"Before you ask, let me just tell you what I know about last night," Steve says, clearly annoyed. "Ok so there's a government lab in Southern California near the Salton Sea. You see, we call it the lake. I know, it's a poor attempt at humor. Anyway, I'm there because there's some FDA testing going on there. There's this new drug to treat baldness, and apparently I'm in the 'rare chance of side-effect' category. Now they're studying me to try to get what's wrong. Pain in the ass, but it pays well."
Man this guy can never get to the point. At least there's one less mystery to consider.
"To get back to the matter," he continues, "Last night I was sleeping, doing an overnight. Next thing I know, there's all kinds of ruckus going on outside my room. Shouts, gunfire, the works. You ran into my room and made motions like I was supposed to be quiet and hid under the bed. It was the damnedest thing - you were some strange sort of stumbling drunk and surprisingly nimble. I can't explain it."
"When was this?"
"Well, guards burst in looking for you almost immediately, so I didn't exactly get a chance to look. Apparently you have no self-control when it comes to hiding (or whatever you were on doesn't), because you just picked up the bed and flung it at them. Luckily I fell off the back and was not a projectile. Those guys definitely had a bad day. After that, you picked me up, fireman style, and just started runnin'. Scared the bejeezus out of me just trying to hold on with the scenery just whipping by. I have no idea where we slept, but you just stopped at some house and immediately crashed. There was absolutely no waking you. There wasn't a couch or anything like that, and since you were out, and since it was a king-sized bed, I figured no harm if I joined you. And no. Nothing happened."
Well that's a relief.
"Well," you say with a heavy sigh, "Now what?"