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[Nirur Torir]

Event {1} - There are no zombies. Zombies cannot possibly exist. Please stay tuned for *static*

Dragnar {6} - Be healed by the power of heart
Annoyed at the soldier shooting him, Dragnar ducks behind a pile of scrap, and runs around the soldier to his fallen companion. {5, luck} He rips the corpse's heart out and rapidly consumes it, fully healing himself. Part of the man's ribcage is destroyed, but the rest may serve as part of a form of "heart container." The remaining soldier {2} panics and runs off.
Zombies? {1} - Dragnar sees five zombies approach. His sentry gun {5} gets a lucky headshot and kills one.
Life: 4/4
Inventory gain: Half a heart container
Enemies: four zombies

Tarran {5} - Polymorph into a Master Mind Flayer
Victory is Tarran's!
Zombies? {2} - Five zombies appear, in the sewers. They ignore Tarran.
Status: Polymorphed into a Master Mind Flayer
Gain status: Spell resistance +1, hostile, anti-zombie stealth.
Lose status: Immobile
Gain skills: Telepathy, flight, brain eating, psychic blast.

Flintus10 {3} - Run and find a bar or pub.
Aaron runs away, and eventually finds himself at a bar. Out of breath, he enters the bar that is empty save for the bartender.
Zombies? {3} - Two zombies bash down the door. The bartender reaches under the counter with alarm.
Location: Inside the Clever Ruse Bar.
+1 Navigation XP
Enemies: Two zombies
Allies: Barkeeper, person with a sword

MrNuke {5-1} - Teleport to Flintus10
McSausage focuses on his inner wizard, and teleports to some random guy he's never met. They are in a bar.
Zombies? {3} - Two zombies bash down the door. The bartender reaches under the counter with alarm.
Location: Inside the Clever Ruse Bar.
+1 Teleportation XP
Enemies: Two zombies
Allies: Barkeeper, some random guy

Frelock {4-2} - Escape via fence hopping
Bob runs out the back door in a drunken stupor. He manages to clamber over the fence, but then falls and knocks himself out. When he awakens, he finds himself suffering from a hangover, but the police didn't notice him.
Zombies? {4} - Zombies appear to not have eaten his brain while he slept. Excellent.
-1 HP
Location: Suburban back yard
Lose status: Drunk
Gain status: Hangover: -1 to next action

HmH {5} - Recruit the portable hole
Nathan monologues to the portable hole for over half an hour. Finally, it circles him once, flickers slightly, then seems to start following him.
Zombies? {5} - No, but some gunshots can be heard in the distance.
+2 Ventriloquism
Gain minion: Portable hole

Mindmaker {6} Pass it off with a cliche, then enter a mall.
Vincent manages to deflect suspicion, then enters the mall, the perfect place to be in case of a zombie apocalypse.
Zombies? {5} - Strangely, no.
Location: Inside a mall

Dwarf Midget {1} Hide guns in a backpack, then abscond
While Dave is searching for a backpack, five people dressed in full SWAT combat gear arrive. They look unhappy.
Zombies? {2} - Five zombies appear, startling the SWAT agents. (Why, Random.org? Why do you keep giving out five enemies?)
Enemies: Five SWAT agents
Enemies 2: Five zombies

EddyP {3} Summon Aqua Buddha
The man is now powerless, and therefore unable to grant any such request. Nothing happens when EddyP attempts his second summoning ritual.
Zombies? {5} - No.
Skill: +1 summoning

[Flintus10]

Ask the bartender to throw me any other weapons he has under there and kick some zombie ass.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name:Aaron
Gender: Male
Life: 3/4
Skills:
Novice whistler (0/8)
No skill comedian (2/4)
No skill Navigator (1/4)
Inventory:
Lucky coin
Allies: Barkeeper, person with a sword

[dragnar]

Take the fallen zombie's heart container!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Dragnar
Gender: Male
Life: 4/4
Status: bullet lodged next to heart
Skills:
   Novice engineer (2/8)
Inventory:
   Ark Reactor of Living 100% charge
   Sentry bot
   Half a heart container
Location:
   Location: Montgomery & Sons Scrapyard
Enemies:
   four zombies

[Tarran]

Hehehehe.

Wait, shouldn't Telepathy, flight, brain eating, psychic blast all be abilities, not skills? And if they really are skills, why didn't you list the skill level?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Tarran
Gender: Male
Life: 2/4
Skills:
   Novice Marksman (0/8)
   Novice Floor Looter (2/8)
   No skill Pursuit (2/4)
Abilities:
   Telepathy.
   Flight.
   Brain eating.
   Psychic blast.
Inventory:
   Dirty napkin.
   +2 frag grenades
   +1 flashbang grenade
   +1 incendiary grenade
   Ring of Polymorph
   Ring of Polymorph Control
Status:
   Polymorphed into a Master Mind Flayer.
   Spell resistance +1.
   Hostile.
   Anti-zombie stealth.
Location: Sewers.

Teleport to Mindmaker.

Get out of the sewers and find Mindmaker.

Ask the bartender to throw me any other weapons he has under there and kick some zombie ass.

You forgot your status.

[Nirur Torir]

Hehehehe.

Wait, shouldn't Telepathy, flight, brain eating, psychic blast all be abilities, not skills? And if they really are skills, why didn't you list the skill level?

Oops, yes, abilities.

Do note, people who keep teleporting without any skill in it: If you roll a {1}, you'll get a 0, and be instakilled by teleporting into a solid object.

[Tarran]

Do note, people who keep teleporting without any skill in it: If you roll a {1}, you'll get a 0, and be instakilled by teleporting into a solid object.

Meh, 'guess I'll be finding Mindmaker the mundane way then.

[HmH]

Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Nathan
Gender: Male
Life: 4/4
Location: At the epicenter.
Skills:
 Novice Ventriloquist (4/8)
 No skill Teleportation Magic (1/4)
Inventory:
 Nothing
Minions:
 Portable Hole

Ask the soldiers if there is, to put it in layman's terms, a levitating red rod that looks like a compass, except it doesn't point north. If there is, let them guide me there. And ask for a spare compass.

[MrNuke]

Run up to the zombies with the ninjato and decapitate them!\

Spoiler: Teh Character (click to show/hide)

Name: McSausage
Gender: Male
Life: 4/4
Skills: Novice Office Worker 0/8
         No Skill Looter 2/4
         No Skill Teleportation 1/4
Inventory: Ninjato
Status: None
Location: Inside the Clever Ruse bar

[EddyP]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Teddles
Gender:Male
Life: 4/4
      Skills: Novice diplomat (6/8)
         +1 diplo at 123, Fake Street
               No-skill explorer (1/4)
               No-skill summoner (1/4)   
Inventory: AK47(27/30), spare mag (30/30)
               Mysterious book
Locale: An old house

Explore the rest of the old house

[Frelock]

Realize the foolishness of my former drunken ways, and become a monk (the cool, martial-arts kind, not the lame real-life pacifist kind)

Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)

Name:Bob
Gender: Male
Life: 4/4
Skills:
   Novice Brawler (1/8)
   Novice Intimidation (0/4)
Inventory:
   Nothing.
Location:
   Frat Party
Effects:
   Hungover (-1 to next action)

[Frajic]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Dave
Gender: Male
Life: 4/4
Skills:
   Novice talker (3/8)
   No skill pursuiter (2/4)
   No skill first aider (1/4)
Inventory:
  Combat shotgun [8/8] shells - May fire up to 3 rounds per turn, at -1 cumulative accuracy penalty after each round (First round at full accuracy, -1 to second, -2 to third)
 24 shells - +2 accuracy at short range, +2 damage vs unarmored
 16 slugs - Negates up to 2 armor
 8 beanbags - Nonlethal. Limit one round fired per turn.
RPG-7 [1/1] - +3 accuracy to main target, possible damage to all in location, +1 damage vs non-heavy armor + 2 spare rockets
Location: Gun Store

While the agents are distracted, bash one of them in the head and drag them into a nearby closet/behind a counter/whatever. Quickly switch clothes.

[Mindmaker]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name:Vincent
Gender: Male
Life: 3/4
Skills:
   Novice intellectual (0/8)
   No skill anatomy (2/4)
   No skill morbid crafting(1/4)
Location: Inside a mall.
Inventory:
   Intestinal Phylactery [Contains Cindy's Soul] - equipped

Search the shop for anything unusual.