It would be made so that dwarves hated the elves much easier: just by having adolescent dwarves not look like elves. For example, by having them resemble well-fed human toddlers instead. Then tree-huggers would be out of luck there.
Dwarven boys crawl out of the womb with facial hair already grown. I think we're already there .
Well, for a straight Dwarf male, an Elven female would have a significant deviation score from the Dwarven female population average. Elven males aren't exactly Dwarfy-looking either. So outside of Tolkien (where everyone is just in awe of everything Elfy), I wouldn't expect any Dwarf to find any remotely normal-looking Elf attractive.
This system would lead Human females to find Dwarf males unusual but not hideous (too short and too broad). Dwarf males would find Human females scrawny (and
bald if the raws are corrected to give beards to Dwarf females). Dwarf females are pretty far from the Human female population average, even moreso if they are bearded.
And yeah you're right I was talking mailny about women. In men, youth is not apreciated that much because for them the ability to provide for the family is much more important than fertility. (which stays nearly constant compared to women's throughout the life)
The gender roles you cite are an oversimplification even for humanity - and why should they extend past humanity?
Dwarven women remain fertile til the day they die. Dwarven mothers don't need to be provided for - they can and do keep working, even when they've just given birth. This fertility/provider evopsych bullshit (but I repeat myself) just doesn't apply to dwarves.
This placeholder behavior applies to all fertile creatures in DF, it's not that Dwarves are intentionally non-human here. Once some kind of childcare is instituted,
someone will need to care for the baby. Without a nursery to consolidate all of the baby beards, Mom or Dad is going to be interrupted constantly. Hopefully by then we'll also be able to prioritize labors to keep the fort's work from grinding to a halt.
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J. R. R. Tolkien's Dwarves have beards on the females but also keep them hidden away with some hinting that they aren't permitted to engage in anything (crafts, wars, etc.) that could ever make them a Dwarf of note. For one thing, Dwarven lineages don't even note the females. In this world, Dwarves are 2/3 male, leading them to be waaaaaay over-protective of their females to the point of objectifying them. D&D and MERP use these Dwarves, though they leave out the part about repressing any female ambition.
C. S. Lewis's Dwarves are all male. Gimli's line "...And this in turn has given rise to the belief that there
are no dwarf women, and that dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground! Which is, of course, ridiculous." was Tolkien poking fun at Lewis.
Terry Pratchett's Dwarves have males and females that are indistinguishable from one another, and it is considered impolite to ask. This is done for comedic effect rather than any deep statement about Dwarf biology (even
Dwarves can't tell the genders apart, which leads to some uncomfortable dating situations).
It's obvious that Toady isn't using any of these directly. I imagine that Dwarf females look an awful lot like Dwarf males (and I do tweak the raws to put beards on them), but at least the Dwarves themselves have no trouble telling them apart.