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[Itnetlolor]

Jester, I believe you have right to keep that name. That was an awesome list.

The suicide note one was probably one of the best.

Here's one to add:
Act like you're working at a call center yourself or are another scammer and attempt to sell them something instead. If they become paranoid that you're stealing their information or scamming them instead, then you win.

[Nikov]

Actually trace the call, obviously. Then get some diesel, a few bottles, rags, gasoline, Styrofoam, two small skidsteers, lighters, a set of Christmas lights with size D bulbs, a five iron, and a duck. Obviously, you'll also need to use your own tools, duct tape, baling wire, and duct tape.

You should know what to do from there.

Don't try to substitute the duck for a chicken. I tried that once and the whole trigger array got jammed.

[Burnt Pies]

Only the trigger array? You were lucky the primary supports didn't break and result in premature launch. I saw that happen once; it took us 5 hours to dig the poor guy out.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

It's really for the best that the trigger array failed there. Without the specific dimentions of a chicken for the feedback loop, the array not getting jammed could bring down the moon. Literally. The moon, crashed into your yard, waking up all the neighbors and getting the police angry at you. There was a youtube video of it, but someone filed a DMCA for violation of lunar copyrights.

[Nikov]

You actually recover the duck?

Also what brand of duct tape does THAT?

[Darvi]

Duck tape.