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[Aspgren]

Watching my dwarves get injured without any risk for their lives.

Like, say, fighting some crundles and then having their ankles covered in tiny scars.

[nordak]

I checked for him, he doesn't even show up... He didn't earn a name or have any kills.  Just thought he should have after such an amazing performance.

[nordak]

A Vile Force of Evil has arrived...

Urist McMayer: Quick Urist, Open the gates, no reason to be rude
Urist Mcwoodcutter:  Ummm... the lever isn't in my burrow
Urist Mcmason:  I can't get to it.
Urist Mchammer: Ok

*splattering noises and the whir of machinery decapitating flesh*
*screams of the dying goblin horde*

[NewSheoth]

An average day is going by at the fort, nothing out of the ordinary. Dwarf Traders were there, and I had purchased everything of value from them via serrated iron discs. My mayor was taking time to talk with the liason in between his daily tasks, when suddenly...

An ambush! Curse them!

I, of course, was not prepared to fight an ambush of any size, and my dwarves were scattered all over the map, sitting ducks for the vile goblins. I quickly ordered them all into the fortress using a burrow, and we huddled inside, as the Trader's guards fought the goblins as best they could, and here's what changed the entire situation from dramatic to hilarious:

The liason was still trying to settle export agreements!

He either had no clue what was going on or he took his job far more seriously then my dwarves take theirs. So I clicked "a" as many times as it took for him to shut up and he bode farewell and then just walked out past the chaotic battle.

I haven't seen him since, but I can only assume he's out there somewhere, comparing notes on inventory with a bookkeeper who's legs are being chewed off by a Forgotten Beast.

I believe your liaison is the G-Man.

Also, what brightens my DF day is just watching the fortress live. Watching idle dwarves socialize near the well, watching fisherdwarves dash between the entrance and the nearest body of water, watching crafters craft and farmers farm, watching masons work on that huge wall around the fortress... just watching my dwarves live their lives. It's refreshing, somehow.

[nordak]

Cowardly goblins that are left are hiding in the furthest corner of the map...  Don't have the numbers to drive them off, they still outnumber my military 2-1... my mayer is now tantrumming from the loss of this many war-pets. They atleast have no fear, the war leopards managed to kill 10 goblins before their limbs were removed by silver scimitars.  Surprisingly no goblin lashers this seige and no Indiana Jones style escapes.

Apparently the goblins are scared of war elephants (who wouldn't be?)... they are running from them but won't leave the map.  The leader has fled the map and the 40 remaining goblins are lost in a bugged seige camp.

[AngleWyrm]

*splattering noises and the whir of machinery decapitating flesh*

It's like something from the Saw movies.

[breadbocks]

An average day is going by at the fort, nothing out of the ordinary. Dwarf Traders were there, and I had purchased everything of value from them via serrated iron discs. My mayor was taking time to talk with the liason in between his daily tasks, when suddenly...

An ambush! Curse them!

I, of course, was not prepared to fight an ambush of any size, and my dwarves were scattered all over the map, sitting ducks for the vile goblins. I quickly ordered them all into the fortress using a burrow, and we huddled inside, as the Trader's guards fought the goblins as best they could, and here's what changed the entire situation from dramatic to hilarious:

The liason was still trying to settle export agreements!

He either had no clue what was going on or he took his job far more seriously then my dwarves take theirs. So I clicked "a" as many times as it took for him to shut up and he bode farewell and then just walked out past the chaotic battle.

I haven't seen him since, but I can only assume he's out there somewhere, comparing notes on inventory with a bookkeeper who's legs are being chewed off by a Forgotten Beast.

You liaison just walks into Mordor.

[thegoatgod_pan]

When today, a fortress centered on a large cavern-based statue garden and dining room, was overrun by a salamander made of filth emitting a lung-rotting gas.

 The civilian survivors locked themselves away with floors and a forbidden artifact door even the creature could not breach.

However just when I am almost done with resolving the tantrum spiral, a single dwarf "withdraws from society", runs through the forbidden door, which gets jammed open by a bucket--(other dwarf looking for water pathed to the cavern well, and freaked out on seeing the filth monster, dropping said bucket)--"withdrawn artiste" comes back from the junk pile with a shell and makes an elaborate statuette, comes out of his aesthetic trance ecstatic to a hall full of blood and forgotten beast extract.

[Samuel]

When today, a fortress centered on a large cavern-based statue garden and dining room, was overrun by a salamander made of filth emitting a lung-rotting gas.

 The civilian survivors locked themselves away with floors and a forbidden artifact door even the creature could not breach.

However just when I am almost done with resolving the tantrum spiral, a single dwarf "withdraws from society", runs through the forbidden door, which gets jammed open by a bucket--(other dwarf looking for water pathed to the cavern well, and freaked out on seeing the filth monster, dropping said bucket)--"withdrawn artiste" comes back from the junk pile with a shell and makes an elaborate statuette, comes out of his aesthetic trance ecstatic to a hall full of blood and forgotten beast extract.

"Hey guys! check out what I... just... made... guys? Oh come on, guys, I don't care if you're not interested in my shell statue, you don't have to play dead to get out of looking at it! ...guys?"