I've been saving this up for a while, but I haven't had a reason to post it until now.
The Adventures of Flame Kofibudo "Flame Candleroared"
9th Malachite, 125
I begin my adventure. I am sent by a person in my hometown to kill a vampire northwest of here. I gather two companions and set off. I stop by a fort on the way to get some gear. Sadly there is nothing there. I arrive at the town and confront the vampire. I turns out she is a lady consort and a swordsman. After a short brawl, the vampire is dead. I take some of her blood, just in case. I am sent to kill a bandit. I also picked up another companion. Night is falling so I rest in a village close to the bandits' camp.
10th Malachite, 125
I set off for the bandit camp. Upon arriving, I stealthily approach the camp. I see many bandits and their leader. My companions charge but I hang back. I sneak up and throw rocks at the commander. One shatters his hand and he passes out. I decapitate the commander and run for it. I go to the nearest town to report my success and I am sent to kill a dark hag spouse. Night was falling so I rested at a nearby village.
11th Malachite, 125
I arrived at the dark hags' lair. There were many inside. An epic battle ensued, during which I cut two dark hags completely in half. I was hungry so I ate some of what appears to be goblin meat. It was actually pretty good. I went to a nearby city to report my success. It was the biggest city I've ever seen. (OOC: It really was.) I stopped by the keep to pick up some gear. I found everything I needed. While I was there I decided to check the dungeons. I killed all the bandits and one troll that was there. I also picked up some loot to sell for food. I also noticed that my full title is Flame Kofibudo Iquisestah Asa, "Flame Candleroared the Spry Indignation of Meteors". From there I went to a temple, but there weren't any catacombs there. I sold the loot at the market for some eagle meat. Then I went along the river looking for sewer bandits. I only found one band, which I singlehandedly slaughtered. They kept aiming for my right upper arm for whatever reason. It was dark so I rested in the city.
12th Malachite, 125
I talked to someone and they told me to go far to the south to talk to their leader. No thanks, I'll just talk to the local lady. She told me to kill a troll in the temple catacombs. I searched all day and didn't find anything.
13th Malachite, 125
I continued my search for the temple. After only checking a few city blocks, I located the temple. I gathered many more companions and dove right in. The first bandits I met were goblins. The hammerlord leader and I battled for a while. When my companions were dead, I high-tailed it back to the surface with the hammerlord right behind me. Upon reaching the surface, the hammerlord was immediately attacked by the hundreds of cats that had filled the temple. With the added distraction of the cats, I was able to chop of his hammer arm, then his head. I'm taking the hammer as a trophy, as it has the kills of six of my companions and many cats. Also I killed the troll. I asked the lady for something to kill again and he told me to kill a tundra titan. I set off immediately. I rested in a town on the way.
14th Malachite, 125
I set off and was attacked by bandits! for some reason none of them have shields, but they are all masters. They killed my last companion but I got away, thankfully. I arrived at the shrine at almost night. The titan is a fire-breathing stegosaurus. When the titan tried to breath fire, I shoved my shield into its mouth. It just sat there trying to breath fire while I attacked it. Eventually it died. (OOC: I just sat there holding the arrow key. Easy fight.) I began walking back and spent the night on a beach.
15th Malachite, 125
I set off and reached a city about mid-morning. I stopped by a temple and killed the bandits. I slept in the town.
16th Malachite, 125
I got two new companions and killed all the bandits in the keep. There's nothing like the smell of fresh blood in the morning. I asked the lady and she told me to kill a forest titan in the southwest. And by in the southwest I mean on the other side of the continent. More walking. I set off. We were attacked by bandits on the way. I lost a companion but we handed them their asses. We slept in a town.
17th Malachite, 125
I left and immediately was attacked by bandits. They killed my last companion by I killed them all. THAT WAS MY FAVORITE COMPANION! Jerks. I also gotta attacked by bandits just before nightfall. There were two of them and they died easily. I got to a village just in time.
18th Malachite, 125
Today was boring and uneventful. Nothing happened at all. It's strangely comforting. I slept in the mountains.
19th Malachite, 125
Last night I was awoken by kobolds. They just sat there and did nothing so I left the alone. Creepy. I passed the Mountains of Evil. I slept in a village. I also noticed that I am now called Swordsmaster, even though I haven't fought since the 17th.
20th Malachite, 125
I ate my last eagle meat. I stopped by a town and killed all the bandits. I sold some bandit loot for some echidna meat. I got a companion.
21st Malachite, 125
I set off and arrived at the forest titan's shrine at midmorning. The titan is a serpent with a stinger. The battle was nothing like the other titan. We dodged around, being knocked down and scrambling away. The titan charged us over and over, bleeding from a numerous wounds. Afterwards the entire shrine was coated in titan blood and teeth. Afterwards I looked at the shrine and saw a strange green plant growing on the stone. My companion said it was moss and it only grew where titans had walked. I took a tooth as a souvenir and left for the town. I arrived just as night was falling.
22nd Malachite, 125
I asked a priest and he said to kill a brush titan to the south. It wasn't nearly as long a trip as the last one. I reached the shrine just before nightfall. The titan is a winged earwig with poison spit. It was an easy fight. We just hacked at it until it bled to death. It was almost night so I slept in the shrine.
23rd Malachite, 125
I went to a nearby fort to report my success. I went into the main building and it was full of roaches. Ick. I talked to the lady and she told me to kill a marsh titan to the west. FAR to the west. On the way I was ambushed by kobolds. These actually attacked, unlike the last ones. They all died. I slept in the middle of the woods.
24th Malachite, 125
I was attacked by a cheetah. It died. And Kobolds. They died. I slept in a convenient fort.
25th Malachite, 125
I got attacked by bandits in the late afternoon. It wasn't so much an attack as a gathering. Stupid broken goblin bandits. I had to sleep in a field.
26th Malachite, 125
I arrived at the shrine in the morning. The titan is a rock quadruped with a stinger. We just hacked at it until it fell apart. My axe-wielding dwarven friend sent the beast's ten-thousand-plus-pound lower half flying about twenty blocks. Jeez. We left and I had to sleep in a field again.
27th Malachite, 125
My companion left in the night. He was a really good companion, I doubt I'll find one like him again. When I was crossing a river an alligator attacked me. He grabbed me by the eyelid and shook me around. He ran off when I chopped off his foot. I just made it to a village to sleep.
28th Malachite, 125
I'm so tired, I'm just going to sleep till tomorrow.
1st Galena, 125
I'm so thirsty I could DRINK a horse. I am also out of food. I'm going hunting in the desert and then I will get a new quest. While I was hunting, I found a bandit camp! The leader was off by himself so I threw rocks at him until he broke ones and passed out. Then I decapitated him. I was hunting and I killed a stork but I need more meat than that. I killed a milkfish in the river and that should be enough meat for a while. It is nightfall so I will sneak to the nearby town and sleep there. I slept in an empty house.
2nd Galena, 125
I spent all night getting to this town so I slept till noon. I went and told the lord of a nearby fort. He said to kill a minotaur in the west, but not as far west as the last titan. I got a new companion. I went west and had to sleep in a field.
3rd Galena, 125
An alligator attacked me in a river but my companion shot her right in the heart. Awesome. Another alligator attacked me later but my companion shot this one in the foot and it ran off. We arrived at the labyrinth in the evening. I fought a minotaur child, but it wasn't the one I was sent to kill. While I fought it, two full-grown minotaurs showed up. One was the one I was sent to kill. My trusty companion shot the child in the head while I fended off all three. I decapitated one while another one with a really long name showed up. The minotaurs pushed me into a corner and began attacking my companion while he shot bolt after bolt into them. I killed the minotaur with the long name attacking my companion, but my companion alredy had a broken arm and lower spine. I couldn't see any more minotaurs but I could still hear one shouting. Then it charged around a corner and said a really long name. It pushed me back in the corner and went after my companion. It grabbed his arm and I split its skull open.
FINAL KILL COUNT: 5
I slept in the maze because if it's good enough for a half-man, half-bull monster, it's good enough for me. Also because there was no other shelter for days, my companion is not fit for travel, and I was tired.
4th Galena, 125
My companion's arm got better but his spine is still broken. He says he can still feel his legs, he just can't move them. I offered him my crutch but he declined. He also crawls as fast as I walk, so there's that. I talked to a lord and he told me to kill another minotaur, this time to the southwest. I arrived at the labyrinth just as night fell. The minotaur had a long name I can't remember. Hell, half the time I cant even remember my own name. I chopped into the minotaur's arm with a snap and it went limp but my sword was trapped. With its other arm it grabbed me around the throat and began to squeeze. I passed out. I awoke to find that the minotaur had passed out. A glance told me that my companion had saved me! I also noticed that my companion had only one bolt left. I pulled my sword free and prepared to strike the killing blow when the minotaur also awakened and squeezed my throat again. (OOC: ITS ONLY OPERABLE LIMB WAS STILL AROUND MY NECK) I passed out a gain and awoke to find the minotaur dead of bolt-to-the-head. My companion had saved me with his last bolt. I have had many companions: loyal, strong, able to swim - but none have ever saved my life. A toast to Luki Cengibudo, Crossbowman. (OOC: What should I do to commemorate this bro? I have no idea what to do!)
5th Galena, 125
Today Luki shot the wing off a barn owl. It turns out he has a second, secret quiver and it has 36 bolts in it. That means he used three bolts on the minotaur! He's still awesome though. Too bad you can't eat barn owls. Later I was attacked by bandits. I tried to reach Luki but he was killed by two speargoblins. I was defending him, and a speargoblin stabbed him in the head. I killed the goblin slowly, breaking every bone in his body. Also a bowman shot me in the chest so I cut off his hands. He saved me, but I couldn't save him. I now wear Luki's -minotaur hair amulet- and carry his copper crossbow in remembrance. I killed a capybara because I was running low on milkfish meat. I got to the fort and the lord told me to kill another minotaur, this time to the north. I also picked up another crossbowman. I left and slept in a field.
6th Galena, 125
I lost my companion in the night. I also fell off a waterfall while crossing a river and got attacked by some tigerfish. They were all bruised and I think they fell off too. I reached the labyrinth as night fell. I stabbed the minotaur in the gut and the sliced his head off. I slept in the labyrinth.
7th Galena, 125
I slept in because I couldn't see the sun and it felt great. I went to a nearby fort and the lady told me to kill some bandit in the town to the north. I also picked up a platinum flask because it was shiny and valuable. I also got a new bowman. I slept in a village by the city.
8th Galena, 125
I went to the town and cleaned out all the bandits. My companion was killed so I got a new one. I asked the local lord and he said to kill another minotaur, this time really close. I killed the minotaur but this time I had to go to it. Usually they just find me. I slept in a nearby village.
9th Galena, 125
I went back to the town to ask for someone to kill. The lord told me to kill an overlord to the south. I got many more companions for the fight. An enormous battle ensued in which most of my companions were killed and I had an awesome duel with the overlord. I slept in a village.
10th Galena, 125
I went back to the city to ask the lord for something to kill. He said to kill a minotaur to the northeast. I couldn't quite make it to the labyrinth in time so I slept in the open.
11th Galena, 125
I reached the labyrinth. I killed the minotaur with one slash. That would make it my 9th minotaur kill. I am the slayer of minotaurs! I got back to the town just before nightfall. I asked the lord and he told me to kill another minotaur, this time far to the north. I slept in the keep.
12th Galena, 125
I set off. I killed a boar at a river crossing. I slept by a river.
13th Galena, 125
I stopped breifly to go unicorn hunting. My companion shot one in the leg, causing it to pass out. Then I cut off its horn and killed it. I decided not to take the organ meat, only the meat. I also dropped all my wild boar organ meat. I reached the labyrinth later. The minotaur and I fought. It was a hard battle, and all but one of my companions died. Even he lost a hand. Then I kicked it in the head and it died. My foot was slashed and I cannot walk. Hopefully it will heal. I rested in the labyrinth for a short time. My foot healed and I set off. I slept by a river.
14th Galena, 125
I reached a fort, but there was no lord or lady! I went to the next fort and talked to the lord. He told me to kill a minotaur to the north. I reached the labyrinth at nightfall. This minotaur was a strange one. "Can I show you my coin collection?" he said, "It is almost finished." I said no and killed him. I was curious so I want over to the center of the labyrinth. There was a huge pile of various coins and body parts. I left and slept in a nearby town.
15th Galena, 125
I recruited a new companion because she asked me if she could come with me. I went back to the keep and the lord said to kill a necromancer warlord to the south. I've never fought a necromancer before. On the way there we were attacked by bandits. One of my companions was killed and the other was horribly wounded and died later. A crossbowman shot me in the head but it didn't kill me. I stopped at a village to recruit four more companions. I went to the camp and fought the necromancer. He was holding his slab and it looked really heavy to me. He was really good at dodging my attacks and it took a while to kill him.
Before he died, he said something very strange. "I used to be a swordsmaster like you," he said. "I traveled the world, killing the evils of the world. But the I found this slab. It told me the secrets of life and death. Finally I see the meaning of everything. The monsters you slay only want to be left alone. Like me, for example. These are my companions. I just wanted to build a tower and live in peace. But the rulers of the world told you to kill me, even though I have done nothing wrong. Lay down your sword and start a family. There lies the true happiness. Not in the death of others, but in the life of your friends and family." Then he died.
I know what I must do. I took off my clothes and put his on instead. I picked up his slab and went to the nearest village. One of my companions survived, a crossbowwoman. She and I went to an empty house. I set down the slab on a table and put my pack and armor under it. I hung my sword and shield on the wall from convenient hooks. I sat down in a chair and relaxed. I think I'll stay here.
THUS ENDS THE ADVENTURES OF FLAME KOFIBUDO IQUISESTAH ASA... FOR NOW
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