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Author Topic: Great Books of the Necro-Canon  (Read 1573 times)

doomyoshi

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Great Books of the Necro-Canon
« on: November 13, 2013, 12:21:20 am »

Introduction:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Note from the publisher:
I found these encyclopedic tomes whilst digging. Surprisingly, they are in English, with some funny words. It seems to be an anthology collection of literature. I am just here providing the editorial comments for now. The full works are also included, and may be of some further scholarly research.

-Yoshi

Collection 1: Writings from the Age of Myth (1 - 121 AoM)
Book 1
A collection of writing by Emung Acegrips, often called the Mother of Literature
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
--------------------

The next book, Book 2, deals with the writings of Asu, the Father of Necromancy, Captain of the Stormy Satins, founder of Soundedbells, and possessor of the Obsidian Slab, Youthful Belches.


Book 2
A collection of writing by Asu Bulbousgift, the Father of Necromancy, Captain of the Stormy Satins, founder of Soundedbells, and possessor of the Obsidian Slab, Youthful Belches.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: November 22, 2013, 04:10:50 am by doomyoshi »
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BinaryBeast1010011010

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Re: Great Books of the Necro-Canon
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2013, 11:39:52 am »

I enjoyed reading it, PTW keep these coming :)
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cant stop playing DF?
 : (){ :|:& };:

Appelgren

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Re: Great Books of the Necro-Canon
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2013, 05:57:48 pm »

Great stuff. I especially liked "The Human Questioned".
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k33n

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Re: Great Books of the Necro-Canon
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2013, 01:30:54 am »

There needs to be more of this.
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chevil

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Re: Great Books of the Necro-Canon
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2013, 03:16:30 am »

Thank you Yoshi. Please post some more.
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doomyoshi

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Re: Great Books of the Necro-Canon
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2013, 04:51:47 pm »

I'll try to do one a week.
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doomyoshi

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Re: Great Books of the Necro-Canon
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2013, 12:02:39 am »

Book 2
A collection of writing by Asu Bulbousgift, the Father of Necromancy, Captain of the Stormy Satins, founder of Soundedbells, and possessor of the Obsidian Slab, Youthful Belches.
[spoiler]
Part 1: The Hills Trilogy
Asu in a literary sense is completely different from Asu the political figure. His writing has always been witty and clever and many style guides use Asu as the exemplary human writer.

His first series of works was a trilogy of dialogs. They are extremely short, and to this day remain funny. 500 years ago some humans decided to perform them as they were written. Since then, many derivative works have been performed, but here we include only the originals.

The Spotted Roar and the City   (66)
This dialog is between the character Asu and the character Ijam, who speaks for the city Shotbored (capital of the Girlish Confederations). The real Ijam Webbedsoars was the original Holy Gorge of the Turqoise Communion. It is very likely that Asu wrote this as a way to mock one of his contemporaries. Asu did not realize that Ijam had already been dead for nearly 30 years, so the joke is a bit tasteless. The Sanctuary of Coal had also been nearly 30 years razed. Asu pokes fun at the Turqoise Communion, as well as the decisions of the city founders.

Quote
A: Oh, Holy Gorge, thee of the Turqoise Communion;

I: Yes

A: thee who rules the Girlins from thine Sanctuary of Coal;

I: Yes

A:thee who speaks to Uzin, the Turqoise Gem of Avalanches, God of Medals and saviour of Shotbored

I: Yes

A:thee who convinceth the town to build and build

I: Yes, what do you want?

A:Nothing.

I: I am busy, please come back later.

A: thee who is the wisest of the wisest

I:...


A: thee who invited the kobolds to town

I : Excuse me?

A: Bless you, you are now bles-sed, oh bles-sed one.

I: How did I invite the kobolds?

A: Were you not present at the building committee for Brigandecho the Branded Hollows?

I: I'll have you know I chaired the committee.

A: So you started a committee with the sole express purpose of inviting kobolds to town.

I: The committee was for building Brigandecho, one of the finest examples of Syrupine architecture.

A: The committee was for building Brigandecho, one of the finest examples of kobold invitation.

I: That's not true.

A: Is there or is there not a kobold and his gang living in Brigandecho?

I: There is, but we didn't invite him.

A: Then who did?

I: Nobody invited him.

A: Why did he move in then?

I: He must've liked the scenery.

A: Do you know why he liked the scenery?

I: No.

A: I'll tell you why. It's because he is a kobold, and do you know what type of scenery kobolds like? The catacomb type. So, unless you can give me an alternate explanation for why you built a catacombs downtown in our G-L-O-R-I-O-U-S capital, I am forced to assume that you did it strictly to invite him.

I: We did it because the town needed catacombs.

A: What are catacombs for?

I: Cats, and combs.

A: Curiously enough, we don't have cats. Dogs, rabbits, chickens, pompous asses, check. Cats, zilch.


This opening perfectly illustrates the tone of the rest of the dialog. The rest of the dialog continues to berate Ijam. After the relatively mundane humor about local politics, Asu turns his gaze towards Uzin himself! He ponders why the people should worship a gem and wonders why the God of Avalanches is something to admire. "Avalanches kill people, isn't that something we should try to avoid?" and the ultimate conclusion is this:
Quote
A: You have shown yourself to be a man of character, and a man of intellect. Of how much I shall not say. For 4 long years I have served as law-giver here. For 4 toilsome years I did the ranging. Before I used force of argument to prove that we needed a law-giver, I sat in a community where only one voice mattered - yours. I am tired of listening to your voice. I am tired of enforcing your laws. I am tired of risking my life to serve you. My life is the most important thing in the world to me. Goodbye.   

For the next three years, The Spotted Roar and the City was the most transcribed and read work of literature. It was quickly spread among the mountainhomes, and the fame attracted many dwarves to Shotbored. Today there are 1832 dwarves and only 628 humans, so it has become a very respectable city indeed. Brigandecho itself has been lost for 300 years, no doubt buried somewhere around the city.

Stupid Hills (71)
19 page dialog
This is considered by many to be a lesser work, but it has its moments of cleverness. The second part of the trilogy, during the time that Asu carried the Obsidian Slab with him everywhere. He is trying to master the secrets of life and death, so he retreats to the hills. The hills around Shotbored are the Hills of Distraction. Since they were too distracting, he left to go to the Hills of Focus, which are to the southwest, near the center of the continent. Here he is trying to focus, but a cast of characters bothers him.

While he is at the brook Justicefondled, a groundhog comes and questions him about Justice. He wrestles it. While he is at the brook Guildburdens, the Gill of Razors, a group of cougars invites him to join their guild. He escapes by holding his breath until they leave (they are afraid of water). While he is at the brook The Pointy Confusion, a pack of rhesus macaques riding wolves ask him riddles. He outriddles them. The story is told entirely while he is talking to a hedgehog, who claims the story sounds made up.

Reading this dialog leaves no mystery as to why Asu returned to the Hills of Distraction to found Soundedbells.

And I sang 'The Region!' (72)
26 page dialog

The typical account is that the third book of the trilogy is not only the worst, but one of the worst pieces of writing of all time. I am including it here not only for completeness, but also because I feel the typical account is unjust. The general consensus is that it meanders somewhat and skips around a lot. It is said that the humor which made the trilogy, and made the second passable is not present in this one. It is claimed that it was written too hastily, and it was rushed to print to make money for the tower. These arguments all have some inaccuracies.

The meandering, and the lack of humor, is due to Asu experimenting with a different voice. He wrote the Spotted Roar first, and after the popularity of that died down, he thought of a perfect pair of titles to extend the story to a trilogy. Both this and Stupid Hills were thought of at the same time, and he was working on both simultaneously. The concept was that the series would show maturity of character, so the change of tone was a necessary artistic choice.

It is true that the dwarven publisher paid him handsomely for these books. The publisher did not want to do the 30 page epic finale he had planned, so they chopped out 4 pages of material and that accounts for the skipping.   

The material concerns a time before he started animating. He is talking to a horse, and telling him why he must leave these hills immediately and never return. The horse lets him know about the goblins in the area, and that he is not ready for him to leave yet. They discuss botany and geology briefly, and the horse says he will return one day.

-----------------------------------------------------------


Uncanny Human (95)
46 page guide

The entire tower of Soundedbells worked on collecting information on this wonderful reference book. The tower was operating smoothly, and the necromancers were turning to studying the realms from which they came, to see what had happened since they left. Of course, Asu and Emung both being of the Girlish Confederates, this was the first major project. To this day, the information is being updated every 100 years or so.

Below are some excerpts, as well as the modern edition.

Quote
In 26, the Group of Gripping formed Rocksthin, on the coast, near a river. The population was mainly farmers and hunters. Now there is a substantial fishery. There were problems with cave spiders

In 52, the Society of Aquamarines founded RiddleLove, a farming hamlet. A goblin lived there.

Quote
International City Index Number (ICIN):16 HH*
Common Name:Rocksthin
Proper Name:Urisac
Year Founded: 26
Group/Civ: Group of Gripping/The Girlish Confederations
Latest Census Data:
        48 humans
   13 cats
   26 cavies
   13 chickens
   24 water buffalos
Notes: Vampirism strongly suspected; rampant racism

ICIN: 107 HH*
Common Name:Riddlelove
Proper Name:Gigolsana
Year Founded: 52
Group/Civ: The Society of Aquamarines/The Girlish Confederations
Latest Census Data:
        52 humans
   24 reindeer
   26 rabbits
   14 ducks
   14 cats
Notes: Vampirism strongly suspected; rampant racism
*HH stands for Human Hamlet
As can be seen, the human hamlets are becoming similar to each other. The vampire threat will need to be dealt with, which is why understanding rural life is so important to us necromancers.

The Confining Labyrinths and the Humans (112)
23 page dialog

Near the end of the Age of Myth, Asu wrote another dialog about the Girlish Confederations. He showed a great return to his previous form. The characters are Maple, Table and Simple, and they are discussing the way the world was simpler when the Council of Syrups was the main group in the Girlish Confederations. One of the most-quoted sections is:

Quote
S: So, of course we needed Skirthops [the fortress]. Somebody had to watch over the rest of the hamlets founded by the Whiskered, Chaste Councils of Wax and Beaches; of Deified, Sprayed, Deep, Still Society of Dabbling, Aquamarines and Wines; of Leafy Fellowship of Crested Occult-Councils; of Stable, Mahogany,Defended, Beige and Slippery Coalition of Deifying, Clutching, Ravens, Tatooing and Bottles of the Brilliant League of Apexes, Praises and Games of the First, Splattered, Glowing, Mysterious Group of Guards, Lulling, Gripping, Griffons and Gloss of the Ignited Band  of Visionaries and Rasps of the Council of Touch and Confusion.

M: Is there really such a group?

S: No, but I find the names confusing, and that simple system helps me remember them. I also remember the hamlet names by my simple rhyme:
Platemythstellkingdomswavesatinbeachvirginstundraordersjokedhailsplayspeechesfuturekegshowlcrowdedlarkflukesscooplegendmassiveplungesrenownclutchbreechescherishescloutedcudgelspirittusksonecreednightflingroughnessrubbedtomesbentsilkysyrupslimefellauthorsimplefairlemonsshowerpinescloutconjuredhumhelpwhitespeechlesscarminesiegedflashhealerthreeclashblazesstasislilacsvisefathertwinklerhymewatersplatedglossriddlelovegranitemergedhuggedblossomedplateroiledslipodorsrocksthincreamscottagegemidolleopardthimble

T: Why on Earth do they permit so many hamlets?
   

To the modern reader, especially one familiar with the dwarven and human civilizations, will realize how hilarious this is, since we now have seen groups being created at the same rate for the last 900 years. All the good farming land has been occupied. Even worse is the consideration that almost all the towns are vampire controlled. 

-----------------------------------------------------------
the Letters

Untitled (102)
1 page letter

Quote
Dear, Sweetest and Most Beloved Lega Overgrave,

Now that you have joined the ranks of the intelligent, I would like to give you a copy of what is widely considered the greatest written work of all time. The Spotted Roar and the City is the first dialog ever written. I wrote it shortly after establishing my tower, an action I noticed you have copied.

The original is kept here in my tower, and is bound in gray langur leather. I'm into leather, I guess you could say. I also sometimes dabble in binding. Around here they call me Master, you could also, if you wanted.

The story is about my home-town, Shotbored. I was bored and didn't want to be shot, so I left. Are you bored? I can entertain you for a bit, if only you would visit my castle and look at my book.

When reading, I like to spread the pages wide and penetrate them deeply. Sometimes I even rub my hands along the beautiful leather binding. This excites me even more as to the contents. As we say in Soundedbells, the prettier the cover, the tastier the book.   

Ready? I am,
Asu Bulbousgift

PS: Allow me to present you with a bulbous gift.   

It may be a bit personal, but nobody knows how Lega replied. She was the founder of Lipdead, the second Necro-Tower.

Untitled (108)
6 page letter

This is a letter that Asu wrote about himself to Lega. It is the closest thing to an autobiography he had written up to this point, so we include it fully below [not really].
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following work is not included in this collection, but must be mentioned as a footnote:
Better Desecration (81)
34 page essay

This essay is about Asu's first major Reanimation, when he reanimated the Goblin Raider Zolak Coilscourges, who had one notable and 38 other kills. Unfortunately, it meanders hopelessly. It isn't a great piece on reanimation, or on Zolak, or on goblins, or on much of anything.




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doomyoshi

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Re: Great Books of the Necro-Canon
« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2013, 12:03:58 am »

it's not as cleanly edited as i would like, but i was working on it for days and wanted to just get it up. will clean-up/edit tomorrow.
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Armok

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Re: Great Books of the Necro-Canon
« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2013, 12:21:11 am »

I'm loving these.
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So says Armok, God of blood.
Sszsszssoo...
Sszsszssaaayysss...
III...

JimiD

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Re: Great Books of the Necro-Canon
« Reply #9 on: November 23, 2013, 02:07:48 pm »

Really good, very funny.
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doomyoshi

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Re: Great Books of the Necro-Canon
« Reply #10 on: November 25, 2013, 01:25:37 pm »

I've got some good news and some bad news.

the good news is that when I redownloaded Dwarf Fortress and got rid of most the mods  [i only kept therapist], I successfully transferred the save file over. Legends doesn't seem like it is affected by graphics packs I guess. If there are any problems, i am still keeping the old game around and i switch stuff back over.

the bad news is that i am now entering exams and won't be doing one a week. i am hoping to do one in december and one after the holidays.

if anyone else wants to try a crack at it, i can send the savefiles over, and we can make the first-ever Legends Succession mode. Also, i recently learned about Legends Viewer mod that seems a lot easier. So, one book will go from being a 6 hour project to a much shorter one.
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