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[Aeax]

Soo, my problem right now is that I'm a very socially awkward kinda guy with very little prospects for the future having very few friends and little confidence in myself. I want to know how to improve myself, since I've sorta lost the ability to really direct myself.

I've thought about this many times, but I think the problem started a few years ago when I moved. Back then, I did have a big group of friends, but my family moved to another town. Unfortunately, my friends and I kept in very little contact. I remember msn chatting with them a few months after we moved. However, things changed and eventually that was dropped. My parents weren't in favor of driving me all the way there to meet up with them. Today, my former friends and I are very distant. I think if I were to hang out with them today, things would be very different because of not only our lack of experiences together, but also my new found social awkwardness.

After moving and going to a new school I found it very difficult to make new friends. In retrospect, I feel that I was a bit snobby when I moved to my new town, looking down on the kids for their different tastes and experiences. Such as things like soccer were a big thing where I came from, whereas basketball was the norm there. Oh, we got along just fine had jokes and whatnot, but I never really developed "good friends" like what I had in my previous town. In fact, it was only this year that I ever went to any of their houses. I think the thing that kept me back was my hope that I would eventually move back to my former town and get back with my friends. Instead, I was in isolation for the most part of 3 years.

Added to that was my own difficulties in the social area. I think I was more outgoing then, but nowadays, I'm very quiet and self-conscience. Among acquaintances (such as at school, or with my parent's friends), I feel I'm often ignored when I do speak up. Usually I don't have anything worthwhile to add to the conversations which revolve around topics that don't interest me or I have very little knowledge in, and saying anything would make me look really silly. I have a slight lisp and a weak voice from lack of use, and when I do speak I usually stagger in my words. I'm in no way charismatic or emotional in how I speak, and I usually speak in a monotone. I feel people find how I talk is very boring. When in conversation, I usually start sweating trying to find the words to say and find I stammer when I do say them. I think because of my lack of experience with life, I find I have nothing to say.

Thankfully, for a couple years I have had one friend who I've hanged out with which has prevented me from being a total recluse. Admittedly, I feel that he is my last friend that I truly, well, "be friends" with, you know, hang out with and stuff like that. I find hanging out with other people becomes very awkward for me and them, since I usually struggle in finding ways to entertain them.

Regarding my confidence that was previously mentioned, this was completely destroyed when I took homeschooling for a year. Which, to say in short, was a complete failure, and I am now spending another year to finally graduate from school. When returning to school, my grades which were usually As or Bs were reduced to Cs as I found priorities in my vain effort to make better friends.

I'm asking for advice how I can improve my life, since I'm kind lost right now on what to do.

[Vector]

Take a theater class.

[Knight of Fools]

Read books out loud when you're home alone. Practice speaking from your diaphragm (the stomach area). When you're home alone, talk to yourself out loud. Get a microphone and talk to people online. If it's your thing, look for a group of people you can play games with, especially table top games.

As for not having anything to say in conversations, browse Reddit, Wikipedia, Cracked (I know, it's a humor website, but they have some interesting stuff in there), and other places where you can learn new stuff. Heck, Reddit is a surprisingly good resource for self-improvement. Just don't take everything too seriously there.

Find something that interests you, even just a little bit. Drawing, music, programming, whatever. Practice it daily. Carry a notebook around with you to doodle in. The Internet is a huge repository of how to learn a variety of skills. Once you get good at these things, you'll gain confidence.

Figure out where you want to be in life, long-term. Do you want a nice job? A nice house? A family? Friends? A city life? Country life? Build your own mansion? Figure out what you'll need to do in order to get there, and work towards it. Learn the skills necessary, and make yourself self-sufficient. Make contacts in the direction you want to go.


Accept who you are, even the stuff you don't like. You don't have to like a particular aspect of yourself to accept that it's a part of you - And once you've acknowledged it, you'll be able to work on improving it rather than ignoring it and hoping it'll go away. Once you accept what you are and continually work towards self-improvement, others will begin to accept who you are and you'll find it easier to make friends. Remember, the goal of talking with people isn't to entertain them, befriend them, or please them in some way - It's for the sake of talking. Enjoy the conversation even if there's a quiet moment or you say something stupid, don't worry about what the end result will be.

It's the same with anything else you do: Enjoy the action itself, and don't stress the goal. Goals won't always be reached, but you can still have fun working towards them if reaching them isn't what determines your happiness and self worth. Reaching helps, but it won't be the end of the world if that person you're interested in dating shows no interest in you. That doesn't mean you can't enjoy talking with them.


Life is as easy as you make it out to be. Happiness isn't a requirement for your life and shouldn't be seen as a goal in and of itself, it's just a result of doing what you want to do.