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[Untelligent]

And I'm just recovering from a goblin ambush (forgot to install the hatch covers after I renovated my fortress entrance a couple years ago. How very silly of me!), so I only have four soldiers left.


I will now describe what is about to happen in detail. Maybe it wants to be friends!


As I assemble what's left of Magma Command, the snail heads to the magma pipe, flies over the wall I'm in the process of building (back in first winter or second spring an abominable vulture-thing flew into the pipe and ate my legendary weaponsmith who had just made an artifact hammer a couple months ago -- a good omen, as the EXACT SAME GODDAMN THING happened around the start of my 40d superfort except that time the weaponsmith was eaten by Puff the Magic Dragon instead of the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade Turkey Balloon gone rabid -- where was I? Oh yeah, the wall. I'm building it so Forgotten Beasts can't fly into my magma pipe and eat my weaponsmiths)

anyway so I'm mustering Magma Command when oh god no bad Rambo don't attack him yet wait for the guy with the artifact sledgehammer to show up don't... Okay, so the snail runs away and the axewarf I just nicknamed Rambo is covered in poison slime. Hopefully it just gives him some nasty blisters for a while. Now she's... she? Too late, can't change her nickname now. Rambo's nauseous. Ginormo Gary's laughs at them from the other side of the magma pipe. Rambo and her trusty sidekick run around and exchange blows for a bit, now both of them have minor wounds on their entire body but none of them are important enough to be described in detail anywhere.

Now Ginormo Gary runs and/or flies past the two axedwarves to the exit of the forge room, beyond which lies a smorgasbord of bearded snail chow. Except the cavalry has finally arrived! Lieutenant Sledge is little more than a recruit in purple clothes, but the artifact Copper Sledgehammer of +7 Snail-Smashing she wields makes up for tha- wait, no, Ginormo Gary flew over everyone and out of the forge pit. After him!


Ginormo Gary spies a defenseless engraver! Fortunately, the fourth and final member of Magma Command -- wait, no, this is Magma Commander Dishmab himself, he's just late to the party -- is arriving on the scene and in the perfect position to- no, scratch that, he's on his way to pick up a right gauntlet. Also Rambo just bled to death. Her trusty sidekick is still fine, so it must have been from being bodyslammed by the snail into the magma pipe.

Dishmab whatshisface cancels pickup equipment: Interrupted by Forgotten Beast

Magma Commander Dishmab is not having a good day and takes out her anger on Ginormo Gary. Snail dies a few seconds later from a fatal light bruise to the brain. About bloody time something went right. And with only one casualty, too! Although Magma Command Minus One is projectile vomiting all over the cavern floor and one of my architects is miserable because one of the forges the snail smashed was a legendary architecture thing.

Eh, they'll get over it.

[Untelligent]

This may be a great time to mention that the engraver that was saved from becoming snail chow just died of severe brain-punch disease thanks to an architect who seems to be rather angry at a great many things for reasons I can't fathom.

[USEC_OFFICER]

This may be a great time to mention that the engraver that was saved from becoming snail chow just died of severe brain-punch disease thanks to an architect who seems to be rather angry at a great many things for reasons I can't fathom.

I feel a need to sig this.

[Untelligent]

Lietenant Sledge also caught severe brain-bunch disease. Her ghost now haunts the crafting room, where a moody dwarf alternates between yelling at the dwarves downstairs to find some shells for him (the river topside will be frozen for a few months and the cavern lakes are empty) and yelling at the ghost to piss off.

EDIT: Justice has been served. A migrant wave came and I drafted one of them as my sheriff. He immediately ran down to the rogue architect and punched her face in.