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Author Topic: Badger Food ಠ_ಠ  (Read 1679 times)

Girlinhat

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Badger Food ಠ_ಠ
« on: May 10, 2011, 03:52:50 am »

So I had a honey badger break into my fort as I was building my wall.  As a result, over half of the wall was suspended from rage-spam.  This only stopped when the badger grabbed a single strawberry and ran away.  As he left, my metalsmith (blacksmithing and metalcrafting lvl 5 from starting 7) ran after it.  It became enraged, and the smith ran, and then ran back at it...  After a half dozen times, I decided "He's trying to stockpile the food again or some shit" so I "v" the badger, check its inventory, and forbid the fruit.  The smith continues another dozen times.  I go to double-check, maybe I hadn't forbidden it?  The food is owned, this little smidgen of red fruit is slated to be eaten by none other than my smith, who had apparently claimed the food for eating just before the badger grabbed it.

At first I said, "Hmm, he's a starting 7 and my metalsmith, I should help him!"

Then I said, "It's summer of year 1, I have no weapons and only two available soldier types.  If he gets his arm bitten off or dodges into a pool, it's his problem."

Then after watching this dance for a solid 5 minutes (at 100 FPS) I realized... this dwarf, this little ball of beard and spite, was facing down a Honey Badger.  He, clad in the most mismatching of leather and wool scraps, has taken it to mind that he's going to wrestle these two strawberries out from under a honey badger's nose.  The same creature that will tear down a Giant Jaguar, put on a pair of sunglasses, and then go tear down your Legendary+5 Armorsmith who ran outside for a drink escorted by 5 war dogs, this very same creature, this dwarf stared down and said, "Ye've got me dinner there." and said it as a threat!

You there!  Urist McMason!  You've got some statues to make for this hero!

hjd_uk

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Re: Badger Food ಠ_ಠ
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2011, 04:18:25 am »

:D
Strawberries are mysterious top-side fruit that only grow under the firey puke-orb, they are delicious treasure.
Plus, it didn't steal anyone's food, it stole his food, right from his plate, he'd have to comit Dwarven Hara-kiri if he let any old (enormous dangerous) vermin steal his lunch.

Trap/Hunt the badger and have it turned into socks / backpack / waterskin / bone helm etc for him.
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nanomage

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Re: Badger Food ಠ_ಠ
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2011, 05:32:38 am »

I'd suggest you draft your smith as a recruit and make him kill that badger.
most likely he will punch the little thing to the death, after all dwarves are much larger than honey badgers.
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Mister Always

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Re: Badger Food ಠ_ಠ
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2011, 06:20:46 am »

That dwarf has something in common with the honey badger, in that when they want food, they fuckin' take it.

I wonder who'll have a leg ripped off first...
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Psieye

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Re: Badger Food ಠ_ಠ
« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2011, 06:22:38 am »

Hmm, given the badger has the strawberries grasped in its mouth, doesn't that mean it cannot bite unless it drops them first? Dwarf has the advantage.
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Congrats, Psieye. This is the first time I've seen a derailed thread get put back on the rails.

Yoink

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Re: Badger Food ಠ_ಠ
« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2011, 06:30:46 am »

Hmm, given the badger has the strawberries grasped in its mouth, doesn't that mean it cannot bite unless it drops them first? Dwarf has the advantage.

LOL! I laughed so much at the mental image here--

Dwarf: Gimme back me dinner, ye bastard! *Runs fowards, fists raised*
Badger: *Speaking with a mouthful* Nuh-uh! *Glowers angrily, but keeps the berries clamped firmly in its teeth*
And then the dwarf starts whaling on it, as it steadfastly refuses to drop the coveted strawberries... :D

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Girlinhat

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Re: Badger Food ಠ_ಠ
« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2011, 12:55:00 pm »

Actually, I was waiting for one of them to get critically wounded, but the smith became hungry and went to get a different strawberry (for real, we've got hundreds!) and the badger wandered off with its theft.

Naz

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Re: Badger Food ಠ_ಠ
« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2011, 01:36:32 pm »

Actually, I was waiting for one of them to get critically wounded, but the smith became hungry and went to get a different strawberry (for real, we've got hundreds!) and the badger wandered off with its theft.

Lame. Was hoping for some report about how the dwarf bites the strawberries, latches on firmly then proceeds to have a tug of war with the badger
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Syrup Roast

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Re: Badger Food ಠ_ಠ
« Reply #8 on: May 10, 2011, 01:38:26 pm »

Actually, I was waiting for one of them to get critically wounded, but the smith became hungry and went to get a different strawberry (for real, we've got hundreds!) and the badger wandered off with its theft.

Lame. Was hoping for some report about how the dwarf bites the strawberries, latches on firmly then proceeds to have a tug of war with the badger
Then you realize that after obtaining the strawberries, he'd most likely drop them and run away in some random direction after realizing there's a badger.
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Necro910

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Re: Badger Food ಠ_ಠ
« Reply #9 on: May 10, 2011, 02:29:15 pm »

Actually, I was waiting for one of them to get critically wounded, but the smith became hungry and went to get a different strawberry (for real, we've got hundreds!) and the badger wandered off with its theft.

Lame. Was hoping for some report about how the dwarf bites the strawberries, latches on firmly then proceeds to have a tug of war with the badger
Then you realize that after obtaining the strawberries, he'd most likely drop them and run away in some random direction after realizing there's a badger.
I'd sig this if I had room.  :'(

The URL's went badger on my character limit's ass.

Naz

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Re: Badger Food ಠ_ಠ
« Reply #10 on: May 10, 2011, 03:03:20 pm »

Dwarf: *hurls himself at the badger* GIMME BACK MY DINNER YOU FUZZY BASTARD! *Urist McWeaponsmith latches onto the strawberries with his teeth*

Badger: Grrrrrrrrr

*epic tug of war ensues*

Dwarf: *Gets berries free* HA! Berries for me...*looks down at badger*

Badger: *enrages*

Dwarf: *drops berries mid-bite and runs away screaming* FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...

Badger: *nom nom nom*
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