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Author Topic: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.  (Read 47309 times)

GoombaGeek

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #225 on: June 07, 2012, 03:31:54 pm »

Dwarfs that worship different gods will gain bad thoughts by being in the same room. Eventually your entire population will clump up into an unstoppable holy war.

Oh, and especially devout dwarfs will occasionally claim a meeting room the same way that moody dwarfs claim workshops, and will throw whatever they can find at non-believers until killed.
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My wooden badge was delicious.

Monk321654

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #226 on: June 07, 2012, 04:00:05 pm »

The idea of an entirely immortal race offends me...
The inverse ratio of Age to Reproductive capabilities shall not let it be so!
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

WealthyRadish

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #227 on: June 08, 2012, 03:11:07 pm »

-Forbidding items has a chance of making them more desirable.

-Goblins bait dwarves into coming onto the surface by dropping socks everywhere, while stealthed.

-Dwarves stop caring so much about furniture and rooms.
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Sheb

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #228 on: June 08, 2012, 04:56:52 pm »

Dwarves are now smarter and more autonomous. After embark, they'll do everything on their own, including designing the fortress.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Corai

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #229 on: June 08, 2012, 04:58:03 pm »

Dwarves are now smarter and more autonomous. After embark, they'll do everything on their own, including designing the fortress.

And you also start with a 30-squad enforcer squad, to make the dwarves do what you want them to.
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Hanslanda

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #230 on: June 09, 2012, 12:12:03 am »

-Dwarves now need razors to shave their beards. All dwarves demand razors for shaving, and will not go above unhappy if they have a beard.

-Goblins are always peaceful good samaritan neighbors. For trade, they bring only steel and candy bars, slade stones, food, booze, and multi colored cloth and leather of all types.

-DF MMORPG. Was that mentioned? I would literally kill myself if someone did that.

-All explicit content is banned. No more gouging eyes. No more killing a child, then using his corpse to defeat a city.

-All animals are now forced to be realistic, obeying the square cube law.

-Kobolds, dragons, minotaurs and giant keas are now civs.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Corai

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #231 on: June 09, 2012, 12:18:15 am »

-Dwarves now need razors to shave their beards. All dwarves demand razors for shaving, and will not go above unhappy if they have a beard.

-Goblins are always peaceful good samaritan neighbors. For trade, they bring only steel and candy bars, slade stones, food, booze, and multi colored cloth and leather of all types.

-DF MMORPG. Was that mentioned? I would literally kill myself if someone did that.

-All explicit content is banned. No more gouging eyes. No more killing a child, then using his corpse to defeat a city.

-All animals are now forced to be realistic, obeying the square cube law.

-Kobolds, dragons, minotaurs and giant keas are now civs.

Kobolds ARE a civ. There a skulking civ that exist in caves.
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Hanslanda

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #232 on: June 09, 2012, 12:40:01 am »

Oops. I meant like, armies... Cities, fortress.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

WealthyRadish

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #233 on: June 09, 2012, 01:44:37 am »

All dorfs are replaced by angsty androgynous anime teenagers, whose sole occupation is to engage in turn-based combat against tentacle monsters.
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