Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Supermikhail]

I guess I shouldn't drop out silently, but I've had a lot of self-doubt recently, and I'm not sure I'm actually qualified to guide other people in writing craft, so I'd like to concentrate on my own writing. I don't know what kind of feedback I can give, the last chapter definitely doesn't seem to be my cup of tea. All I see is unnecessary pathos, lack of reason, caricature villains... I'm into realism, I usually just don't understand abstract, surreal things.

He'd know the sound of that traitor wherever he heard him.

See if it sounds better replaced by this: "Traitor, Bill thought clenching his hand around the hilt of the sword."

If not, it probably means that I'm out of my league in this matter, and will do more harm trying to help.

[CJ1145]

Well, I'm sorry to hear you're having issues, but I appreciate any feedback you can give. I'm not relying on you to guide me, if that's too much pressure, but I like to get opinions from as many people as possible so I can learn from that.

And to be honest, Chuck is not going to be a major villain, he's pretty much in there because one of my friends was really intrigued by his bit part in chapter 2 and wanted more of him, so I thought it would be a chance to expand Bill's backstory a bit. These last two chapters were kind of a tone shift since it was an entirely different character, so I guess there would be some marked differences.