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Author Topic: Where are the fucking goblins?!  (Read 616 times)

Mister Always

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Where are the fucking goblins?!
« on: May 16, 2011, 02:56:02 pm »
My entryway is trapped all to cock and back, I've got 117 dwarves and I've got just short of two and a half MILLION wealth in my fortress. It's been running for about four years. All I've seen are seven snatchers. It's been running for three years (this fort is unexpectedly fast-growing...), and that's all. The goblin civ is on the civ list (it's got a P next to it, but I can't recall ever seeing a W behind the goblin civ) and it's full of juicy dwarves that need killing.

I haven't even seen a fucking AMBUSH yet. (There was an ettin, though. And that was all.)

Where are they?!
« Last Edit: May 16, 2011, 03:04:08 pm by Mister Always »
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Mister Always

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Re: Where are the fucking goblins?!
« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2011, 03:06:22 pm »
Whoop, nevermind. Here's a siege. Just too late to kill the elven caravan, sadly.
« Last Edit: May 16, 2011, 03:07:59 pm by Mister Always »
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"""The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit." - W. Somerset Maugham" -Forumite" -Mister Always

Mister Always

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Re: Where are the fucking goblins?!
« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2011, 03:13:53 pm »
...their leader's voracious cave crawler died, he got his foot cut off by a serrated disc trap, and then they called it a day.

Lame...
« Last Edit: May 16, 2011, 03:17:59 pm by Mister Always »
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"""The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit." - W. Somerset Maugham" -Forumite" -Mister Always

tolkafox

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Re: Where are the fucking goblins?!
« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2011, 03:41:35 pm »
Take out all the traps. Real dwarves beat goblins heads in with gold studded silver warhammers.

Seriously though, the most fun and Fun from combat comes from a well trained military, not traps. 10 is more than enough to deal with sieges if they're equipped with steel armor.
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Jarhyn

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Re: Where are the fucking goblins?!
« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2011, 04:15:11 pm »
do decorations like studs actually affect the weight of the weapon? so if I studded my cotton candy axes with lead, gold, platinum, and iron, would they be even more awesome?

Edit: N/M. sadly this doesn't work. :(
« Last Edit: May 16, 2011, 04:17:59 pm by Jarhyn »
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Hyndis

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Re: Where are the fucking goblins?!
« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2011, 04:22:42 pm »
My most boring fort was one with a bridge of doom design. It was a simple, highly effective, and completely fool proof design. Nothing stood a chance. It just slaughtered everything with immense ease.

Too easy. :(


These days I use soldiers as my main line of defense. I only use traps for places that I don't expect an attack, such as to protect the fort from the caverns from hostile wildlife, or from things crawling out of the magma. Traps guard low traffic places. The main gate is protected by steel clad dwarven warriors. They don't even get fortifications. Only dwarven steel.
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outofpractice

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Re: Where are the fucking goblins?!
« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2011, 07:25:55 pm »
Complaining about a lack of goblins hitting on your wonderful dwarves you say?

Download Fortress Defence Mod II (challenge / or bonus version).. You'll never go a year without sieges, or most likely a season. And the fun part is the majority of them are trap avoid.
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