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[Shmo]

I've just had a uniquely hilarious - though of course terrible, yadda yadda - experience with trapping an elven caravan.

It all starts out unremarkably. I lock the savages in the depot room, wait for them to lose their minds and die so that I can have their wooden flutes and low quality "organic" cloth. After some gory business a single berserk donkey, just a regular donkey, is still alive inside the room. At this point I think to myself, it's just a donkey, they're not that big or strong, right? So I make two rush squads from all the immigrants I've yet to sequester into mindless tasks, unlock the door and storm the animal.

Little did I know that this act would end up costing me roughly 40 lives (out of a population of 60). After massacring everyone in both squads in about 5000 frames, the donkey rampaged through the fort, one-shot-killing most dwarves it came across. It even did in the tough, strong and agile miners, which I found incredibly surprising because I've had miners nix even titans' fun with a well-placed blow of the pick. Eventually the donkey ran into an access tunnel where I locked it in until it died (of laughter, I assume).

So I'm wondering, what gives? Is this just terrible luck? Was I underestimating the power of common farm animals? Does berserkness give merchant animals ungodly power? Share similar experiences if you have them.

P.S. Sadly it didn't occur to me to pictorially document the bloodbath, but just imagine a bauxite fortress with lots of dwarf engravings.

[restricted]

Donkeys are much bigger than dwarves. Donkey hooves can penetrate low grade armors. Donkeys can kill forts without iron.

[sambojin]

All living domestic animals with hooves tend to punch above their weight. Or kick in this case.

I'm not sure why, but it seems to be as though they can apply just about all of their weight and size to one foot, at good speed. Think of little, hoof-sized warhammers, swinging fast, with the mass of a donkey/horse/alpaca in them. E=MC^2x "the mass of a donkey" is a fairly common equation in DF. Cubically proportioned amounts of ass-kicking so to speak.

[Shmo]

The more you know! The natural next question to arise is: will berserk donkeys graze, or, more generally, is it possible to keep them alive indefinitely? Because if the answer is yes then a wonderful new flavour of arena comes to mind.

"Where are you taking me, weak little dwarf? One of your cowardly drop pits to follow up on your pathetic cages?"
"I'm taking ye to the petting zoo!"
"The... petting zoo? You mean you're going to feed me to a dangerous and exotic beast!"
"No, I mean the petting zoo, ye numbskull. Donkeys, llamas, horses!"
"Well, that doesn't sound at all ba... no... no, NO! IT'S FROM HEEEELLLLLLGHGHghghghhhchc"

[uncanny soul]

Dwarf fortress: Crushing beautiful childhood memories since 2006

[Boost One]

CRONCRETE DRONKEY!?

I lost my first real fort to the rage of Whitelash Daub Twist, the racist donkey.

I'm bloody glad only the merchants can come back as ghosts.

[Mitchewawa]

Donkeys are notorious for being an epic dick. Woe be he who annoys an ass.

[Meistermoxx]

Only Necro would know what to do in such a situation.....

[Pokon]

Fun fact: I have a small "stable" of hostile Unicorns in my currant My Little Zebra fort. Not pony Unicorns, but actual DF Unicorns. They are all named, even the foals, because they have killed quite a large number of earth and unicorns over the history of my fort. They are also wild caught and untamed, and they are all locked outside in a dry moat basin, meaning that, in lew of crocadiles, I have a herd of horned equines that, my my sick mind, spear all who fall into it with there horns, spike pit style. Its truly a sick thing to see them bucher the helpless ponies who, now with broken legs, can do nothing as they gore them to death.

[Tevish Szat]

Fun fact: I have a small "stable" of hostile Unicorns in my currant My Little Zebra fort. Not pony Unicorns, but actual DF Unicorns. They are all named, even the foals, because they have killed quite a large number of earth and unicorns over the history of my fort. They are also wild caught and untamed, and they are all locked outside in a dry moat basin, meaning that, in lew of crocadiles, I have a herd of horned equines that, my my sick mind, spear all who fall into it with there horns, spike pit style. Its truly a sick thing to see them bucher the helpless ponies who, now with broken legs, can do nothing as they gore them to death.

I now have the desire to do something similar, a wild unicorn pen...

Only I want to use a walled off section of coast.  Every square in the unicorn "pen" has to be one that waves regularly touch.  They wouldn't serve a defensive purpose like yours do unless I *really* messed with invader pathing, but I have it on good authority that the sight would be a thing of beauty.