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Author Topic: Aspberger's advice?  (Read 3895 times)

Reudh

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Re: Aspberger's advice?
« Reply #30 on: May 10, 2012, 10:15:10 pm »

Because the worst that might happen is you might sometimes offend someone. Most often, people are just wowed by your knowledge.

Kadzar

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Re: Aspberger's advice?
« Reply #31 on: May 10, 2012, 10:19:05 pm »

Because its not a bad thing? Try rolling it around with ADD and ADHD its not horrible man.
Yeah, I know that, but I'm worried about how it would make people think of me. It kind of seems like the more I became socially self-aware, the less confident in myself I became.
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Reudh

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Re: Aspberger's advice?
« Reply #32 on: May 10, 2012, 10:34:14 pm »

Simple, don't mention it until it comes up in conversation.

Agdune

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Re: Aspberger's advice?
« Reply #33 on: May 10, 2012, 10:36:04 pm »

That's a good thing really. Y'know, "the more you learn, the more you realise you don't know anything" and all that. At least you're self-moderating for behaviour to make sure it's not offensive, from there it's just a matter of refinement so that you can start excluding those offensive topics without excluding topics that are not contexually offensive.

But yeah, telling people you have Aspergers is one of those things that I think is delicate territory. Bring it up too early or in a too negative context and people will not think too well of your negativity and you'll be appearing to complain about your problems. Leaving it too late can potentially have them wondering WTF's wrong with you when you fail to pick up on one of their vauge social ques. Bit of a balancing act, I tend to throw it in at around the same time I'm discussing my degree - since my ambition is to become a developmental psychologist, specialising in autism and aspergers (with a counselling degree to boot), I then have a suitable opening to throw in the line "yeah, the reason I'm interested in that is because I actually have Aspergers myself. It's awesome/interesting/something else!". In context, it gives me the opening to let them know not to expect totally stock standard behaviour from me without interrupting the flow of a conversation, gives additional conversational options when they ask WTF Aspergers is and keeps the whole thing framed positively so they don't ever feel the need to be all "oh, sorry, does that mean you're disabled?". It's worked well so far, but obviously that exact wording isn't too helpful to anyone who isn't currently doing a psych degree with ambitions to become a developmental psychologist specialising in Aspergers and Autism :p
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bukitodinos

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Re: Aspberger's advice?
« Reply #34 on: May 11, 2012, 06:03:24 am »

thx for all the help everybody :D
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DarkWolfXV

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Re: Aspberger's advice?
« Reply #35 on: May 11, 2012, 06:47:16 am »

I have asperger syndrome, and ADHD, and a lot of retards think im mentally retarded and act around me like i am 3 year old not understanding anything. I honestly dont care for idiots that think i am a idiot without doing any research. I think that for me, plus of Asperger is that i have better intelligence, i never cared about people not worth my time, i only make friends with people worth my time, and rest can die in a bush. Those people like me actually for whats inside of me, not outside and they know that if i have those two disorders im not mentally retarded. With actually not trying to contact with not worthwile people i noticed a lot of flaws of me, society, and stuff, by being alone and thinking a lot. And like whole school knows i have disorders because our old teacher have told everyone in the class, it was quite sad to me but i noticed that now only the peole that really liked me ever talked to me. I hope i helped you.

EDIT: Also i think, for me, asperger removed barriers of fear, its like you know, im not afraid that when i go to a girl and tell hello or something or tell her i like her.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2012, 06:52:13 am by DarkWolfXV »
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ToonyMan

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Re: Aspberger's advice?
« Reply #36 on: May 11, 2012, 01:55:23 pm »

I'm suppose to have Asperger's Syndrome, but I wouldn't let that put you down.  Everybody has a large variety of interests or occupations.  You can either choose to do something or not.  Whether you decide to advance your understandings of a topic, or improve your skills, or decimate your life, is from your own actions.  You could consider your life horrible and shitty, but place another person there and they could love it.  If you find yourself in a situation like that what you need is change.  Either change or accept your placement, make amends.  Of course, if you have no interests in doing new things or improving on what you have then you will find yourself questioning your monotonous daily life.

Here's an example, on campus the majority of students talk with one another in the front lobby or out on the courtyard (on 'good' days).  I never do that unless I'm waiting for a ride with friends.  I head to the library because it's quiet and comfortable and I enjoy it.  Getting the impression you have to talk to stranger to be happy is wrong if that isn't what you really want.  Do you really want to be in the library?  Does it sound like a nice place to be right now?  If the answer is yes then go to the library.  You'll find yourself much more content.

If you don't feel comfortable then stay calm, whatever trivial matter that is happening is nothing to become emotionally upset about.  That would just create tension and pressure.  When I buy things at a store and pump gas into a car just do it.  If you're with somebody else and they want you to go into the store just tell them you don't want to.  You feel more comfortable waiting in the car, only doing what is necessary.  Of course, gaining the courage to do required things in 'life' is part of what people call being responsible or an 'adult'.

Oh I'm out of time, cut short.

Oh and if you have anxiety it's best to talk to somebody.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2012, 01:57:06 pm by ToonyMan »
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Shakerag

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Re: Aspberger's advice?
« Reply #37 on: May 11, 2012, 02:35:10 pm »

I think I've been diagnosed with just about one of everything by now, which really has jaded me to the whole psychiatry field in general. 

I was just going to suggest being a social recluse, only talking to people online, and drinking.  Heavily. 

GlyphGryph

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Re: Aspberger's advice?
« Reply #38 on: May 11, 2012, 03:02:34 pm »

Shakerag, since you described my self-treatment plan to a tee, I can definitely backup the efficacy of that approach.

I think you left out the ludicrously large pile of non-liquor drugs, though.
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AlStar

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Re: Aspberger's advice?
« Reply #39 on: May 11, 2012, 03:06:06 pm »

(It's for that reason that I avoid alcohol and other depressants, as they almost completely (albeit temporarily) remove my ability to socialise.)

Interesting - I would've thought that alcohol would be a positive for social interaction - I know I used time at the bar to overcome a good part of my shyness - but I suppose it all depends on the individual.

Maybe - and this is all just pure conjecture on my part - alcohol tends to bring out your 'deeper' emotions. So in my case, where I wanted to talk with other people, but would come up with all kinds of reasons not to, it helped bypass those reasons. However, for someone whose default state is to not want to interact with other people at all, I guess alcohol would just push them further away.

Delta Foxtrot

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Re: Aspberger's advice?
« Reply #40 on: May 11, 2012, 03:20:26 pm »

Interesting - I would've thought that alcohol would be a positive for social interaction - I know I used time at the bar to overcome a good part of my shyness - but I suppose it all depends on the individual.

Maybe - and this is all just pure conjecture on my part - alcohol tends to bring out your 'deeper' emotions. So in my case, where I wanted to talk with other people, but would come up with all kinds of reasons not to, it helped bypass those reasons. However, for someone whose default state is to not want to interact with other people at all, I guess alcohol would just push them further away.

Frontal lobe is in charge of planning, inhibitions and stuff like that, and alcohol interferes with that part of the brain. Therefore when you drink and do something you don't normally do, it's because the part of your brain that is trying to say no is being KO'd by the booze. Whether that brings out the social butterfly in you or makes you cry in a fetal position depends entirely on the individual as you surmised.
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Shakerag

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Re: Aspberger's advice?
« Reply #41 on: May 11, 2012, 03:41:04 pm »

Interesting - I would've thought that alcohol would be a positive for social interaction - I know I used time at the bar to overcome a good part of my shyness - but I suppose it all depends on the individual.

Maybe - and this is all just pure conjecture on my part - alcohol tends to bring out your 'deeper' emotions. So in my case, where I wanted to talk with other people, but would come up with all kinds of reasons not to, it helped bypass those reasons. However, for someone whose default state is to not want to interact with other people at all, I guess alcohol would just push them further away.

Frontal lobe is in charge of planning, inhibitions and stuff like that, and alcohol interferes with that part of the brain. Therefore when you drink and do something you don't normally do, it's because the part of your brain that is trying to say no is being KO'd by the booze. Whether that brings out the social butterfly in you or makes you cry in a fetal position depends entirely on the individual as you surmised.

Huh.  My "inner me" must be a rock, because I just sit around and enjoy the buzz when I drink. 

AlStar

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Re: Aspberger's advice?
« Reply #42 on: May 11, 2012, 03:48:51 pm »

Nah, just means you like drinking for the act of drinking. That's what I do, nowadays.

Sowelu

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Re: Aspberger's advice?
« Reply #43 on: May 11, 2012, 03:56:20 pm »

Advice that I've had to give to a friend who had /serious/ aspergers, not a mild version:

If you ever think "People told me not to do this, but it's hilarious to do it", don't do it.  A friend of mine had some...issues with being told 'no', mainly that he kept thinking that 'it would be awesome' / 'it would be silly' / 'it seems appropriate' is more important than his friends telling him please, damn it, don't do that.  Also he apparently thought that "no" was a negotiable thing, or said to be funny, or meant "not right now".

You'll keep a lot more friends if you remember the simple rule that no means no.  When people you trust tell you that something is annoying, you should treat it as absolute gospel truth--and not do it anymore.

Maybe this doesn't apply to you, or you already have firm control over this part, but it's a real fast way to get alienated.

But yeah, this advice comes from lots of experience with him as one of my best friends for many years in college.  It's said with respect, but it's important.
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