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[RickiusMaximus]

Sometimes stupidity kills your fortress, in fact, most times stupidity kills your fortress... But there are occasional times when it saves you by the skin of your teeth!


So, I had a newly dug moat, with an elaborate filling and draining system, linked to the river, powering the grindstones, and ending in the great hall waterfall.

It was almost complete, all flood gates in, waterwheels in place, cistern carved out and ready, overflow pipe installed...

And then siege!

I think to myself- excellent, the perfect test of my new moat!

Just as the gobbos get near I pull the lever for the floodgates to flood it......


Aaaaaaaand I hadn't linked the floodgates to the levers...
What's worse, the drain leading to the great hall wasn't completely finished yet, and with the moat empty there was no water to block their progress, and this left them a route right into the heart of my fortress :O

The gobbos pile into the moat heading for the drain, I'm thinking, even if I squad all my dwarfs I'll never stop this....


Aaaaaaaand a squad of cave dragons start merrily bashing holes in the floodgates, flooding the moat and drowning themselves and the entire goblin army, HURRAH!


Post your stories!

[weenog]

Entrance corridor designs with a short, direct, absurdly lethal corridor and a long, winding, wagon-accessible corridor depend heavily on stupidity to work.

[xnrad]

Once had a newborn fortress that was to be a testing ground for project 'washing machine'. Had a 5x30 walled in entrance with drawbridges on either side to seal it up so the contents could be properly 'washed'. The water was supplied by three screw pumps pumping from a river, down a short path and through fortifications to enter the 'washing machine'. Pumps were powered by a water wheel and operated by a lever just outside the pump house.
This was a mistake.

My fortress proper started with a 4x6 channeled out ramp down to the two stone door entrance. Immediately outside of the 'washing machine'.
This was another mistake.

The 'washing machine' did have proper drainage via a fortification-guarded lever-operated floodgate more or less opposite the pump house and was thoroughly tested. With the lever right next to the pump house.
You guessed it, another mistake.

I then ordered the construction of the last two screw pumps, mistakenly believing the water wheel mechanism to be off.
This started a disaster.

The first indication I had of this situation was the announcement of a drowning. I immediately zoomed to what I expected to be a particularly dense fisherdwarf. What I saw was far worse. The pump attached to the power source was finished and running, spewing water both into the washing machine and back out into the river due to the second pump not being completed. The builder was the first victim.
The first thing I did was to enact Plan A: shut down the power to the pump. The water pouring out the pump house had managed to overflow the river and cover the levers controlling the whole mess. Several dwarves attempted to flip the levers and either ended up getting scared away or swept into the river and drowning.
Plan A was deemed a failure, and Plan B was enacted. Plan B: dismantle the pump. Within three seconds, Plan B was modified to 'dismantle everything in the pump process'. Plan B Mod 1 went worse than Plan A, ending with six dead due to water-related breathing difficulties. At this point, water was above the doors within the hole in the ground entrance to the fort. An emergency escape hatch was constructed and Plan C was enacted.
Plan C was to deconstruct the ceiling of the pump house and attempt to get somedwarf inside enough to continue Plan B Mod 1. I about gave up on the fortress when only one dwarf showed up due to a really kickin armageddon party. This one dwarf proceeded to deconstruct the second to last tile of the partially constructed ceiling. He chose to stand on the last tile. I watched as Urist McStupid [McStrangelove?] rode the falling tile down to land squarely on the power axle.

This... was a miracle of stupidity.

[knutor]

HA!  I have been saved by morale failure, and goblins fleeing, when they could easily have mopped me up.  That's a good story.  Both good stories. 

[Drazinononda]

I don't keep a lot of military on active duty (cap the population at 60, so most of my dwarves are needed available for work) and don't lock up my fort to invaders because that's just lame. So any time a dwarf runs outside to pick up a troll fur loincloth and ends up distracting an ambush by running laps around the fort instead of coming into it, that's a good thing.

[knutor]

I like to leave my barn door open, too.  I accidentally had my fort shut down just this afternoon, and witnessed the elf traders and horses pack up and leave via an open cavern region edge.  Now I am in the process of clearing a pipe and building a road down there, where they went to see if I can get any subterranean traders to visit. HA!

I have a one way entrance, so any fleeing outside dorfs can sneak in, unharmed after I close the barn door tight, that is if they have enough spatial sense and agility to stay ahead of the goblin siegers and find the one way entrance.