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[Ullallulloo]

...you've ever tried to hook a lever in one room to a bridge across town using two separate mechanisms.
...you hunt vermin when you run out of food.
...you don't build roofs to block the rain, but to keep out giant, flying titans.
...you've tried growing a garden underground with some muddy dirt and no light.
...you've tried comforting people with mist before.
...you know that unicorns are blood-thirsty, untamable monsters.
...you hide training spears in small rooms and trap your friends in there to toughen them up to kill goblins.
...you put children in the military, mines, or farms, let them marry and breed freely with anyone else of any age, and bear their own full financial responsibility at age 13.
...you hate parties.
...you like cows for their haunting moos.
...you assign yourself and epithet after getting 5 notable kills.
 ...you have at least one notable kill.
...you don't eat mangoes or any fruit off of trees, but instead cut down the tree to make ash from it.
...you prevent anybody but doctors from using soap so they won't try to clean a body part that got cut off.
...you desalinate water by building a well above it or pumping it into an artificial room.
...you believe that a groundhog is an exotic animal.
  ...you have a large collection of "exotic" animals waiting for the darn dungeon master.
...you have fun by having everybody you know die.
...you build walls around unhappy people who just can't be cheered up by your dining room.
...you don't care if someone kills someone else as long as they carve something really nice out of their bones!
...you know never to pick up the shiny weapon in the middle of the room!
...you think the Colossus of Rhodes was destroyed by a fluffy wambler.
  ...you think it dropped a statue that was then sold to the elves.

[Khift]

...you think about litterboxes in terms of miasma.

[Jake]

... you compare every other game you play, usually unfavourably, to DF.

... your neighbour tells you he enjoys carp fishing and you think, "Holy shit this guy is badass!"

... you create a D&D character based on Captain Ironblood and/or called Urist.

... you sincerely believe that SomethingAwful has at least one redeeming feature.

... your works of fantasy fiction involve dwarven underground cities and mines, and their design actually makes sense.

... you've ever travelled on the London Underground and thought, "I could do better than this." (And you may be right, but I digress.)

... your favourite Discworld novel is Thud!.

[PTTG??]

... your favourite Discworld novel is Thud!.

...Not that that means anything, it IS the best...

[Jake]

...Not that that means anything, it IS the best...

There's a worthwhile debate to be had about that, but not in this thread.
But perhaps I should add, "and not just because we finally get to see Vimes flip the fuck out"?

[Maw]

YMBADFPI You pour magma on your broken computer to fix it.

I'm confused.  Why is a serious comment like this even in such a joke thread......?

[Thegreywarden]

YMBADFP if you actually *miss* dreaming in ASCII because you haven't played in a while.

... If you keep trying to base a D&D one-shot on a failed fortress of yours.

... If you see a "THE FLOOR IS NOW LAVA" sign and wish you had =(fire imp leather socks)=.

... If you try to figure out other people's pathing algorithms.

... If you find a mushroom and actively encourage its growth, secretly hoping...

... If you ever think you've come up with a clever solution to a real-life problem and excitedly told it to others, only to realize from their expressions that you have yet again been using dwarven logic or physics.

BTW This is my first post here at Bay12, although I have been a lurker for some time, and a player since early 40d.
I hope you will treat me well.

[Hertzyscowicz]

YMBADFPI your view on what constitutes a single person programming project is considerably larger than common wisdom.

[EmperorNuthulu]

...  If you have a neckbeard.

What? Someone had to say it!

[Terrahex]

this is basically the same as 1000 sgins you play dwarf fortress (way) too much

... you may be a dwarf fortress player if you think silk is menacing in spikes.

[mr. macduggan]

...If every piece of your clothing is coated with +Human Blood Spatter+


EDIT: totally done this. ...Your parents start referring to unpleasant things as being "dwarven fun"