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[TALLPANZER]

The oldest son of the Black Hat family watched the wagon slowly roll towards the great stone doors of the mountain home. "Stop!" he screamed, "you don't have to do this!" The thundering of the many gears turning did little to blunt his cry, but still the doors gradually, painfully, opened to the outside. "THIS IS MURDER!" bellowed the now red-faced scion. A muskox and a donkey pulled the squeaky-wheeled cart out the doors and into the light. "IT'S A DEATH SENTENCE, FOR ARMOK'S SAKE! SOME BONE AARDVARKING CRAFTS! THAT'S WHAT THIS IS FOR! ALL THEY DID WAS NOT MAKE SOME STUPID BONE CRAFTS, AND SHE IS SENDING THEM TO AN UNDEAD-FILLED GLACIER! DAMN YOU ALL!!!!".

Heavy creaking and groaning signaled the closing of the grand entrance. He railed on the impassive slate with all the rage he could muster, then he turned to the dwarves milling about the Fortress, not a care in the world, while this, this monstrosity, unfolded right before their eyes! Now his eyes burned with the heat of myriad magma forges. The young Black Hat grabbed the nearest guard and threw him bodily into the closest craft shop. "RIOT!!!!" he shouted, and, as if on cue, younger dwarves all over the mountain home went wild. Walls were torn down, shops toppled, roads smashed, levers pulled, and floors flipped. Screams of "NO MORE HEADSHOOTS!" and, "WE ARE DONE WITH DEATH TRAPS!" echoed all through the halls.

OOC: Hi all, TALLPANZER AKA Mr. BlackHat here. I plan to basically build a "bread basket" fort. There will be some odd rules for this. #1 ABSOLUTELY NO MAKING CRAFTS FOR TRADE! We trade food, booze, wood, stone, metal, and that's all! #2 we take only what we need from the ground. This means we only dig to get stone and metal, period! #3 We live above ground (mostly), under ground stores and tombs are fine, but that's all. #4 Keep wealth down, we export goods here, not hoard them. #5 no engraving. The only exceptions to this rule are tombs. #6 the mantle of leadership is passed when asked. Finally #7 (this is the most important rule) KEEP DWARVES ALIVE! You will do everything in your power to keep the dwarves alive, EVERYTHING!

To start, I need two farmers (one of whitch must have some herbalism) two hunters, and two wild cards; I'll be making a Steel Dwarf Animal Handler for myself.

Questions? comments? Random insults? Actual participation?

Edited for many reasons

[Di]

I'd like to get that herbalist dwarf.
Demetry (Demetra for a girl), just make sure to assign him something sharp via military (a dagger would be awesome).
As for leadership, I doubt I'll be able to take that in near future (month or two) but I could step in if you last that long.

[TALLPANZER]

YAY! Someone actually joined a fort I am running! As a result, more story:

The queen paced in her throne room. The BlackHats, again. In her two years of rule she had learned what all rulers of the Exalted works learn: you do not mess with the BlackHat Family. Once (and only once) she had ordered one of them beaten for not filling a work order for raw green glass doors. When the Hammerer had reached the Mason's home, ten burly BlackHats were waiting for him. They piled on him, tore off his armor, dragged him naked to the dinning hall and proceeded to punch him until they had broken every bone in his body. Said Hammerer was still in the hospital. No one would raise a hand towards them now, these sons and daughters of the Dungeon Master.

Speaking of which... *Kur-Clunk* he was on his way *Kur-Clunk* to meet the Queen *Kur-Clunk*. "Dungeon Master 'Stone Leg,'" half-croaked the queen as he walked into her chambers. The imposing figure of a Steel Dwarf that stood in the doorway was over five Urists tall, and had a snow-white beard so long and graceful that it made Dwarfettes a less then a third his age swoon and blush. "A third his age would be 102 years now," thought the queen, her mind wandering to the truly disturbing feature of this old Dwarf: below the knee, his left leg was not a leg at all, but a high boot carved from slate, fused there with alchemy.

He smiled broadly. "Call Me Great Gramps, like the little BlackHats do."

The queen swallowed. "I called you here because.."

"...of the Boy," he cut her off. BlackHat the younger: both of them knew this was not the first riot he had started. The younger dwarves and dwarfettes hung off his every word; he was just so assertive. "I'll talk to him." said the clan head.

Hearing this, the queen breathed a sigh of relief, and thanked him.

OOC: Di, you are now a farmer with 4 in herbalism, 4 in farming fields, and 2 in knife use.

Edited for many reasons

[celem]

eh i'll have a hunter.  gender and caste dont matter so much, though if you got an obsidian i find those hilarious.

[bayar]

I'll take the other hunter. Gender is not important, upper class (but not nobility), hunts for pleasure. Bayar if male, Deidrianna if female ^^

[TALLPANZER]

OOC: you are both in, Bayer is our High-born hunter, with 4 in crossbow, and one in each of: persuader, negotiator, liar, intimidator, judge of intent, and appraiser. Celem gets 5 in crossbow, 2 in ambusher, and one in each of: armor-user, dodger, and swimmer.

Two impressively-crafted granite thrones stood across from each other at a long cobalt dining table. In one sat BlackHat the Younger, in the other, Dungeon Master "Stone Leg". This was the BlackHat family's private dining hall, the perfect place to bring up family matters. "They sent seven more to their deaths today," said the younger as he stabbed the boar meat on his plate.

"I had heard," said the clan head, "or rather I heard about the riot you caused afterword... no, better to say the riot you and your 'posse' caused." He did, in fact, make finger quotes in the air.

"Come off it Gramps, I don't have a 'posse'." Finger quotes again.

"A gang, then. It's not important. What is important is that I agree with you, after a fashion. The question is, what will you do about it?"

"Kill the queen?"

"Did that work last time?"

"That was a Ghoul; I was nowhere near that lever."

A searing glare from the clan head silenced the younger. "Listen to me, boy; you know and I know what those poor damned souls are going to need."

"Food and booze."

Stone Leg nodded. "That's right, boy, and guess who is going to give it to them."

"Me." The younger stated flatly.

"Not just you, boy; you and your gang. Now get to gathering them up, and anything you might need to take with you."

Edited for grammar

[DwarfyDwarf]

I CALL MINER/MASON/MECHANIC. I want my profession to be Diggy McStonefixer.Please.

[TALLPANZER]

OOC: DwarfyDwarf, you have been given the first wild card. You have two in the following: miner, mason, mechanic, and building designer; and one in the following: furnace operator and wood burner. Tell me if you would like some changes.

BlackHat the younger first went to the growers' guild to find "Shorty," the gloomer, and Demetry, a moss dwarf that some called a "Witch's apprentice". To BlackHat, he was a tough that knew how to gather herbs, and they would need that. "Shorty" was an O.K. brewer and miller, as well as a grumpy grower. "O.K. you two, we are going to be 'moving' soon, so get your sh!t together." They double-timed it out of the guild hall without a word back.

The next stop on his list was the hunters hall. He saw Celem'n Tym, who was an obsidian dwarf, and Bayer, the jade dwarf, arguing. Celem'n usually barked about how real military training was the only way to go, and then Bayer threw back comments about his personal target range. The argument ended in the usual way. "SHUT THE BULL-WEEVIL UP!" bellowed BlackHat as he stormed toward them. "PACKS! BOLTS! ARMOR! WAGON HOUSE, NOW!". They grabbed their kit and made a bee-line to the previously mentioned spot. "Just two more," thought the Younger as he sauntered out of the hall.

[Di]

Yay, moss dwarf! I don't need soap!  Or is it goloomers that can live unwashed? 

[Shidoni]

I'll call the other farmer, I suppose. This should be interesting.

[Deon]

I've updated it to 3.18d so now both genders work correctly for ice/obsidian castes. I also fixed the "everyone is a wrestler in adventure mode" which came from too high natural skills (and it shouldn't affect the fortress mode but well, still nice to have it fixed.

We live above ground (mostly)

With the latest update you should get a lot of attention from werewolves (they should come as long as you have 20 dwarves), and  other races attack and siege earlier, so be careful there.

[DwarfyDwarf]

I guess i'll take miner/mason/NEITHEROFTHESEAREAWESOMEBUTILIKEBERNINGSOWOODBERNER. I like burning.