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[Shelegelah]

So, I have this fort. I like this fort. It's eight years old, it's got 200 hundred dwarves, I regularly pick on the elves, I have a tower GROWING FROM A RIVER, it's doing GREAT. I'm only having three problems, and I was hoping you could help me out, fellas.

Problem One: I am bored. I have no hostile civilizations nearby, and all of my attempts to pick on the elves until they ambush me are fruitless. The bastards seriously just soak up the punishment. I've killed their diplomats, I've seized their goods at least three times, I've trapped them in rooms, etc. etc. They just wont get mad at me. The only explanation I can imagine is that I was very generous with their profit margin for the first few years when I would over-pay them for wood. Maybe they're still happy about that?

Problem Two: Forgotten Beasts are dying really quickly. I don't know if this is just because of my prodigiously sized and skilled military (15 dwarves, all in adamantine and wielding various adamantine or steel weapons). They literally die so quickly that they don't even scratch a dwarf. The only time I've lost a military dwarf to a Forgotten Beast was when it released a cloud of deadly dust that inflicted full-body paralysis on my elite squad of dwarven veterans. (Killing my one-armed, tough-as-nails, 56-kill militia commander as well. Dammit.)

Problem Three: I just killed yet another Forgotten Beast. It had poisonous blood, of which I have heard terrifying rumors, due both to its uncleanable nature and deadly qualities. Yet, none of my dwarves who walked over the beast's blood or assisted in slaying it are showing any symptoms. Is there a delay, or did I just luck out? Or even more awesome, are my dwarves just superdwarven on the whole?

Any help would be appreciated.

[Urist Imiknorris]

First: Do you have goblins? Keep getting richer and they'll start sending bigger armies. The elves are indeed happy about your overpaying for wood.

Second: It's your military and some luck.

Third: There may be a latency period, I'm not sure. I never am with random beasts. There probably is.

Overall: Breach HFS.

EDIT: "No hostile civilizations"

[Gnauga]

Don't forget to try to sell them your own wood.

HFS is, of course, the most viable option for more Fun.

[Shelegelah]

Oh trust me, I've debated breaching it. But I really want to come back later as an adventurer to explore the caverns and not get instantly raped by tentacle demons and whatnot, so I'm holding off on breaching it.

So basically the way the diplomatic relations are working right now, I could go ahead and grab every single thing they bring, try to sell them wood, and kill their diplomats and they're still just going to be peachy with it because I handed them a bunch of masterwork dolomite crowns back in the day?

Stupid Elves.

Also, no goblins. Did this intentionally in my embark because I was shaky on the new more complicated military system and wanted a relatively stress-free environment to learn it's ins-and-outs. Only thing I've had to deal with was a few hydras and more forgotten beasts than I can shake a stick at. (Note that I am indeed using vanilla Dwarf Fortress. I do not know how and have no intention of learning how to mod it out. I like it the way the Toad has granted it to us.)

UPDATE: My Dwarves are now butchering the Forgotten Beast with the poisonous blood. It's a giant, scaly snail with bat wings. If my fort dies to food poisoning due to bad escargot, I will chalk this up as the most awesome death ever.

[ZhangC1459]

Make sure you sell them wood first.  Then once they're unwilling to trade, seize their goods... I think you can do that... right?  Someone correct me?

[Urist Imiknorris]

I believe so.

[GaxkangtheUnbound]

UPDATE: My Dwarves are now butchering the Forgotten Beast with the poisonous blood. It's a giant, scaly snail with bat wings. If my fort dies to food poisoning due to bad escargot, I will chalk this up as the most awesome death ever.

Sell deadly soap to the elves.
Be sure to send them a note detailing:
Feel the poison on your skin!
No one else will feel it for you!(If they did, they'd be dead)
No one else can let it in!
No one else! No one else!

[ThrowerOfStones]

I've heard the only way to piss elves off is to cut too many trees and sell them wood. They don't care about stealing their stuff.

[jei]

just cut off 100+ trees or whatever the agreed limit.

[Gnauga]

Destroy every tree on your map mercilessly. If it turns into logs, it gets chopped down.

[Urist Imiknorris]

sell them wood

Soap is a wood product.