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Author Topic: The Unlikely Candidate  (Read 751 times)

martinuzz

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The Unlikely Candidate
« on: February 22, 2012, 09:05:37 pm »

My vampire just got elected to be Mayor.
That is..
My vampire, that has been walled off from mu population since his arrival, and my vampire, whose relations list does not even list a single resident dwarf as passing acquintance. It does list 10 children, about 40 nieces and nephews, a few hands full of uncles and aunts, parents and grandparents.
I can only imagine it going something like this:

Urist McErrand: Listen up folks, the Baron has made a new demand!
Urists McDwarves: Gods no, not again.
Urist McErrand: No worries. He doesn't want slade earrings this time.
Urist McPessimist: Really?
Urist McHammerer: Damn
Urist McErrand: Yeah. The Baron demands that from amongst your midst, you choose a Mayor, who can relieve the Baron of his tiresome duty of taking the blame when things go wrong.
Urist McOptimist: Nice, power to the people!
Urist McErrand: Ofcourse, said Mayor will be held responsible for everything that can and will go wrong, whether it be planned by your Baron's brilliant foresight, or accident. Now, do we have any volunteers?
Urists Mcdwarves: ...
Urist McBright: Wait.. Don't we have a vampire dwarf locked up somewhere?
Urist McSceptic: Dunno, never actually seen it. Are you saying, that sealed coffin those royal guards delivered to the Baron actually contained a vampire?
Urist McMason: At least the Baron seems to think so. He ordered me to wall off a room, after placing said coffin there.
Urist McBright: Well, technically, it would still be a dwarf (albeit a very sick dwarf), right?
Urists McDwarves: I suppose.
Urist McBright: Let's elect him as our Mayor! What better symbol of our supression, than a poor diseased dwarf walled off for eternity?
Urists Mcdwarves: Agree

Logged
Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Loud Whispers

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Re: The Unlikely Candidate
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2012, 09:06:57 pm »

The result of constant speech skillz.

tommy521

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Re: The Unlikely Candidate
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2012, 09:09:40 pm »

He talks to them though the air vents.

martinuzz

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Re: The Unlikely Candidate
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2012, 09:11:51 pm »

The result of constant speech skillz.

He has some speech skills, that he arrived with. But since then, he has talked to no-one. There's a lot of dwarves that have better speech skills than him. It's the long list of relatives that caused him to be elected, I believe they count as 'friends' for election purposes.
Logged
Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479