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[Thief^]

I understand a little of quantum mechanics; I think it's fair to say that that shows that I'm smarter than the average, but it has no bearing on my grammar skillz

Then pray explain, in your own words, the Heisenberg uncertainty principle.

It's quite simple. Photons are fuzzy, with the higher-energy ones having a more-defined edge. Use a low-energy photon and you can't measure a position accurately because it's fuzzy, but you can see the energy before and after so you can infer the momentum of the particle to a high degree of accuracy (being low energy, the photon won't have altered the momentum of the particle much). Use a high-energy photon, and you can get an incredibly accurate position read, but it will alter the momentum of the particle massively (so you have no real idea what it is).

However, actually hitting the particle with a photon requires knowing it's position and momentum to a really high accuracy already, so...

[veok]

Heisenburg is speeding down a highway when he gets pulled over by a cop car.

The officer walks up the Heisenburg's car, flips out a notebook, and says, "Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were going just now?"

Heisenburg is baffled by the question. "I'm afraid I do not." He eventually responds. "Though I know exactly where I am!"


*rimshot*

[Niveras]

Bah. Being snarky works better when I'm not replying to something four days old.