. Talk about the drugs, talk about his life, talk about the goddamn weather if it need be. Just get him to open up, and eventually he'll start talking about his problems in a way that will be helpful. Don't let the contact drop.
Logged
The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.