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Author Topic: Sad endings to stories: how do I deal with my feels?  (Read 1938 times)

kaijyuu

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Re: Sad endings to stories: how do I deal with my feels?
« Reply #15 on: January 16, 2014, 05:29:30 pm »

Quote
If/when I experience an unwanted emotion, I have learned how to silence it; I override by reminding myself that emotions and sensations only serve a purpose when they are useful, and emotions over fictional characters have no such purpose to service. I can then "detatch". Emotions and sensations over real people or things are more tricky though. Needs more complex reason to banish. (...Emotions can be such troublesome noise.) It isn't so much "repressing" the emotion, so much as accepting it is there, and then tuning it out. Kinda like tuning out loud conversationalists at dinner. It is.. very unsettling for me to experience an emotional reaction that I cannot control.

In a relationship? Because this sounds like the rational explanation guys give to women when they're trying to divorce them from negative emotions. The message is typically never received well.
It also seems like a horribly unhealthy thing to do, so...
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Quote from: Chesterton
For, in order that men should resist injustice, something more is necessary than that they should think injustice unpleasant. They must think injustice absurd; above all, they must think it startling. They must retain the violence of a virgin astonishment. When the pessimist looks at any infamy, it is to him, after all, only a repetition of the infamy of existence. But the optimist sees injustice as something discordant and unexpected, and it stings him into action.

wierd

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Re: Sad endings to stories: how do I deal with my feels?
« Reply #16 on: January 16, 2014, 05:39:32 pm »

That's why I mentioned that threads like this one make me question my humanity kaijyuu.

It isn't that I experience it strongly, and go "this makes me feel like shit-- into the neurosis bin you go!", it's more like "damn, the neighbors are having another loud party again. Time to tune it out."

Something external, rather than internal.

To me, emotions are a mostly external thing. For most people, emotions appear to be a decidedy internal thing.

This difference, and being reminded of it, makes me have strange lines of thought about why that is.

To me, the problem the OP is describing is "alien".
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Tylui

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Re: Sad endings to stories: how do I deal with my feels?
« Reply #17 on: January 16, 2014, 06:22:02 pm »

Wierd is questioning his humanity, because I'm pretty sure he's Vulcan. It is only logical.

For reals though, I relate to this great amount of stoicism, in that I admire and desire it greatly... I was able to achieve it for awhile, but for me, it meant detaching from positive emotions, too, and I can't handle that without getting all existential-crisisey and shtuff. I settled with allowing myself to feel the feelings but always try to respond in the physical world with rational actions
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wierd

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Re: Sad endings to stories: how do I deal with my feels?
« Reply #18 on: January 16, 2014, 06:37:15 pm »

Damnit! That vulcan from Enterprise that stayed on 1940s earth has done gone and screwed up my genepool!

No wonder when I go on ancestry.com and try to see who my gandad's parents were it comes back "private"!

It's a conspiracy to hide my alien ancestry from me!

(LOL! Tinfoil hattery is such fun!)
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Skyrunner

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Re: Sad endings to stories: how do I deal with my feels?
« Reply #19 on: January 16, 2014, 07:38:53 pm »

....
If/when I experience an unwanted emotion, I have learned how to silence it; I override by reminding myself that emotions and sensations only serve a purpose when they are useful, and emotions over fictional characters have no such purpose to service. I can then "detatch".
Ctrl-a d

 ..

* Skyrunner lets self out
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misko27

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Re: Sad endings to stories: how do I deal with my feels?
« Reply #20 on: January 16, 2014, 07:59:00 pm »

On an actual note, it strikes me as incredibly stupid to question your or anyone's humanity. You are human. You are always human, you have always been human, and you will always be human. Whatever you do, for the rest of your life; whatever accomplishments or failures; whatever kindnesses or crimes; whatever theories or philosophies; whatever you do or don't do, will never make you anything more or less then a human being. Nothing. You are as human as a garbage collector, a politician, an acrobat, a murderer, a teacher, a hobo.

I think perhaps it is just lack of imagination. Rather then try to arbitrarily decide things as human simply because most humans do it and one doesn't, perhaps realize that the definition is expansive enough to include both. Realize that, in fact, the very fact that someone is doing it makes it a human thing to do. Rather, you don't seem to get quite how alien people can seem; how different our own species while remaining very much our species. I for one am perfectly capable of simply thinking certain feelings out of existence. But I haven't always been, and I can easily imagine how it must be for others.

Anyway, as others said, this is a good sad. Unless you literally can't deal with it. Then I suggest counseling.
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wierd

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Re: Sad endings to stories: how do I deal with my feels?
« Reply #21 on: January 16, 2014, 08:07:44 pm »

I was referring more to the "Inhuman monster" archetype, which is basically defined as a human being, doing decidedly inhuman things. That's part of what makes the person monsterous.

This then makes a clear case that society ascribes such appellations to persons who behave radically outside the societal norm; while the behavior CLEARLY *is* a human behavior, since a human is doing it, it is sufficiently far from the norm that it appears alien to the majority, and causes the reactionary apellation to be applied.

"Humanity" was being used figuratively.

More accurately, I was pointing out that I have noticed that my behavior is incongruent with the norm, that the situation with the OP is a curious one to me that seems a no-brainer, but that I acknowledge that my coping mechanism may not really be applicable, and that this realisation has philosophical implications for me.

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Caz

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Re: Sad endings to stories: how do I deal with my feels?
« Reply #22 on: January 16, 2014, 10:34:02 pm »

Anyhow, how do I deal with my feels? They are tearing me up inside. Using the Futurama episode "Jurassic Bark" as a base measurement, this is like 20 Seymours of sad (for me at any rate).

If you have problems like this you need real problems...
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smurfingtonthethird

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Re: Sad endings to stories: how do I deal with my feels?
« Reply #23 on: January 16, 2014, 10:57:41 pm »

I have holidays for now, so my problems are coming by the hordes in a couple of weeks.
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RIP Moot ;-;7 Sigtext!

Lectorog

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Re: Sad endings to stories: how do I deal with my feels?
« Reply #24 on: January 16, 2014, 11:15:21 pm »

16 year old spotted
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Lectorog

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Re: Sad endings to stories: how do I deal with my feels?
« Reply #25 on: January 16, 2014, 11:25:45 pm »

My sad feels from books and things tend to be unusual.

They make me feel sad, but in a sort of... good way. Generally, this means I can let myself go into them and not spiral into some sort of depression.
If the feelings aren't consuming you, you're able to look over them and appreciate them. The feelings from a work of fiction aren't going to consume you.
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