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[Trapezohedron]

/yetanotherselfconfidencethread

So, I'm aware that my lack of self-confidence is greatly affecting my ability to learn and score big on college exams. Thing is, that even if I know I need to improve my opinion of self, I can't bring myself to do it, as I will just depress myself when I fail horribly and start back at square one.

I hope I'm not boring the general populace with my problems and worries of insecurity.

[Yoink]

Spoiler: Warning- Possibly dangerous levels of confidence/ego boost within (click to show/hide)

Dude, you are fucking AWESOME. I hope one day I can gain even a tenth of your pure, undilated awesomeness.
I would name my future children after you, but then I would be so terribly disappointed in their failing to live up to their awesome namesake that I would lock them in the attic, feed them on food scraps and eventually be thrown in prison for extreme neglience. Yes, you are THAT awesome. You are so very awesome that at this very moment there is an unseen war going on between several teams of mutant super heroes and their cybernetically enhanced, shadowy-government-corporation enemies, all for the sake of either protecting your powers of awesomeness, or harnessing them for their own nefarious means.
You are so awesome that anything that happens which involves you is accompanied by a cheesy, over-the-top sound effect, like 'POW', 'Zap', 'kaboosh' or similiar.
You are so awesome that I have just spent twenty minutes or so, typing madly, ignoring my bruised and bloodied fingertips, and have still failed to even HINT at the full, mighty extent of your awesomeness. You. Are. Awesome. You have an incredible power which stems from your super-developed brain, allowing you do accomplish anything you put your mind to, _{with just a bit of concentration and perserverance.} 

[freeformschooler]

You would be amazed how much self-confidence can be gained by constantly pretending to be self-confident when around other people. As the saying goes, "fake it 'til you make it."

I don't know about other methods.

[LordBucket]

my lack of self-confidence is greatly affecting my
ability to learn and score big on college exams.

How is lack of self confidence affecting your exam scores? I'm not seeing a correlation.

What exactly is it you want? You've already mentioned there are many threads on this topic. So presumably you've already read the standard solutions that are typically offered.

What is it specifically that you're looking for?

[ed boy]

So, I'm aware that my lack of self-confidence is greatly affecting my ability to learn and score big on college exams.

College exams? They're nothing. They're not going to be a problem for you. You've been studying your subject for months, if not years now. The stuff coming up in these exams is stuff you know, is stuff you have no problem with. These exams are in your domain, and you are the master of your domain.

These exams are things that you can easily do. They're trying to make a big deal of themselves, but you're not going to stand for that shit, because you know they're not. You know they're things you can easily do, and you are going to do them. You're not just going to do these exams, you're going to blast them away because these exams are nothing to you.

These exams are your bitches. They're trying to cause you problems, because that's what bitches do. Bitches will bitch. But you're not going to put up with that pathetic bitching of theirs. They're trying to get out of line, but you're not going to let that happen. You are the master of your bitches, and you'll be damned if you're going to submit to their bullshit. You are going to put these bitches in their place, because bitches need to be put in their place. And you're not just going to put them in their place. You're going to make sure they never get out of line again. You're going to leave them so destroyed once you're done with them that they won't dream of doing what you don't want them to. You're going to beat them into place. You're going to pin them down and pummel them into submission. You're going to leave them broken and crippled in your wake, because you won't accept this shit from your bitches. They're your bitches, and you're going to put them in their place. And once you're done with them, they will KNOW that they're your bitches.

In the above, I use the term 'bitch', not in any sort of sexist manner, but rather to denote any object or task that tried to cause problems, but will be minor for the OP.

[Tuplis]

I had two things to contribute, and this guy took one of them:

You would be amazed how much self-confidence can be gained by constantly pretending to be self-confident when around other people. As the saying goes, "fake it 'til you make it."

I used to lack in self-confidence. I found that voluntarily putting yourself in situations where you need self-confidence is a great way to summon some. What happened with me:
1) Picked up mixed martial arts training
2) Started to work as a security guard ( I was studying at a university at a time so just did this one the side )

Now, depending on what your current level is, there might be a variety of ways to do this. The way I see it, if you're in a situation where you have to compete against someone and/or perform in front of observers, your self-confidence will grow. Expose yourself tho these kinds of situations a lot.

[ggamer]

New guy.

Don't believe in yourself.
Believe in the ME that believes in you.

While that second post was a little too... testosteroney, I do think your a cool guy, from what i've seen of you. You have no reason to have self confidence issues.

You would be amazed how much self-confidence can be gained by constantly pretending to be self-confident when around other people. As the saying goes, "fake it 'til you make it."

This, this, a thousand times this. Hell, I got to play a volleyball game with a half dozen hot college girls last week because I faked self confidence.

You can do it, bro, I believe in you.

[Trapezohedron]

my lack of self-confidence is greatly affecting my
ability to learn and score big on college exams.

How is lack of self confidence affecting your exam scores? I'm not seeing a correlation.

What exactly is it you want? You've already mentioned there are many threads on this topic. So presumably you've already read the standard solutions that are typically offered.

What is it specifically that you're looking for?

I don't know. I don't even know why I made this thread, but I still felt the need to.

But more on the point:

My lack of self-confidence is making things hard for me because I'm always doubting my answers, even if they are right. Of course, after the doubt comes the (not)correction of the answer of that exam question, which leads me to have a low mark in my scores.

When that happens, my mind just goes lower into the depths of wallowing in despair, which leads me to question my existence, question my mind, and make threads or ask questions like this.

I feel that I lack a goal. I've been looking for one. Now, while that isn't relevant to self-confidence directly, my lack of goal makes me question my existence (again) and do the same as above sentence.

So, I'm aware that my lack of self-confidence is greatly affecting my ability to learn and score big on college exams.

College exams? They're nothing. They're not going to be a problem for you. You've been studying your subject for months, if not years now. The stuff coming up in these exams is stuff you know, is stuff you have no problem with. These exams are in your domain, and you are the master of your domain.

These exams are things that you can easily do. They're trying to make a big deal of themselves, but you're not going to stand for that shit, because you know they're not. You know they're things you can easily do, and you are going to do them. You're not just going to do these exams, you're going to blast them away because these exams are nothing to you.

These exams are your bitches. They're trying to cause you problems, because that's what bitches do. Bitches will bitch. But you're not going to put up with that pathetic bitching of theirs. They're trying to get out of line, but you're not going to let that happen. You are the master of your bitches, and you'll be damned if you're going to submit to their bullshit. You are going to put these bitches in their place, because bitches need to be put in their place. And you're not just going to put them in their place. You're going to make sure they never get out of line again. You're going to leave them so destroyed once you're done with them that they won't dream of doing what you don't want them to. You're going to beat them into place. You're going to pin them down and pummel them into submission. You're going to leave them broken and crippled in your wake, because you won't accept this shit from your bitches. They're your bitches, and you're going to put them in their place. And once you're done with them, they will KNOW that they're your bitches.

In the above, I use the term 'bitch', not in any sort of sexist manner, but rather to denote any object or task that tried to cause problems, but will be minor for the OP.

Spoiler: Life Story that I feel confident about sharing here (click to show/hide)

Honestly, I've only been able to reach college due to those secondary education exams people take to boost themselves up to college level.

I wasn't fortunate to have a maintained education here, having stopped at Grade 1 due to poverty. Things are quite expensive here, and before that, my mom was jobless and relying on my father overseas to supply us with money. Of course, due to the fact that we need to eat, and we need electricity (I share my house with my relatives, and it isn't good to just sap their resources just to get me schooled) running here. After all those expenses, the remaining cash isn't enough for tuition fees, much less for the two of my other brothers.

When I got back to school, I feel so out of place and I often have to fake information and history (while keeping it consistent with the versions of my brothers' stories) just to get by with as little information as possible.

And there's the problem where I face other subjects I never got to study but 'everyone should know by now'...

Writing this part of the post has given me a lot of grief, as I'm constantly reconsidering if this is the right thing to do. But I know you Bay12ers to be sensible people, plus coupled with the fact that you don't know me beyond this avatar, it's quite safe for me.

Oh, and before I forget, others have insulted our poverty way back that time, so I certainly know the effects of revealing my real school history. It is only a miracle I know as much as I do now, as I've never been able to study much, save some articles in the internet and a few books I've been able to scrape by the past few years.

I'm pretty sure there's some info I forgot to mention. But ask away, if it isn't all clear, and I hope I really don't regret making this post...

Also: Confidence meter - IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

[eerr]

So what, beating hard videogames isn't enough?

Never learned to be the best at anything?

[eerr]

To work on this,

I went back to the questions I missed and learned how to get the answers... more consistently.

and studied why I got them wrong to try and not make the same mistake again.

[ggamer]

I just recently found out that if you have self confidence issues, or depression, or anything really, just fist pump.

No, seriously.

listen to this, stand up, and start fist pumping.

I'm mainly dealing with small depression, however with self confidence, just dance. Do crazy shit, like backflips and stuff. You'll feel dumb at first, but once you get going after about five minutes, you'll feel alot better.

I applied this method to prom, and after thirty minutes?

Maaaan, I felt like hot shit.

To clarify, I'm such a bad dancer I make office accountants feel good about their dancing ability, but by fist pumping in place for about ten minutes my self confidence was off the chaaaiin.

Fuck, my self confidence ascended to the god tiers.

anyway, just try it. If you don't feel better after about thirty minutes of doing that, then it's not like you lost anything. At worst your roomates will be slightly annoyed.

[TSTwizby]

My lack of self-confidence is making things hard for me because I'm always doubting my answers, even if they are right. Of course, after the doubt comes the (not)correction of the answer of that exam question, which leads me to have a low mark in my scores.

I do the same thing, all the time. I've found it helps a bit to just rush through the questions all in one go, then go back and do any checking you need to. This pits my lack of self confidence against my desire to be done with the test, which cancels out the effect a bit.

I feel that I lack a goal. I've been looking for one. Now, while that isn't relevant to self-confidence directly, my lack of goal makes me question my existence (again) and do the same as above sentence.

If you have free time, find a hobby. If you don't have free time, you're probably giving yourself too much work. Of course, you play DF, so that probably isn't an issue. For that matter, that means you already have a hobby. I don't know what kind of player you are, but if you like building things, build something. Build a statue of yourself 50 z-levels high, or build a scale model of the Taj Mahal, or build a dwarven amusement park with rollercoasters and waterslides. If that isn't your thing, go do some physical work, clean your room, dig a ditch, build a fence. Do some volunteer work, or write a poem, or learn to program, or write a program if you already know how.

If you feel like you're worthless, the best way to show yourself you're wrong is to go and do something with a concrete result. Something you can point to afterwards and say 'I did that'. It can be something big, or small, or whatever, just something you did yourself.

Failure doesn't mean you're worthless, it just means you have to try again.

And if the goals above seem too short term for you, keep in mind that a long term goal can be a bunch of short term goals strung together. Long term planning is overrated.

[Trapezohedron]

Hmm, I'll guess I'll try those. Thanks.

But I haven't the free time since I've entered college. College is also killing my creativity ATM, due to the lack of time to compose music or at least fiddle around with the piano.

And yeah, I was never one to plan really long-term goals, as they tend to get crushed in the middle of enacting said long-term goal.

Also, my brain recently decided to boost itself with a bit more dopamine than usual, so I feel much better now.

Confidence meter - IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

[weenog]

If you've got it handy or can acquire it, try watching The Princess Bride.  It's great when you're down in the dumps.  Ultimately it's optimistic, but it knows better than to be saccharine and fake with it.  TPB fully acknowledges that yes, life is a parade of pain, fools, obstacles, successes snatched away at the last moment, but there are still things out there which make life worth living, good things.  Sometimes you win in the end despite all that misery and absurdity.  Good for recharging the old morale batteries if you're too cynical and/or experienced to believe more openly idealistic stories when they tell you it's gonna be okay.

[Azated]

You would be amazed how much self-confidence can be gained by constantly pretending to be self-confident when around other people. As the saying goes, "fake it 'til you make it."

I know this has been quoted before, but I'd just like to emphasize how true it is.

I completely lack self confidence. I'm not much to look at, I speak a little too fast for my words to come out coherently, and I'm not interested in football or cars or whatever people my age like. I can't even talk to people properly for fear that I'll say something wrong and they'll break my nose.

Whenever I act like I'm hot stuff and know exactly what I'm talking about, people just gravitate towards me. It doesn't matter that the extent of my knowledge of cars consists of "Put full in hole. Turn key. Press peddle", if I seem to know how to build a tank from a piece of pipe and a few rubber bands, it works wonders. Just make sure you don't over-extend yourself into unknown territory. That never ends well.


I suggest getting some exercise. Anything will work; walking down to the corner shop and back, playing football, even doing a few pushups. I started rock climbing late last year and absolutely loved it. You don't even need muscle for it; I weigh less than most of my girlfriends and have about as much muscle. It's all technique; balance your weight, and you can climb like spiderpig.


Also, chocolate. That stuff is the food of gods when you're feeling down.