If not, past me feels sorry for you. I dunno when those results come out, but getting cockblocked like that is inherently painful. It's not the end of the world, and it's not the end of your world either. Keep moving forward. Maybe the future will get better, and you just don't know it.
("I" refers to current-me, "you" refers to past-me, and "we" refers to both.)
Hey. Hope you're doing fine. Hope the "January 5, 2020" timestamp doesn't detract from the experience.
I'm doing fine. Just one thing: oh god, you were a dumbass. It's 7th January, not 5th. Ya bloody fool. It did detract from the experience; to quote Reviewbrah, "My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined."
How are those results? Did you manage to get at least a C in both [REDACTED] and History?
Yeah, I managed to do better than that! A C+ in [REDACTED] and a B+ in History. Happiest moment in my life at that point, goddamn!
If so, are you in college/university? Have you at least applied for it? Congrats, BTW. It's the end of an era, and the beginning of a new one. You're free. You have a degree of independence that past-me just wishes he had.
Hell yeah, I'm in uni! I'm busy, but I'm way happier here than I was at school. A new era has indeed begun! Freedom! Woo!
Funny you should refer to yourself as "he", though. You're nonbinary now! Or rather, you were all along, and you just didn't notice it until... November 21 (5 days earlier, if talking about the first clear indication) 2020. I swear there's a distinction. Don't worry, I still don't give a shit about my appearance, and I have no plans to give 2 shits about that for as long as I live. You see a potato, I see a potato, I think we're in agreement here.
I'm fairly sure you didn't exactly like he/him that much anyway; I remember you sorta forcing yourself to refer to yourself as he/him even this long ago. I think I have a timeline of things that led up to me "officially" (our parents won't recognize it, sure as hell our country won't, but at least I do) doing away with the whole "gender" thing somewhere in the filing cabinets of my mind.
Either way, stresses will be high. Any recurrence of the BLIPS? Suicidal ideation? Have you gone back to the antipsychotics that past-me hates with a burning passion? Your shrink's been gone for a year, but now she's back.
Honestly, your prediction... complete opposite of that. Lowest stress levels in my life! Mental stability has been at a 2-year high. Relatively-major drop at the start of COVID-19... hold on. So there was a global pandemic, everything sorta went to shit, and people are locked down now, can't go out of their homes.
It turns out that exercise (or going out in general) stabilizes your-- our, mental state, and when it's taken away... things go to shit real quick, I'll tell you that. It was basically the Bad Times of 2019, but, like, 70% of that. Brain still flooded with bad thoughts, but with a better understanding of my mental state and how it works, things were resolved relatively quickly. The diagnosis has been downgraded to "anxiety" plus a small amount of BLIPS under high stress. We're lucky. All we've ever gotten is
delusions overvalued ideas and heightened senses.
I'm on antipsychotics, different ones, due to that whole shitshow. This time, however, my brain finally agrees with them and doesn't throw a massive hissy fit about how it's not being allowed to reach its full potential every time I take it. It's still no fun; brain don't work too good while under the effects of them. However, I need them to sleep, and that's the point at which my brain just gave up fighting against it.
Also, bad news: your shrink? She's gone to a different, private hospital. Can't see her anymore, not unless you fork out the dough. But then again, I didn't exactly feel that much need; with her and Mom's help, I've refined the tools that I use to stabilize my own mental state. I do have another shrink, don't worry, but it seems that I have had very little need to go to her specifically. It turns out that Mom's a pretty good shrink. Just that she can't directly prescribe me meds; she has to run it past my new shrink before the hospital would allow it.
Any new phones or other hobby-related things? Did you get a new phone? What you'd do with the A50? Custom ROM, perhaps? Trade-in? Lost, just like the J7 Prime!? Nah, I kid, I kid.
I've lost interest in phones; I thought they were getting a little stagnant (though I heard these folding phones might shake things up). Now, PCs, something you were last interested in forever (i.e. pre-2016) ago, I've seen some crazy shit going on. Everything's flipped around in 2020. AMD's beating Intel, AMD's actually competitive with Nvidia, Nvidia's buying ARM, shit's crazy out there! Only problem: can't buy any of their new stuff. All out of stock or marked up to hell. Whole pandemic's fucked up the logistics thing.
A50's a bit on the busted side, sorry to say. Not lost, thankfully; methinks the screen's just suffering from a loose connection. I do have this new, rugged-ass phone, so I'm hoping that thing survives longer under my care. I hope.
Anyway, that's all the time I have. Be good.
I will. I still remember you regretting this ending, like "Oh god, that's a shit ending, future-me won't like it", then the thread was inevitably closed, so you just had to accept it. I've made a better ending for next year's Time Capsule, don't worry.
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Topic: Time Capsule 2020 (Read 3795 times)