Don't be Mad at Me: The story of Elven Incompetence: 004My fortune aside, I arrived in the town of PortentScraped. On my way to the keep I passed by the church. Seemed like a place to check out.
I did not find the clergy anywhere, but did find a pool. One could only imagine . . .
The 'x' is where the merlock warlord is. The 'g' is the goblin lord consort, and the 'U' is the human bodyguard.
Exploring the tomb structure, I found not only the master criminal, but also the lord consort and his body guard. What were they doing down here . . .
Exploring further, I heard a noise behind me. I an unsure what it was, but it seemed an aimless shuffling rather than determined intelligence . . . It didnt concern me, I suppose.
Gathering the improved armor, sans the tortured animal products, I traded the lord consort an iron boat for some silk trousers. He seemed happy ptbptbing his boat around without pants, and being a goblin was generally inoffensive to my eyes.
The bandit chief was a bit more adult. He accepted a steel toy hammer for his copper axe. The merlock bandit chief was happy pretending to be a legendary dwarven weaponsmith. A sense of despair crept over me watching two powerful and influential leaders playing with toys found in a tomb, but as an elf I knew I had years to fix this problem.
Going back to find out what that unknown noise from earlier was, I found that the catacombs extended over an evil biome, and the land was cursing the bodies back to unlife. I dare not explore past them, and instead pick a fight with the now disarmed merlock bandit chief.
The goblin noble told his bodyguard to stay out of the fight, an they watched us struggle and jump about. My lack of a serious weapon caused me to be unable to gain the upper hand, and his lack of skill in toy-hammering ensured it was a test of endurance. When I grew tired, I would jump away and rest, but the process was too slow. I lead the merlock into the lower-left floor-hatch where the zombies were. I counted three zombies, plus the neck and head I threw into the hill biome to test it.
While I finished catching my breath, the zombies followed the slower merlock to the right while I
ran jumped north. The noised that followed seemed to suggest that the bodyguard and lord consort were also involved somehow in the resulting fight.
-I trade the merlock master a steel toy hammer for his copper battle axe
-We fight, but I have wood and he has no skill in toy hammers, so we get tired
-I lead him towards the zoms
-I lure him into the zombie chamber, pic 011, and he flees.
-Using my jumping, I run away faster, but into a dead end.
-They seem to be chasing him
-I am sure he died, as the commotion calmed
[redacted]
[redacted]
[more redacted]
-Opps-
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Do I file that under incompetence or ingenuity?