(Didn't read the whole thread.)
I will say that Wurm has changed a bit since you last played. There's now two server "clusters" of four servers each. You can travel amongst the servers via boat or swimming if you're suicidal. On the PVE cluster there's 3x servers and 1x "chaos" server where pvp is allowed, but only if you travel to the server. On the PVP cluster there's 4x servers, with 3x "home servers" where three nations spawn, as well as one server in the middle with delicious resources and free-range PVP, as well as the ability to found your own nation. Free players have a lot more options, but you still get the level 20 cap, and connection is a LOT more stable. I disconnect from my own internet more often than Wurm disconnects me.
So in that regard, I'd suggest giving Wurm another try. The payment per month is like $6 and there's usually some "mass recruit" village on the PVP cluster who will take anyone and everyone.
Otherwise... I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned UnReal World yet. It's extremely stone-age level wilderness survival, I think mods exist but in vanilla you can't manipulate iron at all. Hunting is VERY hard until you really learn how to do it, and winter is harsh, for temperature, food, and boredom. Temperature and wounds play a big deal, with bear fur being a coveted resource for how insulating it is, and minor wounds slowing you down significantly and making everything difficult. You really need to stay wary to stay alive. It may not be exactly what you're looking for, but it's very nice. It's also a roguelike, so things only happen when you hit the buttons.