DAY TWO
HOUR NINETEEN OF SIEGE
LINKING TARGET NOT SELECTED. STANDBY...[1] THE MOON FALLS OUT OF THE SKY! ROLL F-
HARNESS THE ELECTRIC NAZI'S POWER FOR MY OWN USE
PUNCH AT 224,000 MPH
[3] THE POWER OF ELECTRIC NAZI IS FLOWING THROUGH YOU. IT FEELS GOOD. [4] YOU PUNCH THE WEAKENED NAZI AT 60 KILOMETERS PER SECOND. THE RESULTING CORPSE SUFFERS FROM REENTRY EFFECTS ON ASCENT AND WILL SLAM INTO THE MOON SHORTLY.
Declare war on the moon for missing the GM's post
FUCK
RESPAWN AS SELF. UNLEASH THE POWER OF THE BOSTON TEADRIVER ON THE STEALTHELECTRONAZI. BAM POW ZOOM STRAIGHT TO THE MOON
GET BOMB GODS TO EXPLODE THE MOON
[6+3] THE MOON HAS BEEN VANQUISHED! [6] THE REMAINS ARE ABSORBED BY THE LIGHTTREE. IT BEGINS TO EMIT PULSES OF HEAT AS PETATHAUMS OF FREE ENERGY ARE SWIFTLY SIPHONED INTO THE CORE!
MEANWHILE, THE STEALTHELECTRONAZI IS FLYING INTO OUTER ORBIT. FASCINATING.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE CAKE IS. ASK GLADOS.
Also, PERSONA 3 FTW.
Now that I am well equipped with Satan on my side, search for a Mexican dessert store. If there is none, start one. Make or buy flan and eat it, giving some of it to Satan. Then visit the Nigerian 419 man.
[1] YOU PICK UP CITRUS FLAN! SATAN GETS AHEAD OF HIMSELF AND EATS YOU ALONGSIDE THE FLAN! THIS KILLS YOU! RESPAWN?
Oops.
Send an e-mail to Cyborg Nikolai Tesla pointing out that, given the good inherent in every individual and in every human life, omnicide causes a net loss of good.
If this doesn't stop his rampage, hack CNT again to get his behavior to a non-omnicidal kind of good.
[2]
"THE EMAIL SERVICE IS CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE DUE TO SUSPECTED HOSTILE ACTIVITY. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER."[4] ADVANCED ALIGNMENTFUCKERY LEADS TO CYBORG TESLA TURNING CHAOTIC GOOD. [1] THE ALIGNMENT INTERFACE IS BROKEN IN THE PROCESS!
"I BUILD ALLIANCES, RECRUIT TROOPS, PLAN, STRATEGIZE...FOR WHAT!? IT IS TIME FOR DIRECT ACTION!"
Respawn and drop-kick NullForceOmega in the pie-hole!
[1] YOU DROP-KICK YOURSELF IN THE BRAIN! THE BRAIN IS BROKEN! THIS KILLS YOU. RESPAWN?
INFILTRATE PALADIN HEADQUARTERS. REPLACE DUDES WITH RED NINJAS.
By the way, what does the link system do?
[2] YOU SLIP PAST THE DOOR GUARDS AND BEGIN INFILTRA-
"CRIMINAL DETECTED!"*fwap*"SAVTRIA MADE TOMORROW FOR THE CROOKS WE DON'T CATCH TODAY."A SMALL SECURITY ROBOT STUNS YOU BY SURPRISE AND HANDCUFFS YOU. A PALADIN OFFICER THEN TAKES YOU TO THE DUNGEON, WHERE YOU ARE STRIPPED OF WEAPONRY AND THROWN INTO A HOLDING CELL FOR FURTHER PROCESSING.
Dispose of Morgan Freeman, take over Compton in a coup and make it a proper faction.
[1] SORRY BUB, TAKING DOWN THE FINAL BOSS OF WHAT WAS THE REASON THIS GAME EXISTS WILL BE A BIT HARDER THAN THAT. OH AND YOU DIE, BUT DEATH IS CHEAP AROUND THESE PARTS, NEVERTHELESS, RESPAWN?
BUILD HUNDREDS OF SPACE PLANES, SEND SPACE PLANES TO GO INTO SPPPACCE, BUILD ORIBITAL SPACE LASER ARTILLARY PLATFORM BOMBER, ON SURFACE, BUILD MORE WAR BOMBERS.
BUILD TINY WAR PLANES TO PROTECT HUGE BIG BOMBER PLANES,BUILD MINING PLANES TO GET MYTHRIL FOR PLANES, IRON AND COAL FOR STEEL, AND OIL FOR FUEL.
EDIT: I should get A +1 for building military planes because of my Base!
[5] SPACEPLANES CONSTRUCTED! [4] SPACE COLONIZED! [1] SPACEPLANES SHOT DOWN BY HUGE FLEETS DUKING IT OUT IN THE PLANET'S ORBIT! WOW, THESE MULTIPLANAR RIFTS REALLY DID A NUMBER ON THAT PLACE.
[6] YOU CREATE ESCORT PLANES! YOU RUN OUT OF MATERIAL ALONG THE WAY, SO YOU DISMANTLE THE BIGGER PLANES TO MAKE SMALLER ONES! HUZZAH!
[4] MINING OPERATIONS COMMENCE! THEY'RE NOT VERY PROFITABLE WHAT WITH YOU MINING OUT YOUR OWN AIRBASE, BUT THEY WORK!
[1] NONE FOR YOU
color=DARKERthanBLACK: "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
MAKE THE NAZI'S AND THE REDS BOTH REGRET REFUSING ME! SEND THE HORSEMEN! ALSO, SHOOT AT FOURTH WALL: BECAUSE, WHY THE HELL NOT, PLAYER!?
[2] THE FOURTH WALL FALLS ON YOUR FACE AND IMMOBILIZES YOU WITH SHEER META.
Savrtia's got the red army handled, time for everyonbe else to die, battlescreens to full, anti-grav on, 500kph sounds like a good speed for STRAFING THE WHOLE DAMN CITY INTO OBLIVION WITH THE HELLBORES!!!
[6][6][6] LIFTOFF ACHIEVED. BLASTING AWAY AT MACH ONE, YOU REDUCE EVERY PART OF THE TOWN THAT'S NOT FORTIFIED INTO NO MAN'S LAND, KILLING PALADIN, NAZI, COMMUNIST WITH A MANIACAL LAUGHTER BEING HEARD ALL ACROSS
TOWN RUBBLE THE WASTES.
Damage Report:
Destroyed:
*Northern Quarter, Main Town
*Eastern Quarter, Main Town
*Western Quarter, Outer Wall
*Eastern Quarter, Outer Wall
*Southern Quarter, Outer Wall
Damaged:
*Northern Quarter, Outer Wall
*Western Quarter, Main Town
*Stronghold Airfield
Extreme biome damage detected. Adjusting scenario...Ally with RED, order orbital bombardment of entire area.
ALSO: Buy a map.
ALLIANCE GRANTED. FACTIONS HAVE BEEN MERGED TO REFLECT CHANGES.
[2] ORBITAL OPERATIONS CURRENTLY INTERRUPTED DUE TO YOUR SIGNAL ARRAY BEING BOMBARDED BY HELLBORES.
KAKAKACHING! MANY THANKS FOR YOUR PATRONAGE! HERE IS ACTIVATION CARTRIDGE! SCENARIO CARTRIDGE: SHENANIGANS IN SEVION APPEARS IN GLOBAL INVENTORY. 150 POINTS DEDUCTED FROM FACTION POOL.
"Sir, the enemy is on all sides! What shall we do?"
Fire the laser canon!
"Ok sir."
SUMMON LASER CANON LAZASKI TO CRUSH ALL OPPOSITION WITH ITS LAZORS, ALSO SUMMON ARMY OF LAWERS TO COMBAT SERVRTIA, BY FLYING MURDER CHARGES. ALSO SOMMON LEGIONS OF NETHERBEASTS. FINALY, SEND FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCOLASP TO YOU AT FINAL BOSS.
[4v4+(2*2)] SAVTRIA SWEEPS YOUR LASER CANNON OUT OF EXISTENCE.
"ARE YOU EVEN TRYING?"[6v1+(2*2)]
"...LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE. GOOD ON YOU THEN."SAVTRIA IS NOW OCCUPIED WITH LEGAL SHENANIGANS!
Get back on elephant. Charge again.
[2] THE ELEPHANT REFUSES TO RESPECT YOUR AUTHORITY!
BASK IN ONLINE CELEBRITY STATUS. SEND A TWEET TO ALL MY FANS TO COMMENCE BASHING NAZIS IN THE FACE. TAKE SELFIES AND PHOTOS OF PALADINS IN WARZONE WITH #WAREFFORT #PUNCHNAZIS501. POST IT EVERYWHERE TO RAISE AWARENESS OF THE WAR (BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY THE AWARENESS OF MY IMPORTANCE).
[3] THE MAJORITY OF YOUR FANS LIKED YOU BETTER WHEN YOU WERE UNDERGROUND. A SMALL GROUP OF THEM ARRIVES NONETHELESS, SOMEWHAT ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT PUNCHING PEOPLE IN THE FACE WITH NO REPERCUSSIONS.
*Arrive in a certain giant mech in order to fight the REDS. Smash ALL THE REDS!!!!!!! They had killed the Goddess.... (even though she is back)*
TENGEN TOPPA GURREN LAGANN
*Start forming the Dai Gurren Brigade*
(Note one of the reds has a link...)
[4] YOU SPIN INTO REALIZATION THAT THE REDS HAVE NO AREAS UNDER THEIR CONTROL! YOU STILL HAVE A PRETTY SPIFFY MECH, THOUGH.
FUCKING HELL I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S EVEN GOING ON. CONSTRUCT HUGE ABOVE GROUND BUNKER COMPLEXES TO HOLE UP IN UNTIL SHITSTORM HOPEFULLY PASSES. THEN FIRE OFF BUNKER ARTILLERY TO REMIND PEOPLE THAT WE STILL EXIST I GUESS.
[6] THROUGH THE POWER OF THE ELECTRIC NAZI EMPIRE, A FORTRESS IS BUILT! [4] TRY AS YOU MIGHT, YOUR BUNKER ARTILLERY CAN'T PIERCE THE HELLSTORM A BOLO IS FIRING FROM ABOVE. AT LEAST YOU'RE SAFE HERE - NOT EVEN THE WORLD ENDING CAN DAMAGE THIS PLACE!
Spawn in as a cheesecake. Eat Nazi.
[3] THE ELECTRIC NAZI HAPPEN TO NOT BE DELICIOUS. YOU EAT HALF A STANDARD ELECTRIC NAZI AND GIVE IT A BREAK FOR NOW.
FACTION LEADER: Savtria the Ellatar +(2*2)
TCM: INTENSIFYING WITNESSING OF MORGAN THE FREEMAN
Harry Baldman: RESTING . . .
NullForceOmega: EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE
Remuthra: RESTING . . .
Objective: EXPLODIFYING NATURAL SATELLITES
Krath: VANQUISHING THE LUNAR MENACE
GreatWyrmGold: ACTUALLY FIXING OMNICIDE
BeruangSarkis: GATHERING THE MILDLY INTERESTED HOOLIGANS
DarkArtemisFowl: FLAN CONSUMER/CONSUMEE
Gamerlord: RESTING . . .
Elephant Parade: ENJOYING THE STATE OF NOT HAVING ENOUGH BADGES TO TAME ELEPHANTS
POTATO SOUP GOLEM
????
FACTION LEADER: wer6: ACTUALLY GETTING SHIT DONE
ASSORTED AIRCRAFT
????
RED:
FACTION CO-LEADER: Avis-Mergulus: SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY RISING OUT OF THE UNDERWORLD
FACTION CO-LEADER: Dorsidwarf: COMBINED ANTIMOON ARMS ACTIVATE
poketwo: DROWNING A PHYSICAL GOD IN LEGALESE
aattss: *fwap*
NINJAS?
????
FACTION LEADER: CHARON: SLOWLY FADING INTO BEING A RED HERRING
Grahamagara: RESTING . . .
HORSEMEN OF APOCALYPSE
????
Errol: BUNKERING DOWN FOR THE LONG HAUL
UNTEROFFIZIER WILHELM POELZ: ENJOYING QUALITY ARMY CUISINE
????
CYBORG TESLA +1: HAVING INTERFACES MESSED WITH
VARIOUS ELECTRIC NAZIS FROM TESLA'S PERSONAL BODYGUARD
????
WESTERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: WASTELAND
MAIN TOWN: 90% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 10% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: PLAINS
ELECTRIC NAZI REGIONAL HEADQUARTERS: 100% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: FORTRESS (HIGH DENSITY)
NORTHERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: FORTIFICATION (PARTIALLY DESTROYED)
MAIN TOWN: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: WASTELAND
SPECIAL: LIGHTTREE LOCATION
EASTERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: WASTELAND
MAIN TOWN: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: WASTELAND
SOUTHERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: WASTELAND
MAIN TOWN: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: URBAN (HEAVILY FORTIFIED)
PALADIN HEADQUARTERS: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 0% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: URBAN (HIGH DENSITY) (FORTIFIED)
STRONGHOLD:
0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED/SPACOVIET, 100% BOMBER, 0% NJHPCDFANMAODI, 0% GTSAOE CONTROL
TERRAIN: MILITARY COMPOUND (PARTIALLY DESTROYED)
[4][6][2][?] THE LIGHTTREE BURSTS INTO FLAMES AS THE GROUND BEGINS TO SHAKE INTENSELY.
THE TOWN AND SURROUNDING AREA IS SURROUNDED BY A GIANT BUBBLE OF SHIELDING.
THE SHIELD BUBBLE INEXPLICABLY LEAVES THE PLANET - THE TOWN STILL INSIDE IT - AND STARTS FLYING INTO SPACE UNKNOWN, SMASHING THROUGH THE WARRING FLEETS OF THE PLANET'S ORBIT.
"UNIT REQUEST CALM AS AREA IS TRANSITIONED."OFFSITE REINFORCEMENTS TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE.
CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN NPCS AND PCS TEMPORARILY ALLOWED AS FREE ACTION, EXECUTED BETWEEN MAIN TURNS.SENSE ROLL: [3] WOW! YOU'RE IN SPACE! HOLY SHIT!