You have a suddenly extreme urge to cover yourself in cream cheese, but you don't have cream cheese, nor do you have the facilities to make bubblegum. You tell a secretary to order both of those things, then crash on the couch. An hour goes by. Two hours. Three. When will that music stop?! You are becoming consumed by rage of an unimaginable scale at Pierre Kirby's theme, and begin dismantling your furniture to find the remote control to his theme song. Sawing off the legs of every chair, couch, and table yielded nothing, searching through the plumbing did nothing, where could it possibly be?!
After recovering from your panic attack, you say hello to Mr. Kirby. He says hello back, then hands you a remote control to his theme song... Success! You begin repairing everything you dismantled, and now have less than questionable furniture, toothpaste bottles full of shampoo, and the plumbing to everything goes to everything else. You also appear to be missing half your shoes. Literally, every pair of shoes you own appears to be missing the left shoe.
The president calls and informs you that taking care of his cat has become too much of a bother, so he's signed ownership over to you. In the unlikely event that you die, the president has also been signed as your next of kin. You step outside for a bit of fresh air and notice that you have mail. It's a... garden gnome? Huh?! It vanished!
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Topic: A Lone Man's Progress. (Read 6980 times)