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Author Topic: Feeling that reality isn't as good as fiction. Request experience and advice.  (Read 1327 times)

Sam Polson

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I feel like I need to escape from the reality. Nothing in here is interesting me anymore. I can’t think about anything that will excite me or at least give me some joy. All I was able to come up with – trying to become an escapist. I don’t know how to do it on practice, though but right now for me being drowned in illusions and fully abstract from the reality seems much more tempting, than living my real life.
Does anyone have some experience with that? If so – please, share it with me. Thank you.
And yeah - that's connected directly with MLP: FiM
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Vector

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Actively work to make your life more interesting.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

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TeleDwarf

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Life is boring for many people because they are paralyzed by fear. Indeed, author will not allow a main protagonist(or main antagonist for that matter) just perish in some stupid ordinary way. With video games it is even worse - you die/get crippled(in those games that allow this)/get extremely poor - and you can just start over.
Life is a bit different in this regard: there are very few alleged returns from the dead and a few miraculous healings of cripples. This makes people who live lives envy thos who participate in a fictional activities - heroes/characters...

What you can do though, to make it all a little more spicy (nowhere as spicy as for Iron Man or Urist, who killed titan with a fluffy projectile) you can try to do some stuff that others generally don't. The easiest thing would be to start romance with two or more girls. Or maybe to pick some fights in a bar. Purchase yourself a motorbike. Or maybe, if you are rich enough, a yacht...
I think you see what I am going to: try to get more unconventional experience. Just remember that you are finite, so no restarts for you. Don't get yourself killed.
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Vector

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Or, rather than anything dickish or expensive, you could just, I dunno, do more saying hello to snails and enjoying new cafes.

People feel like an interesting, unusual life has to follow certain rules of conformity.  Like, pretty much there's a sliding scale from zero to Batman, but they don't realize that there's other ways to do new things outside of materialism, womanizing, and violence.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

Urist McScoopbeard

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That sounds suspiciously like french hate Vector!

(sorry! this is a joke btw!)

anyways, in a surprising twist of possibly counter-intuitive advice: Why don't you read some good, long books in a good, long series of them! Maybe that will both satisfy your need to escape and take your mind off this problem.

... Or why don't you try some sports; call together some friends and just go play soccer ('football' for you Europeans) or basketball, or really anything that requires a lot of physical activity and keeps you focused on the game.
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This conversation is getting disturbing fast, disturbingly erotic.

Shook

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I kind of feel that way too, but i don't really fight it, instead i make it "real" by means of art, and accept the benefits of having a hyperactive imagination. Also, standard life being boring is one of the reasons as to why i've taken to becoming an eccentric goofball, because it's way more fun like that. Life without a bit of imagination is just plain dull, especially in the modern machine of life, where you're hastily shoved through education, urged to find a job and then work until you're not fit for working any more, after which you're stowed away in a day-care center until your time comes. It is, however, your own task to make sure you're having a good time along the way, because things like "education" and "job" are really vague things that could involve becoming an accountant, a teacher, an olympic athlete and what not. Think about it: if you CAN'T hang around in fantasyland, what would you rather be doing? Because there will be significant periods of time where you can't hang around in fantasyland without consequences.

Also, maybe do some good ol' adventuring? Like, go to a new place, make sure you can find back, and go explore. Or maybe just go some unusual ways in familiar territory, that can work too. If you want some seriously adventurous stuff, i highly recommend giving Iceland a visit. It's just so otherworldly in some places, sometimes it made my imagination seem dull by comparison!
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Twitter i guess
also deviantART page
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weenog

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An excerpt from a very good self-help book I picked up.



Live in the Real World

Most of us know a few poor souls who, for whatever reason, have difficulty dealing with reality. Their "solution" for this, nine times out of ten, is to construct a world of their own that they find more palatable than the real, actual one. This kind of self-delusion could not be farther from the earnest, reality-loving temperament of a zombie.

Don't think zombies aren't tempted to delude themselves from time to time. Believe me, there are plenty of aspects to a zombie's reality that aren't the easiest to cope with. He's an animated corpse with poor motor control and little to no speech driven onward by a desire that is never satisfied. Those who encounter him either flee or attack with all their might. He is "discriminated" against in virtually every way possible.

What's worse, when a zombie's hungry, he can't just go to the grocery store or the corner market like you and me. It would be nice for him if he could, but it's just not the case. A zombie has to track down living humans and eat their brains.

Despite all of these middling-to-large inconveniences, no zombie has ever chosen to "escape" from his reality into, say, a world of pills or drugs or booze. No zombies have joined religions that promise a better "next life" in the hereafter. You never see zombies joining the SCA or playing role-playing games in which they pretend to be someone else. It might be momentarily tempting, but zombies realize that they have to be where they are. They have to live in the now, regardless of how difficult it might be.

A zombie realizes that the only thing worse than having to grow up and live in the real world is what happens to you if you "decide" not to. You'll have to face reality someday. We all have to. Running from who you are and where you are will only make it worse when the time comes.

Some humans have living situations that are more or less tolerable, but are haunted by things and occurrences from their pasts. These people may look fine and dandy from all outward appearances, but are tortured inside by things that they did (or things that were done to them). They let these things from the past bring them down and make their lives miserable. This behavior is also unacceptable to a zombie. Zombies have difficult pasts too, but it doesn't stop them from getting on with "life".

Think about it. One moment you're lying there a corpse, minding your own business and enjoying the sweet lethe oblivion of the grave, and the next you've been reanimated by some chemicals you've never even heard of, and your life takes a turn you totally didn't expect. You're walking the earth once again under a pretty daunting set of conditions when you'd much rather be napping away in the dirt. Zombies don't waste their time pining over what might have been, however. They accept their situation and move forward (literally), always making the best of things. Always looking ahead -- never backwards. Always searching for the next brain to eat. Always slouching toward the future.

No matter how adverse your current or previous situation, remember these three immutable zombie truths:

You are here.

It is now.


Eating a human brain is the most perfect pleasure imaginable.
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Listen up: making a thing a ‼thing‼ doesn't make it more awesome or extreme.  It simply indicates the thing is on fire.  Get it right or look like a silly poser.

It's useful to keep a ‼torch‼ handy.

Inarius

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I have had two period of my life where i was tempted to live in fiction.

One time when I lived in total superficiality and invented myself another role, a role of seduction or flirt and party, and thinking of NOTHING to not FEEL anymore.
The second time, when I invented myself a world where I took refuge each time I was hurt.

Each time, it has been quite hard to go out of this and become myself again. And even now I am still tempted to come back to this when I am depressed.

The only way to leave depression (for me) was to force me not to speak about it, and force me to make activities with other people while not speaking about it.
With time, I had created myself a world in real life where I was able to live, without speaking again and again of my unhappiness.

Suicide is an "option". But if you do it, you won't ever know if you could have done better. And, generally, people CAN do better.
« Last Edit: July 03, 2013, 09:33:33 am by Inarius »
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Knight of Fools

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There's a careful balance between reality and fiction for those who enjoy a dose of fantasy every once in a while. Letting your imagination grow is an essential part of being happy, so don't think that just because you slip into it more than makes you comfortable means that you have to get rid of it entirely.

The best advice I can give is to just enjoy whatever moment you're in, and seek out experiences that are fun despite their simplicity. Don't slip into the trap of not enjoying talking with a friend or family member when you'd rather be slaying dragons and saving kingdoms in Nonexistia. This affects your friends as much as it does you, and it will slowly sap the color and enjoyment out of your life.


Enjoy the small things. Enjoy walking to and from the bus stop. Enjoy the ride to work or school. Focus on the moment, the journey, not the end result or the fantasy of what could be. Rather than thinking, "I really want this person to date me", think, "I really enjoy spending time with this person". Having a preconceived Best Case Scenario will make anything else that happens insignificant in comparison. When you could be enjoying having a new best friend, you're wrapped up in how your new best friend said that they didn't want to date you right now.

That's a romantic example, but it can be applied to just about everything you regret. Look for the silver lining, even if it's just a lighter shade of dark humor.


A lot of people recommend doing thrilling or dangerous things. This may work for some folks, but the heart of these suggestions lie in being more like an animal. Not literally, of course: The big difference between humans and animals is that animals live in the moment. They don't worry about what could or could not be, and they don't regret the past. They learn from their past and sometimes even plan for the future, but their perceptions aren't colored by wanting things to be different.

Enjoy life like an animal does: Just sit back and enjoy all the sensations that your body is going through, including the negative ones but especially the good ones. Look for the good in everything you do, even if it appears to be a complete failure on the surface. You'll find that instead of replacing or diminishing the power of your fantasies, your fantasies will become more pleasant and palatable. They'll be less of an escape and more of a past time that's colored brightly with your recent experiences.

Not only that, you'll find that your fantasies take a more natural place in your life. Rather than something that you seek out, your imagination will seek you out. Your daydreams will come naturally. Don't try to summon them or repress them.

Fantasy has a place in our lives, but we shouldn't let it override enjoying our lives.
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jakeread1

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I recommend packing a backpack of food, water, other things you'd take on a hike. Go to the nearest forest, and hike around until it starts getting dark then head home. It works pretty well for me.
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Glloyd

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I recommend packing a backpack of food, water, other things you'd take on a hike. Go to the nearest forest, and hike around until it starts getting dark then head home. It works pretty well for me.

Seconded. Except I'd make it a canoe trip.

scrdest

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I recommend packing a backpack of food, water, other things you'd take on a hike. Go to the nearest forest, and hike around until it starts getting dark then head home. It works pretty well for me.

So, kids, remember, anytime you're depressed, you can turn to help to Bay12, whose forumers will be glad to tell you to take a hike!

Anyways, is this thread related to the other one? The situation is very similar, except the poster in the other one had this problem with his friend.
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We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.