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[GoombaGeek]

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"Hey, Farmer!"
"What?"
"D'ya think there's more to life than sitting in the tavern and eating these delicious kitten spleen roasts?"
"Before the Kitten Massacre, we could barely survive, and even then on plump helmets and plump helmet wine. Now we have enough food for every dwarf in the fortress for fifty years, and that cursed outside has been paved so nobody has to trip on a tree root ever again. Why would I work?"
"Well... it's not boring?"
"You came here after the Kitten Massacre. You've tasted plump helmets?"
"Just once."
"Imagine eating one every day."
"It's not boring just sitting here, drinking the years away?"
"Blaggart! Ye've never worked a day in yer life! Don't get uppity with me!!"
"I'm a mechanic, not a farmer! I don't even get your sudden accent!"
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"Thees is de Elf Union representateev! Are yeeh the fortreesh that crushed da beeutiful foreest under a paved rock floor?!"
"Um, no, you must be looking for that OTHER fortress-"
"Short bastahd! I learn spreaking Dorfven for five yeer and you can piss a breeck!"
"Uh"
"BATTLE STATIONS!!"
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"Oh, that's just it, you treehumper."
"If you keel me, de speerets of the foreest will have der revinge on you're souls!"
"It's your, not you're! You can't even speak Dwarven!"
"Yemenkelacamkaame! I weel deestroy all of you at wance!"

[anthony62490]

"Short bastahd! I learn spreaking Dorfven for five yeer and you can piss a breeck!"

HAHA! Too funny.

[GoombaGeek]

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"Haaaa... aaaah... haaaah..."
"Go on, try standing up."
"Eeeeeeh... aaaahh..."
"That's right! I cut off your legs so you can't! Who's short now, you vegephile?!"
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"Mission accomplished. Do we need to wipe up the blood?"
"I doubt it."
SUDDENLY, LIGHTNING STRIKES
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"AAAAAHHHHHHH"
"OH GOD THE SHOCKING AND THE BURNING"
"BEEEEEEEES THE BEEEEEEES"
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"Woah! A tree!"
"It's purple!"
"It looks angry!"
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"AAAAHHH"
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"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"
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"Ahahahaha! They locked me on the roof because they said I had a fell mood and it was the only way! They thought I'd starve! But I have evolved, and they will suffer all the more for it! I remain nourished through the action of cosmic rays upon my skin! I built this working nuclear reactor out of some dusty -gabbro mechanisms- and these boulders of pitchblende someone left up here! And as soon as my plutonium stockpile reaches 9.06 kilogrurists, this entire place is going to hell! Wait, what's that thing below-"
"GRAAAAH I AM TREE"
"AAAH IT'S GOT ME OH GOD MY ARM"
"OUR TRAINING AXES DO NOTHING! GET THE WOODCUTTERS!!"
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"AAAAH IT'S TEARING OFF MY FINGERS ONE BY ONE OH GOD THE PAIN"
"IT'S HEALING! WE CAN'T CUT IT DOWN!"
"I'M MAKING PROGRESS! CHOP OFF THE BRANCHES FIRST!"
"KILL IT! KILL IT!"
"WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!"
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"If it makes it up here, I'll kill it my own way! But this is the last ingot! I just need to drop it into the shell I've prepared and press the button!"
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"One more! Just one more and my final vengeance will be exacted!!"
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"This is it!"
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"And now - the world ends!"
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The Giant Radiation Cloud strikes at The Woodcutter but it is deflected by his xpig tail sockx!
The Giant Radiation Cloud strikes at The Bonecarver but it is deflected by her iron helmet!
The Giant Radiation Cloud strikes at The Grower but it is deflected by his XXrope reed capXX!
The Giant Radiation Cloud strikes at The Woodcutter but it is deflected by his llama wool trousers!
The Giant Radiation Cloud strikes at The Woodcutter but it is deflected by her +bronze chain leggings+!
The Giant Radiation Cloud strikes at The Woodcutter but it is deflected by her *silver helm*!
The Giant Radiation Cloud strikes at The Mechanic but it is deflected by his xXgiant cave spider silk scarfXx!
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"What was that?!"
"I don't know. Why's the floor glowing?"
"Eh, I'm sure it'll stop eventually. Does anyone else taste metal?"
"A bit, now that you mention it."
"Huh."
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"Ah, see? It's already fading."
"I think it was a giant dragon!"
"Don't be silly, dragons aren't real ever since we killed the last one."
"Have you ever tasted dragon meat?"
"What do you think we did with the corpse, buried it?!"
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"Where'd the purple tree go?"
"It probably got burned up."
"Where'd my fingers go?"
"Same."
"Damn! Oh well, at least they're cauterized nicely."
"Let me see!"
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*plop*
"What was that? It sounded like someone falling off the roof."
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"I... *hack*... will have... *cough*... my revenge on... *blork*... all of you!! Leave me alone!"
"You're that fell child we left on the roof! How did you survive?"
"None of you are... *gack*... going to... *retch*... survive this!"
"Oh, your beard's falling out... you haven't got long for this world..."
"Ahaha... *sprecht*... heh... *bleck*... gah... everyone... die..."
"You must be talking about the giant fireball! Oh, you aren't wearing much. We all blocked it, but you..."
"Shut... *grack*... up...! You'd need... *ghech*... five feet of... *blerk*... lead to... *ech*... block that!"
"Naw, you'd be surprised how good they make clothes these days."
"Fuck... *aaghechk*... you...!!"
"Oh dear, he's dead."
"He seems a bit warm, don't you think?"
"Ow! Shit! He's on fire!"
"Now that I take a closer look at him, is he glowing?"
"Just like the ground! Mysterious indeed!"
"Let's toss him in this melted box I found on the roof. It's full of pencil leads!"
"Sounds as good a plan as any at this point."
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"In memory of Unnamed Fell Child / Died 1083 / Reunited with plutonium-241

[TheZoomZoll]

I guess his mind....WAS ROTTENLY RADIATED

BAD JOKES AHOY