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[malroth]

Me :Hey!

Me: HEY!

Me: HEY SANTA!

Santa: WHAT?!!!

Me: POLAR BEAR £:<

Santa: AOUHGAIHGKAnGKNSKASNGAGUAGMUUUUUUAUUUUU


Don't work with elves kids, or you will be mauled to death by a polar bear.

Lets see  Beard, blood red suit that never gets washed, Enslaves elves and forces them to make wood crafts which he then dumps, Spends 364 days a year on break,  and has a !!Liginite coal bin!! for anyone on his "Naughty" list   sounds like a fairly respectable dwarf to me.

[Loud Whispers]

mehbeh imposter Santa? ;P

[RabidAnubis]

Could you do this with humans or elves though?  Like, have them breed on site?

You could sacrafice them instead of the dwarves.  In fact, I actually value my dwarves.

[Geen]

~snip~  In fact, I actually value my dwarves.

In fact, I actually value my dwarves.
In fact, I actually value my dwarves.
In fact, I actually value my dwarves.

WHAT?!

[RabidAnubis]

~snip~  In fact, I actually value my dwarves.

In fact, I actually value my dwarves.
In fact, I actually value my dwarves.
In fact, I actually value my dwarves.

WHAT?!

Yeah.  I'm not letting them be slaves to armok.

I try to make them be armok.  Who likes a full golden fortress?  Walls of gold, floors of gold?  If it's not gold its obsidian.

[evileeyore]

Speaking of Sparta and cliffs and whatnot, I think I shall use the - Ahem -  lesser canines as bridge-a-pult ammo.

This thread just got darker.

Oh never-mind it was just a passing dog blocking out the sun, proceed.

Dwarf Mayor:  Gobbo, our dogs are so numerous they shall blot out the sun!

Gob Diplomat:  All the better for then we shall fight in the ... err wait a minute...

[Loud Whispers]

Speaking of Sparta and cliffs and whatnot, I think I shall use the - Ahem -  lesser canines as bridge-a-pult ammo.

This thread just got darker.

Oh never-mind it was just a passing dog blocking out the sun, proceed.

Dwarf Mayor:  Gobbo, our dogs are so numerous they shall blot out the sun!

Gob Diplomat:  All the better for then we shall fight in the ... err wait a minute...

*Splat*

[zehive]

A couple of things.

1) I can confirm the the following is meaningless. My polar bears are doing the exact same things.
This implies, fundamentally, that good research is being done!

2) I can also confirm that I may be becoming desensitized to dwarven violence after having a prison breech release 10 or so goblins, who proceeded to beat down the guards and move through the lower areas of the fort, destroying the various crews for my major systems. The was a major flood in the lower access tunnels that drowned two and stranded a number of miners in with the trogs in the caverns. Still, the bears were untouched and unaffected. Things should still work.

3) I can also say, the response time of the various military units is slow. If the fortress is to be maintained, I will need to pull back from the caverns and set up a checkpoint in one of the control tunnels. Miners are cheap, loosing test subjects and experimental tools are not.

Congratz on dealing with your first break out.

Also lol Fat polah bahs.

Yeah, well I don't keep prisoners. They generally get used for training and live fire exercises. I also have a nifty firing squad wall, the get dumped into the pit, the soldiers move into position on one side, the bridge drops, they open fire.

My polah bah based research is of the highest caliber. Everything from quantum fur to blubber density is being checked to ensure top seal and goblin eating proportions!

My prisoners are, literally, dropped straight into hell.

[jamesadelong]

Yes, well I need my prisoners for a bit of sideline research in determining the effectiveness of various characteristics. Would if I could, I generally volcanize them, then flood the surface with water, then use the obsidian floor as the ground floor to a rising city up through the rest of the volcano. *sniff* They are so beautiful! Lots of walkways spanning the distance, every so often an unlucky dwarf dodges a goblin or an avian creature and falls great distances and explodes on impact. One time, a dwarf survived out of sheer luck by falling onto the walkway below. Then he ceased surviving as he punched a hole through the floor and kept moving. It was awesome.

Anyway, as for this little research base, I just found a flat bit of ground and dug out a little sanctuary under the snow. A pair drawbridges acts as a door, lifting up like a silo hatch whenever we need to collect timber, or take prisoners.