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Author Topic: Epic Death of a Newb  (Read 550 times)

PABadger

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Epic Death of a Newb
« on: December 27, 2013, 03:00:43 pm »

So I had my trusty adventurer Urist Bearbolts out trying to cross a badlands to reach a town, but the town is pretty far away and he has to spend the night out of doors. Strangely, no cackling is heard, rather, simply the howling of a pack of four wolves.
Urist is a marksdwarf, and he's got nowhere to run. The wolves are on him in one move, and since they're in close, he can't shoot. So he lays about him, bludgeoning and kicking. He's mauled pretty badly very fast, ribs broken, heavy bleeding, arteries cut...the works. He clubs two of them to death, and then the wolves bite his hands. Nerves are severed, and he drops his crossbow.
I think about just quitting, but then I keep going, thinking, he's bleeding like a pig, he's winded, hungry, and thirsty, it won't take long.
He kicks the other two wolves to death. Yes, kicks. After seven pages of combat, he emerges victorious.
I've got "mortal wound" on my screen, he gets winded after a couple of steps unless I crawl, and he can't hold anything in either hand. What the heck, I'll try to go as far as I can.
He proceeds to stagger/crawl for another day. I'm starting to think, hey, I can get to the town, cache his gear, and retire him. And then more howls are heard. Four more wolves hit him.
After three pages of combat, he finally suffocates. From broken ribs. After killing another wolf with his teeth.

I'm in the process of mounting an expedition to go get his body so it can be buried with honors at the first fortress I build.

Anybody else got an epic death sequence to share?
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Bumber

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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?