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[Angle]

So I've decided that I'd like to pursue a relationship and all that, and of course, I don't have the slightest clue how to go about doing that. Anyone have any advice? I'm interested in pursuing a relationship, not just random hook-ups. I'm 21, but I have little interest in alcohol - I only really like wine, and that only with a good meal. I've heard lots of things about various dating sites, both positive and negative. Do any of you have first hand experience?

Edit - and of course, I didn;t think to check for a generic dating advice thread until after I posted this. DEEEEEERRRRP.

[Vector]

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[Angle]

Greetings, directional one.

...Hmm. But what places? I usually just hang on the internet all day. I could go bar hopping, I guess, but as I said I have little interest in alcohol and going to bars alone seems like a bad idea. My next impulse would be to use a dating site, but I have no idea which one, or if that's even a good idea.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Just... go. There's no secret or anything. Things WILL start off awkward, almost always anyways, you just have to power through it. Talk. Talk about stuff, about life, deep stuff, shallow stuff, fun serious, music, interests, etc. but most importantly: ENGAGE YOUR DATE, make them talk too, make sure they have fun, and they'll do the same in return, it's all about give and take.

To address what else I see here: don't worry about alcohol, drink however much, or little, you like.


EDIT: Haha, I thought this was about going ON a date. In terms of pursuing a relationship:

Listen... It's all the same, on a dating site, in a bar, a stranger walking by you. Yes, you can meet someone amazing online. There's no debate that you WILL meet people, just remember that you can meet someone anywhere. Be aggressive, you don't have to walk straight up to them and boldly declare your love for them, but you can and SHOULD ask them out if you feel like it. It can be a simple as sending them a message on Facebook.

DOUBLE EDIT: Go anywhere and make friends. Or just acquaint yourself with people. It can also be online. It's not as weird as you think; Heck, if someone I knew online asked me on a date i'd go (provided i've actually seen them before).

There are dating sites and then there are "dating sites", make sure you choose the right one.

... Also remember that the best relationships are between best friends.

[Bauglir]

As I'm a man who hasn't been on a date in nearly a decade, you may wish to take my advice with a big heaping bowl of salt. That said, I'd recommend clubs that have to do with things you're interested - any programming ones nearby? If you're at university or something, that would be a big help with the group-finding thing. If you don't mind more of a crapshoot with no guide to mutual interests, you can also see if there's any speed-dating things or similar gimmicks about.

Once you find somebody, it is imperative that you ask them out fairly quick.

[Angle]

I'm not actually going to college this semester. I guess I'll try some dating sites, then, and see what I think of them.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

I'm not actually going to college this semester. I guess I'll try some dating sites, then, and see what I think of them.

A shame, because incidentally, college/university is the BEST way to meet people... but ya, try some dating sites, see what happens, if you feel like you've got it: God speed, sailor.

[mainiac]

I met a girl at a community theatre, we've been dating for five years.  Theatres are veritable dens of lust.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

I met a girl at a community theatre, we've been dating for five years.  Theatres are veritable dens of lust.

hmmmm. I will test this claim.

[Vector]

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[Eldin00]

If you don't want to do dating sites, you might try meetup.com or similar. With luck, you'll find at least one local group who gets together regularly and shares a common interest with you. The real key here is putting yourself in situations where you'll meet new people. If you can pick situations where the people you meet are likely to have at least a few common interests with you, so much the better.
As an example, I live in a small-ish city, and meetup.com has hundreds of groups within 25 miles of my zipcode, with a diversity of topics including (among many others) video games, tabletop and role-playing games, programming, singles groups, outdoor activities, martial arts, religious and/or spiritual beliefs, investing, wine/beer/spirits, various sciences, travel, DIY, pets... the list goes on, but you get the idea.
And that's just the clubs/groups that use meetup.com to organize events and activities. 
Dating sites can certainly work. The bar scene can work, but if it's not your scene, you might meet a lower proportion of people you consider relationship material there. Doing volunteer work at a local school or charitable organization can work. Just going and hanging out in places were people congregate (parks, malls, concerts, ect) can work. Like I said earlier, the key to meeting someone to start a relationship with is putting yourself into situations where you're exposed to new people you can meet.


TLDR; Unless you live in a very rural area, there are lots of ways to meet new local people. Meeting new people is the key to meeting someone to start a relationship with.

[Angle]

Hmm. Looks like good advice all round. I'll try out some meetup groups.