10 years ago, the land of Aezc was at peace. The goodly and kind peoples of the world, the elves and the humans and the dwarves and their allies had driven away many of the dark foes that once ravage the worlds, trapping them in a few inhospitable isolated lands. It was a time of peace and prosperity, but it could not last. The Three Endings, Susavsha in the Lost Tongue came. First there was the Savaging. The many great enemies locked away escaped, and this was paralleled in the mortal plane. Hordes of goblins, armies of drow, and swarms of orcs, and other, fouler beasts darkened the lands. Some places they ignored. Some they overran and pillaged. Some they took for themselves, some they attacked but could not conquer. Their reign seemed inevitable, but then came the Sundering. Great ranges of mountains rose from the earth, while others collapsed as if they were never there. Seas dried up, new lakes appeared, and rivers changed their courses. For a while, no one knew if the terrain would change beneath their feet, but then there was a pause. It seemed the world would be safe at last, but the forces that had caused this were merely waiting to strike a final blow. The Shattering came. First, magic inexplicably failed. Then, dead zones and places in which magic became unpredictable sprung up. The world was once more wracked by insane change, although on a smaller scale. Natural disasters, stroms, floods, and fires struck. The earth itself split open. New mountains arose. But as people recovered, they noticed that these changes were different. A river flowed right over a chasm as if it was not there. The changes were also more local, not really being bigger then a new lone mountain or a small wood. You wonder what will come next, as you look around the once fair town of Dawnsbury, and more specifically, you notice the great effect, greater then the other two combined the
Sundering had
Shattering had
Savaging had
Writing/organization in the OP doesn't really draw me in; just looks like a simple block of text going on about something I might or might not care about. Compare with something like:
10 years ago, the land of Aezc was at peace. The goodly and kind peoples of the world, the elves and the humans and the dwarves and their allies had driven away many of the dark foes that once ravage the worlds, trapping them in a few inhospitable isolated lands. It was a time of peace and prosperity, but it could not last. The Three Endings, Susavsha in the Lost Tongue came.
First there was the Savaging. The many great enemies locked away escaped, and this was paralleled in the mortal plane. Hordes of goblins, armies of drow, and swarms of orcs, and other, fouler beasts darkened the lands. Some places they ignored. Some they overran and pillaged. Some they took for themselves, some they attacked but could not conquer.
Their reign seemed inevitable, but then came the Sundering. Great ranges of mountains rose from the earth, while others collapsed as if they were never there. Seas dried up, new lakes appeared, and rivers changed their courses. For a while, no one knew if the terrain would change beneath their feet, but then there was a pause.
It seemed the world would be safe at last, but the forces that had caused this were merely waiting to strike a final blow. The Shattering came. First, magic inexplicably failed. Then, dead zones and places in which magic became unpredictable sprung up. The world was once more wracked by insane change, although on a smaller scale. Natural disasters, stroms, floods, and fires struck. The earth itself split open. New mountains arose.
But as people recovered, they noticed that these changes were different. A river flowed right over a chasm as if it was not there. The changes were also more local, not really being bigger then a new lone mountain or a small wood.
You wonder what will come next, as you look around the once fair town of Dawnsbury, and more specifically, you notice the great effect, greater then the other two combined the
Sundering had
Shattering had
Savaging had
In my opinion, much easier to read, even though all I did was break it up into different, very small paragraphs. Bolding and coloring the options isn't much either, but it adds a bit of importance and effort to the whole thing. People tend to like things it looks like you've spent a lot of effort on other things that are just kind of crammed in there, which your current OP strongly suggests.
Rules:
Turns will last a week unless there is combat or some other encounter. One turn in combat lasts a few seconds. Other encounters will vary.
Action rolls such as swinging a sword or searching are on a d20
Luck such as random encounters are on a d100.
You can make some tactical decisions and people may listen to you.
A sample character would be this
Rozak the Mighty
Dragonborn
Fighter
Str:15
Dex:11
Con:15
Int:12
Wis:13
Cha:10
Fury:10/10
Toughness:10/10
Fort +2
Agi +2
Will +2
Greatsword
Scale armor
Traveler's pack with standard kit
23 gp
17 sp
Cleave
Double slash
Whirling blade
Perks
Bloodied blade
more or less.
Any questions?
Moving on to the next post, we have the same issue. Your explanation of the rules is very simple, which can work but runs the risk of looking lazy or rushed. But you don't explain how to suggest a character at all, you just give a (rather complex) example and say "uh yeah something like this." Put together, this looks rushed and poorly thought out, and doesn't really tell even people who are interested exactly what to do.
Overall, my advice would be to take your time. Consider how exactly to describe how to make a character like the example you've listed. Even if that just means "throw whatever out and it'll work," you should explain that, or explain what parts are variable or unimportant or will work but oddly.
Author
Topic: Game Support and Feedback (Read 980 times)