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[Captain Willy]

So I have a couple artifact weapons I want to assign to my military, how would I do that, they just grab the bronze stuff.

Also I have some very expensive earring and a crown that would make any dwarf go red in glee, but they just sit in the stockpile.

Also while on the topic can I assign my top end booze and food to my nobles or any dwarf who earns it?

[Xob Ludosmbax]

m e W <right> <right> <enter>

That is:
(m)ilitary
(e)quip
(W)eapon
Select the dwarf in question
Choose to assign it a specific weapon
Choose the weapon in question

(You may want to remove the other weapon too while you're here.)

If it can't be assigned from the military weapon, it can't be assigned manually.  So, sadly, artifact earrings are a waste of space. 

And for your last question, it can be done with burrows, but it would be a PITA, so I never thought it worth the effort, especially since once you get legendary cooks and brewers, you end up with more food & drink than you know what to do with. 

[MasterShizzle]

All your "junk" artifacts like earrings/crowns/toys and bracelets (for some reason, I seem to get an artifact bracelet right off the cuff with EVERY BLOODY FORT that I run) you can assign a custom stockpile in one of your statue gardens or something that only accepts artifacts. Alternately, store them in some deep dark corner of the fort to prevent thievery. No matter how worthless an andesite-studded fish bone bracelet is, the creator will still go berserk if it leaves the map.

Don't bother trying to get your dwarves to eat specific foods/boozes. If you're feeling really generous you could put custom stockpiles in your nobles' rooms that only accepted the foods they like, but most of the time dwarves will manage to eat their favorite foods if they're available, no matter where they're stored. Trying to get a stockpile to accept one specific kind of prepared meal would be almost impossible, and not worth the effort anyway.

If you have enough top-notch eats around the fort, just sell them. You'll be churning out even more insanely good meals later on, to the point where most of my trade goods are prepared roasts and such. With a Legendary cook you'll be able to sell Prepared Food Barrels for more than 6,000 each, and even with normal Proficient cooks at embark you'll be able to buy a caravan's entire inventory before year 3.

[Sutremaine]

No matter how worthless an andesite-studded fish bone bracelet is, the creator will still go berserk if it leaves the map.

Dwarves don't care about lost artifacts.

[MasterShizzle]

Really? I thought anything masterpiece-or-above caused unhappiness when it was lost or stolen, and artifacts just caused bad thoughts in general if they got nabbed.

*checks wiki*

Hmph. Where have I heard this before? Is it no longer the case that dwarves who make masterpieces don't like their work to get stolen or lost?

[Sutremaine]

Masterpieces cause unhappy thoughts when they're lost or stolen. Artifacts aren't masterpieces. I haven't had any stolen to my knowledge, but I have atomsmashed some. No reaction.

Or I did something to them to make them (Lost), anyway -- you can't dump artifacts, but you may be able to dump the container they're in or deconstruct the floor from underneath them. This was done before the changes to deconstruction.