Locate a pillow. Stuff it onto Joe's face to shut him up.
Make the machine that will analyze the crystal.
(5 vs. 2) You shove a pillow onto Joe's face and start smothering him. Then Jaeger Vaulk attacks you and sends you sprawling on the ground!
Jaeger Vaulk is now your rival!YOU GRUMPY OLD GIT!!! I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAVE THE WORLD!!!
Complain loudly, try to remove crystals from self
(5) After yelling at Joe who is covered by a pillow you start trying to remove crystals from your body. (4-1) You realize this would be easier if you weren't in your rock form. (1-1) And you collapse unconscious
again.
Cool. Obtain lots of other snakes in the meantime - there should be sufficient confusion to do so. Escape quickly! Though I'm not, strictly speaking, a bad guy, I doubt that the store owner will see it that way.
You take advantage of the confusion to find lots of snakes. You suddenly spot a snake costumed man leading an army of snakes through the streets and lots of people screaming.
"Now you're awake! Get back to your normal fleshy body before hauling you around breaks all of my backs!"
Assist Sidereal with not dying.
(6) You yell at sidereal, but then she falls unconscious again. You decide that getting Joe to wake her up is the best idea and attack GWG. (6 vs. 2) You punch GWG to the ground.
None of this matters, because (1) there's a huge explosion in the center of the city, vaporizing everything in its path and killing everyone in the city. The US government receives a message from a robot declaring that this was his doing, and is only the beggining....
(Sorry, but this was steadily losing interest from me and other players, but I wanted some closure on this officially. Alternatively, if someone wants to take over as GM they can.)