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Author Topic: Dwarf drama  (Read 1294 times)

doublestrafe

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Dwarf drama
« on: January 01, 2014, 10:12:36 pm »

I just got an announcement that Domas Saziramost had been missing for a week, so I paused it and tracked him down in a bed in the bedroom complex. Guess I've got a vampire. Oh, hey, someone's there!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Wait, he's been missing a week, so Cerol can't be the vampire! What are you doing in that bed, then?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh. You're sleeping. Yeah, definitely not the vampire. Does that mean you're his wife, and about to get really upset when you wake up?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Uh.

Okay. So. Uh. You're in a bed ... that's not yours ... with this guy who isn't your husband ... and who has been sucked to death by a vampire while you both slept ... and you're about to wake up and ... gosh.

Did I just stumble into a deleted scene from season 7 of Buffy?
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Sutremaine

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Re: Dwarf drama
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2014, 10:32:47 pm »

Well, she hasn't noticed he's there, because he's listed Missing and not Deceased. She did however notice that there was an unowned bed available...

...You know, this is only raising more questions.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

BlackFlyme

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Re: Dwarf drama
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2014, 10:42:34 pm »

They may have been sharing the bed before the vampire came in, or whatever it was that killed Domas.

Just how bad is the bed situation in your fort? Dwarves will avoid sharing beds if it's possible.
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doublestrafe

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Re: Dwarf drama
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2014, 11:24:17 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Cerol just woke up, went on break, and wandered two rooms down to hang out in what is in fact her and her husband's own bedroom. That's her on the bottom right. She never noticed the corpse in the bed.

Meanwhile, Ast Urdimfikod, north of Cerol, walked from the left side of the hall to the right, also without seeing Domas. Perhaps the vampire shoved him under the bed.
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Monk321654

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Re: Dwarf drama
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2014, 12:38:27 am »

Get one of your dwarves to remove the bed, and see if that changes anything.

This'll be funny, a dwarf lifting a bed off the floor and finding a corpse beneath.
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

Iceblaster

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Re: Dwarf drama
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2014, 04:57:28 am »

This'll be funny, a dwarf lifting a bed off the floor and finding a corpse beneath.

"Who left this here?"

"I swear it wasn't me"

[insert axe to the face]

EvilBob22

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Re: Dwarf drama
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2014, 11:43:54 am »

It isn't necessarily a vampire, it could have been dying from an infection or something.  Also, instead of removing the bed, try marking one of the pieces of clothing for dumping, they should notice the body then.  (And if that doesn't work, set the body itself to be dumped, they will definitely notice it then.)
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I will run the experiment to completion anyway, however. Even if the only reason why there is a punctured equilibrium in the fortress is because I have been brutally butchering babies
EDIT: I just remembered that dwarves can't equip halberds. That might explain why the squads that use them always die.

guitarxe

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Re: Dwarf drama
« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2014, 02:40:01 pm »

And if that doesn't work, set the body itself to be dumped, they will definitely notice it then.
What if the dwarf that get assigned the haul job is blind?
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wierd

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Re: Dwarf drama
« Reply #8 on: January 02, 2014, 03:06:08 pm »

...

The truly sick, and twisted explanation:

The bed surfing dorfette is in fact a necrophiliac, has managed to score herself her own private corpse lover, and is keeping it a secret. (Because, DAMN.)

(That scene from TES:Oblivion comes to mind.)
« Last Edit: January 02, 2014, 03:10:11 pm by wierd »
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CaptainArchmage

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Re: Dwarf drama
« Reply #9 on: January 02, 2014, 11:54:41 pm »

I just got an announcement that Domas Saziramost had been missing for a week, so I paused it and tracked him down in a bed in the bedroom complex. Guess I've got a vampire. Oh, hey, someone's there!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Wait, he's been missing a week, so Cerol can't be the vampire! What are you doing in that bed, then?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh. You're sleeping. Yeah, definitely not the vampire. Does that mean you're his wife, and about to get really upset when you wake up?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Uh.

Okay. So. Uh. You're in a bed ... that's not yours ... with this guy who isn't your husband ... and who has been sucked to death by a vampire while you both slept ... and you're about to wake up and ... gosh.

Did I just stumble into a deleted scene from season 7 of Buffy?

Over in Moltenchannels, I started my year with a dwarf skeleton in someone's bed. The year ended with the same dwarf skeleton still in the same bed. I never actually reported on that, but thanks for reminding me.
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MrsStick

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Re: Dwarf drama
« Reply #10 on: January 04, 2014, 07:26:32 pm »

Did anyone else pick up that her name is "Hopefulcopper"? As in, she's hopefully copping a feel on the corpse?
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My hubby got me into DF...then abandoned his for MineCraft.
Husband has been possessed!
I'm sorry your husband had a strange mood and ended up making a useless trinket out of useless materials without gaining any experience in the process.