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[DreamThorn]

For whatever reasons, I missed the part of my life where I'm supposed to start falling in love and having relationships etc.

Now, quite a bunch of years later, I have become far more normal through varied means.  And I think social pressure is making me want to join in on "normal person life".  This would include such things as having a significant other, and dating.

I am very confused, and I know it's supposed to be confusing, but I'm not getting any younger, and I think hearing other people's opinions could help me get through the confusion faster, even if I have to take everything with a pinch of salt.

What I need to know is how friendship, dating, love, physical attraction, mental attraction and sex connect to each other.  I think some of these happen before others, and are supposed to cause others, but I don't really see how.

Also, making things more complicated, I think I might be in love already, but maybe not really.  I once read an article on ways for a woman to be certain that a man is in love with her, and I'm pretty much showing all the signs (she's on my mind all the time, I could chat hours with her without noticing, I open up to her, I respect her more than makes sense, etc.), but there is not much emotion attached.  I think the emotions are not supposed to be this subtle, because J.K. Rowling for instance described jealousy as a roaring lion, or something, while for me it's just a little annoyance that I tend to overreact to and don't notice until after it's already gone.

She's out of the country for a while, so I think this is the best time for this discussion.

[Trapezohedron]

If you feel like you miss her right now that you wouldn't mind (and in fact appreciate) if she was there with you, then you may be developing feelings for her. You can't be sure if you love someone yet if you don't have strong feelings for that person, whether it be a want to see her, or find yourself doing so much for this person without any additional reward or input from her.

Love flows naturally, is what I'm saying.

[LordBucket]

Apart from the thread title, your post contains no questions. What exactly is it you want to know? It's generally easier to answer questions than general statements.

The only piece of advise I feel inspired to offer in response to your post so far is "Don't feel the need to follow scripts just for the sake of following scripts. Conscious action is generally preferable to doing what somebody else thinks you're 'supposed to do' simply for the sake of achieving results that you're 'supposed to have.'"

[DreamThorn]

Ok.  So, in summary, the fact that I've been working for months on her birthday present might be a dead giveaway.  And furthermore, I shouldn't worry about this at all yet, even though having unknowns in my future is scary.

Is that right?

[Trapezohedron]

Yes and no.

It's not a dead giveaway. You can't tell you love, or even like someone because you're preparing a birthday gift. Do you ever prepare birthday gifts for other people who you value, not romantically?

But yeah, what LordBucket said is true. Don't worry about love. It's not the type of thing you should worry about (if you do, you're just going to hurt yourself in the long run).

[DreamThorn]

This is really the first time I've made a gift; I usually just buy something that I think they'd like.  However, people have told me I'm very good at gifting, so maybe I just make above average effort automatically.

Thinking of my past, I remember there were times (very rarely) where I would get a strong positive emotion toward a woman and be somewhat infatuated.  My affection just picks the worst possible targets.  I guess this is what they mean when they say that love is blind.  Maybe I'll be luckier next time, whenever that is.

Thanks very much for answering my vaguely-stated questions.  At least I now know that I don't need to feel confused, pressured or worried.

Enjoy your weekend!

P.S. I'm excited about Homestuck's 4th anniversary!