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[Grim Portent]

Thanks guys.

We're all kind of ok now, we've had a chance to sleep and for it to settle in a bit. We're still a bit sad, but it was for the best. Gran died peacefully enough, and the alternative at this point would be suffering on bedridden, scared and confused. Passing away asleep in hospital with family nearby is a kinder death than I feared she would get.

On the brighter side my brother and his wife called from their honeymoon in Japan, so we've gotten to catch up with them and talk about gran passing away, and my sister called from Qatar to talk about it as well, and she has some good news in that she has finally got her prosthetic leg after an amputation earlier this year, and my aunts and uncles are all here today making arrangements and catching up. Even my two cousins from Australia are here, and they haven't been here for a long time.

It's a bit bittersweet, but overall I'm feeling good about things now.

[nenjin]

My condolences. It's always a mix of emotions when an ailing family member that has required a lot of attention and care has passed. Grief and relief in equal measures. I'll be dealing with that with my grandma at some point soon...we think. She's 93 and the dementia is setting in but our family is so long lived, every year we're surprised she's still hanging on and mobile.

[King Zultan]

Sorry to hear about your loss.

[Truean]

Please do not quote

Don't like "trigger warnings," but suppose it might be considered polite given suicide subject matter.

I have repeatedly talked dozens of people out of that act over the years, but ...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Unfortunately, a vet friend unalived himself approx 7 feet away. He would not be persuaded otherwise. 
Police, ambulance already en route; not their fault, but too late. Always was.
Offered assist on service connected disability rating, benefits, etc. Multiple reasons not to; no dice.
Knew what he would do when he turned away. Tried to get him to look at me....
Guns are really loud. Tinnitus sucks. Saw the whole thing and aftermath.

Don't feel anything anymore. Not even numbness; didn't seem to phase me.
Seen this many times; stopped counting. Usually successful in preventing, not this time.
Filled out the police report; wrote it all down. Described the gun: Colt 1911. I think.
Told relevant authorities what happened, "Not a lot to be done." Gave statement etc.
Was told I had a "Flat Affect," but otherwise I largely avoid the medics "precautionary" observing me.
Politely enlightened them not to touch, assess or observe or otherwise falsely send me a bill. "I'm fine; body's there."

Long history of dealing with many people in suicidal situations, quite a lot...
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=43236.msg6730603#msg6730603
Fortunately, I am usually overwhelmingly successful, but perfection is unachievable in these situations.
Just focusing on a work project now. Thinking through steps required to complete, etc.
Intend to be up several hours tonight anyhow. From a utilitarian standpoint; may as well.

Perhaps not healthiest reaction. Cause assessment unclear; behavior not altered.
Then again, I suppose repetition of experience results in acclimation.... A far stronger person than I....
"Repetition of experience...." What a curious phrase as applied in meaning and having to be used.
Such a shame. Permanent solution to a temporary problem. Growing oddly and disturbingly proficient at prevention.

The VA has approximately 1/3 of the funding required to meet its mission; this funding shortage is a national disgrace. We owe them more. If you are considering this, do not do it. There is always another way. https://www.nami.org/Advocacy/Policy-Priorities/Responding-to-Crises/National-Hotline-for-Mental-Health-Crises-and-Suicide-Prevention

Please do not quote

[hector13]

I’m sorry to hear that, but it sounds like you did everything you could to offer help. It’s not your fault that wasn’t taken up, nor that you couldn’t prevent it.

It might be wise to speak to (a professional, or otherwise trusted) someone about this. Regardless of how “used to” it you get, seeing something traumatic can affect you in ways you may not notice.

[MCreeper]

Or maybe kick a habit on spending massive amounts of energy on doing a "good" thing that nobody actually wants. How did that even happen that you have large expirience with suicides?

[Truean]

Please do not quote

Appreciate concern. Ultimately, I realize that everything that could be done was done. You can't win them all.
Ironically, being that person to whom others speak to I will likely bring it up with another in a similar role.
After, now that I think of it, 20+ years, isn't the first time. Fortunately, overwhelming majority didn't carry it out.

Assuming this is a translation error or misunderstanding. See above.

Having successfully talked many people out of doing the act, both those people and their families tend to actually want the prevention.
Not really a habit. Spend enough years working with and around healthcare, legal, vet, and other areas where people get in very bad situations and you find an unfortunately large group of people who reach the erroneous conclusion they have no other way. Other ways exist and fortunately I've found several. Unfortunately, unlike the overwhelming majority of the others, this one didn't pursue those other choices. Here, an increase in service connected disability percentage and benefits would have provided additional resources. Referral to additional medical care and coverage for it along with vet services financial assistance for rent/mortgage, utilities, food, car repair and dental were possible. (Any Vet Service Commissions verify the person's DD214 etc.).

Again, anyone ever considering this. Please don't. There are other options. https://www.nami.org/Advocacy/Policy-Priorities/Responding-to-Crises/National-Hotline-for-Mental-Health-Crises-and-Suicide-Prevention

Please do not quote

[McTraveller]

MRIs show I apparently knocked off a piece of cartilage when I dislocated my knee. Now waiting for a surgeon consult to see the next step.  Really not what I had planned for the winter...

[Great Order]

I seem to be going through some sort of not-great phase right now. I'm not exactly sure what set it off, but I'm really just feeling unmotivated. I'm not depressed or anything, I just don't have any real drive to do stuff. Even worse than usual.

Like last year I tended not to be driven to do uni work until the last minute (Which I suspect was driven by my maybe-ADHD), now I'm not even getting that last drive. My only theory is that at the end of last academic year I was burned out, stressed and anxious all at once and my brain's gone into some sort of stress-relief mode where it's reflexively not caring about much of anything that needs doing to avoid those feelings.

I've got a meeting with a uni welfare counsellor on Monday about my maybe-ADHD. I'll discuss this with them then, see if they've got anything to say about it.

It'd be far less of an issue if this wasn't third year and I wasn't expected to be even more self-driven than last year. It's hard to do stuff that requires a certain degree of motivation when you've got none.