Chapter 2: A Tooth for a ToothThey say that the monsters who walk this world were created by ancient alchemists who discovered the secret of life and grew living creatures from shining golden coins. Most monsters - even us Goombas - have coins inside us.
I never thought much of it before, but I've always been able to sense the presence of other goombas. Along the road, though, I felt a presence that was similar, but...stronger, coming from just outside my range of vision.
As I peered around the bend, I saw it for what it was - a wild piranha plant. I wasn't too worried about it, though; piranha plants are dangerous up close, but it isn't hard to keep out of their reach, as long as you don't go trying to attack them -
Aaand there it goes. Well, guess it's time to try and play the hero. I drew my spear with my mouth. It ain't easy having no arms.
Well, that was lucky. It can't do any damage without its teeth -
Well, guess I was wrong. Gumbarg's down.
The battle is won, but not without costs. One of my drunken allies is dead. I made sure to liberate his coins, as is the custom among our people. At least, I think it is. I also took his hat and shoes, which are made of buzzy beetle scales and are quite a bit nicer than my own fuzzy clothes.
Ulgum, who ran off at the moment the plant reared its head, came back. Could be worse. A drunken coward for a traveling companion is better than no companion at all.
We continued north. We encountered few wild creatures aside from an abundance of wild piranha plants, which fortunately Ulgum continued to avoid. It must be too early in the season. Along the way, we did encounter a shyguy and a bub-ulb traveling south, but they had nothing interesting to report.
We eventually reached Orangecoil, but the place was deserted...
Scattered around the forest retreat were several tents full of yoshis. And one bumpty. I suppose I would have warned them about the army, but they wouldn't wake up...
Meh. Maybe we'll find the army further on. I decided to explore...
Finally, Ulgum's stupidity outweighed his cowardice and he attacked a wild piranha. Hoping to save him, I joined in the fight...
Argh! The stupid plant bit off BOTH of my tusks!
I killed the thing, but Ulgum died as well... Well, this turned out to be a stupid venture, after all. Alone in the wilderness, friendless and tuskless, and the sun is beginning to set...
Wait, what's that?
A Koopa fortress! Well, this looks like a fine place to stay, doesn't it? Koopas always can find a use for more goombas...usually throwing us at enemies in droves to die, but eh. It's a living.
As I approached the fortress proper, I could feel the presence of more monsters concentrated in a small space than I have ever felt before...
And when I closed my eyes and focused, I could feel hundreds upon hundreds of little coin-made homunculi, deep below me. Surely, there is no better place for a wandering monster than here.
I will rest here. For now.