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Author Topic: What is the most idiotic Artifact(s) that your dwarves made?  (Read 4621 times)

acetech09

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Re: What is the most idiotic Artifact(s) that your dwarves made?
« Reply #45 on: August 19, 2011, 11:45:39 pm »

Allas Gaschoz, a lead shoe. Not a lead shoe menacing with spikes of diamonds and depicting the end of days, a lead shoe with bands of lead. It is a goddamn irregular shoe that imbunes it's wielder with the magical power to rapidly drown.


Give it to your mayor. I'm sure he'll drown look cool by wearing to a dip in your local stream.
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Benedict Hardy

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Re: What is the most idiotic Artifact(s) that your dwarves made?
« Reply #46 on: August 20, 2011, 10:47:33 am »

A
« Last Edit: March 29, 2018, 11:39:30 am by Benedict Hardy »
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Professor Plum

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Re: What is the most idiotic Artifact(s) that your dwarves made?
« Reply #47 on: August 20, 2011, 11:43:46 am »

My current fortress has only two artifacts. Both of them are animal traps. The Drips of Showers a violet spessartine animal trap and Gloomydrenched the Rack of Neutrality an iron animal trap.
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Oaktree

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Re: What is the most idiotic Artifact(s) that your dwarves made?
« Reply #48 on: August 20, 2011, 05:35:58 pm »

My current fortress has a dozen artifacts:
 - A recursive cedar bow
- two figurines (one adamantine, one green glass)
- two separate granite earrings
- a buffalo bone crown
- a siltstone amulet
- a rose quartz ring
- a siltstone mug
- siltstone floodgate <-- that might be useful for sealing something off
- a sheep wool thong
and a coffin made of galena.

The coffin is the sole item in the Royal Tomb.

I have a lot of skilled stonecarvers at this point...
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Mount

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Re: What is the most idiotic Artifact(s) that your dwarves made?
« Reply #49 on: August 20, 2011, 10:54:26 pm »

I'm more amused by this than disappointed.

One of my dwarves went moody and kept yelling for bones.  To meet his demands I had to order about half of my baby animals slaughtered, including a duckling.  This was a sad, sad day in my fortress.

He made a bone bed called The Permanencies of Guilt.

That made me lol.  And then I hated myself a little. 

My most useless artifact was a kaolinite HATCH COVER. For the record, kaolinite is the "Kao" part of "Kaopectate."  Yeah, my dwarf got possessed, and made a freakin' hatch cover that relieves the symptoms of diarrhea.  I installed it in the dining hall. 
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