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I am a legendary Fort Builder and I have Succesfully Colonized Terrifying Terrain

Because of the Elephant's (and Sanki) I have Failed To Colonize Terrifying Terrain

I am a bold, well bearded Dwarf  and, I will be Trying to Colonize Terrifying Terrain

I am an elf and will never try to colonize Terrifying Terrain

Oh, God gonna die. Oh, Armok gonna die....  I am currently trying to colonize Terrifying Terrain

[FalseDead]

So we all get that hankering to settle an area that really shouldn't be settled

How do You accomplish it?

Please Post hints, tip's, embark lists, and hilarious anecdotes,

Number the Hints, Please

First Ten Hints

1 ) Don't Bring animals, having them will ensure !FUN!

2 ) Turn your wood cutter into something useful and bring your own wood, being outside is !Fun!

3) Plan ahead, choose an area with access to either running water or ocean, pooled water doesn't Replenish

4 ) Assume that you will have no trade for the foreseeable future, also assume that you may not be able to take in migrants

5 ) Dig fast, Move all your Stuff inside and seal off the outside, you can make a Real entrance later....

6 ) Make slabs early, those migrants who WILL die outside are probably gonna come back and bug you

7 ) Don't let migrants who have been outside for an extended time in, burrow them away then let in Dorf McGreatWeaponsmith

8 ) Dead Bodies( like drugs) are bad mmm'kay?

9 ) Wood is a precious Resource, treat it with respect and love. When your fort is about to fall turn it into walls to prevent scatter

10) Be careful with "Danger Rooms" its all fun and game until McUnlucky has is brains crushed in, then its a Zombie Apocalypse   

[rridgway]

Something I've noticed that seems to work in halting zombie infestations is having traps scattered around the fortress, be they weapon, cage, or some combination. They'll slice, and capture, slowing or even halting the spread.

[Loud Whispers]

11) Rush to the wonderful world of the underground, or prepare to fight.

12) When preparing to fight, ensure you have a large amount of hammers and hammerers.

13) Hammers aren't any better against the undead, they're just cheap and effective.

14) Marksdwarves are an excellent defense against the undead.

15) Marksdwarves run out of ammo.

16) You should try find more ammo before you notice they only have 3 copper bolts each.

17) Oh god the ravens

[Eoganachta]

I always bring enough building materials to enclose my wagon from the outside, including a roof. depending on the region I this works about 50% of the time from experience. Never try to claim more than you can hold; it might seem like a good idea to enclose a larger area but every time I tried this everyone died. Have a single entrance until all your supplies are underground and then seal it. Also cage traps work wonders for zombies, it stops them reanimating and you can make some nasty traps with them. Also if you want meat bring non-grazers and make sure you dump anything that might reanimate down a very deep hole. I had a few puppy skins mopping about in one such pit.

[slink]

It wasn't really elephants, it was walking corpses of children and pets killed by yak cartilage, but the idea is the same.   

[FalseDead]

18) Don't lose the fort... Reclaiming a fort is hard enough without Ambushing undead in the fort....

19) Probably shouldn't even try to reclaim things things outside the fort.... except for the anvil, I kinda need that....

20) Time doe's not in fact heal all wounds, it merely allows the undead to recruit....

[NecroRebel]

21. Use the single-access-point caravan route exploit. Making a 3-wide tunnel to 4-5 tiles away from the map edge, digging an up ramp there, and then sealing it off with walls and raised drawbridges all the way to the map edge can allow you to actually get caravans in, as they will always spawn in that spot and few other things will. Doesn't help with migrants or diplomats, though.

22. Have ways to permanently destroy corpses, like atom smashers or chutes to the magma sea, and refuse orders set so that corpses, skins, and hair are all dumped automatically. If you can permanently rid yourself of corpses before they stand up again, they'll never try to kill you.