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Author Topic: Accidentally slaughtered 68 (flying) mounted goblins!  (Read 4556 times)

miauw62

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Re: Accidentally slaughtered 68 (flying) mounted goblins!
« Reply #15 on: March 30, 2012, 11:24:15 am »

Awesome.
Thats why i love dwarf fortress, the sheer amounts of random are just so amusing to look at.
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

hjd_uk

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Re: Accidentally slaughtered 68 (flying) mounted goblins!
« Reply #16 on: March 30, 2012, 11:46:02 am »

Y'see everythign is better with Magma.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Accidentally slaughtered 68 (flying) mounted goblins!
« Reply #17 on: March 30, 2012, 12:10:21 pm »

Oh Artificial Idiots, how you amuse us all with your foolery!
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

RAKninja

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Re: Accidentally slaughtered 68 (flying) mounted goblins!
« Reply #18 on: March 30, 2012, 01:47:23 pm »

Those weren't goblins.  That level of stupidity, and that loss of life through so many harmless actions, each leading to a massive suicide...

Those are green dwarves.  There's no other explanation for that level of stupid.
green skinned, bearded...  we're all urist on the inside.

That sounds like Goblin Thief talk to me... Or possibly a Vampire... Where's the Hammerer?!


Now and then, every once in a very long while, every day in a million days, when the wind stands fair, and the !!Fun!! comes to call... the Goblins get the receiving end of it instead of the fledgeling fort they invaded.”
*checks sig*

umm....  either Master Thief or Warlord, but yes, goblin.

but there is quite an upside to being a goblin.  my experience has shown that goblins fight elves almost as much as dwarves fight goblins.

the reasons that dwarves and goblins fight are many, but here are the chart toppers:

5-  dwarves are willing to trade with the elves.  snodub would rather impale them all on -long iron pikes-.

4-  dwarves refuse to see the delight of troll ranching and insist on raising those blasphemous beasts, cats and dogs.

3-  goblins are more faithful to armok.  their devotion is so strong that they will willingly send each other to his arms with no provocation.  the dwarves remain not as enlightened.

2- goblins could probably learn to make steel, but they find taking it from the dwarves to be more fun.  unfortunately, the dwarves do not take this good naturedly.

1- aside from the murder discusses earlier, goblins are hostile to anyone not in the "local group"...  though they can be neutral to some...  if goblins cannot even get along with their own kind, they have no chance of getting along with outsiders.


and some of that perhaps made more sense than i had meant it to.
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Goblin Fortress (NOW UPDATED FOR 34.02!
magma on his bed when he is sleeping, works every time

GavJ

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Re: Accidentally slaughtered 68 (flying) mounted goblins!
« Reply #19 on: March 30, 2012, 11:12:54 pm »

Update: After the siege, 1/3 of my fortress bled do death, as they decided to path around the entire map THROUGH multiple restricted traffic cost 25 movement areas and down stairs partially flooded with lava (attempting to dodge in between the individual lava tiles) in order to get a drink of alcohol, instead of drinking from the perfectly safe lake 10 feet from the front door.

Tantrum spiral and fail.

...lsEKJnfws
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Cauliflower Labs – Geologically realistic world generator devblog

Dwarf fortress in 50 words: You start with seven alcoholic, manic-depressive dwarves. You build a fortress in the wilderness where EVERYTHING tries to kill you, including your own dwarves. Usually, your chief imports are immigrants, beer, and optimism. Your chief exports are misery, limestone violins, forest fires, elf tallow soap, and carved kitten bone.

ThatAussieGuy

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Re: Accidentally slaughtered 68 (flying) mounted goblins!
« Reply #20 on: March 30, 2012, 11:41:26 pm »

Update: After the siege, 1/3 of my fortress bled do death, as they decided to path around the entire map THROUGH multiple restricted traffic cost 25 movement areas and down stairs partially flooded with lava (attempting to dodge in between the individual lava tiles) in order to get a drink of alcohol, instead of drinking from the perfectly safe lake 10 feet from the front door.

Tantrum spiral and fail.

...lsEKJnfws

Goblins melting themselves is both a surprise and amusing.  This is just a typical day in any dwarf fort  :P.  Your best bet is probably to quarantine the tantrummers and wait it out

Sadrice

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Re: Accidentally slaughtered 68 (flying) mounted goblins!
« Reply #21 on: March 31, 2012, 12:40:10 am »

And forbid the booze, and anything else still down there, if you haven't yet.
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psychologicalshock

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Re: Accidentally slaughtered 68 (flying) mounted goblins!
« Reply #22 on: March 31, 2012, 01:15:51 am »

Forbidden booze? A truly dark chapter in a fortress' history.
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