I'd go for the expository theme tune
"LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS
To construct a fort!
Someone sent me Humans
When I asked for Dwarves!
You're the saddest bunch I've ever met
And you can bet before we're through
Mister, I'll make a Dwarf out of yoooou!
"Solid as a boulder
But like magma within.
Maintaining no illusions:
You can never win.
You're a sober, pale, pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue!
Somehow I will make Dwarves out of yoooou!"
Broker: I think now's a good time to take a break.
Hunter: Say goodbye to those who knew me!
"Mason has died of dehydration."
Recruit: That badger's got them scared to death?
Elf: Hope he doesn't see right through me!
Player: Why the hell can't they learn how to swim!?
BE A DWARF
We must be steady as a granite boulder!
BE A DWARF
With all the hair of three baboons!
BE A DWARF
With all the fear of a Giant Cave Spider!
BE A DWARF
Mysterious as the veins of metal bluuuue!
"Time is racing towards us
'till the Fun arrives!
Heed my every order!
And you MIGHT survive!
But you're unsuited for
the CRAZE of forts.
So abandon, give up,
We're through!
How could I make a Dwarf out of you?"
Abandon fort? (y/n)
^
BE A DWARF
We must be steady as a granite boulder!
BE A DWARF
With all the hair of three baboons!
BE A DWARF
With all the fear of a Giant Cave Spider!
BE A DWARF
Mysterious as the veins of metal bluuuue!