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[Iapetus]

In the old days, my first couple of artifacts would normally be pretty poor (a maple idol, with an image of a maple idol on it in maple), but after that I'd start to get better stuff.


I'm playing my first 0.31.12 fortress, and the exact opposite is happening.

My first artifact:
Lim Akir, The Wisps of Rewarding, a native gold statue of Utdar Beersbeak
Basic value 133200¤
This is a native gold statue of Utdar Beersbeak.  All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.
The item is a masterfully designed image of Udtar Beersbeak the human and Athel Shieldtactic the dwarf in native gold by 'Statue' Lorbammistem.  Athel Shieldtactic is striking down Utdar Beersbeak.  The artwork relates to the killing of the human Udtar Beersbeak by the dwarf Athel Shieldtactic in Taughtroads in the Spine of Hames in 201 during Utu Gan, "The Onslaught of Clubs".
It is decorated with giant olm leather and encircled with bands of native gold.
On the item is an image of Sarvesh Tinwires the dwarf in giant cave swallow leather.

Artifact 2:
Leromusil, Pantedcopper, a gold anvil
Basic Value: 73200¤
This is a gold anvil.  All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.  It is studded with gold.
On the item is an image of Dakas, the deity of jewels, depicted as a male dwarf in groundhog leather.  Dakas is striking a triumphant pose.

Artifact 3:
Omshit Insél, The Suffering of Gangs, a cow leather boot
Basic value: 27480¤
This is a cow leather boot.  All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.  It is encircled with cow leather, morganite and cat bone.

Artifact 4:
Umshadrithlut, The Ponderous Wax, a cow bone cap
Basic value: 600¤
This is a cow bone cap.  All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.

What?! 

Worst.  Artifact.  Ever.

Is this a 0.31.12 thing, or have I just been incredibly unlucky?

And has anyone else had such a shit artifact?


(To make matters worse, this last artifact was produced at the same time that the miner who had made my awesome first artifact got killed in a cave-in, when he undermined a single soil tile and got knocked through the floor.)

[Shinziril]

Bone artifacts currently disintegrate all decorations attached to them, which is why that cap is simply a cow bone cap with no decorations.  This is a known bug.

[jei]

I dunno what you're complaining. Useless artifacts are just useless. I'm suspecting and artifact of mine to be responsible for serious amounts of bad luck. Frequently occurring ambushes and sieges.. All it's owners die pretty soon violently after getting the said artifact. It is now getting so bad with the seasonally occurring sieges of rather skilled goblin crossbowmen that I doubt my fort will survive much longer.
I would take useless artifacts over bad luck items any day.

Doesn't matter what the "cowbone cap" is made of, afaik? It's artifact and likely will make it's bearer nigh immortal in battle who wears it as their armor. I had a similar turtle shell helm. It's bearer was a champion in no time. At least back in the good old 40d times.

[candylord]

Dude
I got a legendary bow
Fuck you and your cap

[Vercingetorix]

One of my most recent artifacts was a morganite armor stand worth 108,000, the highest to date...I haven't noticed any difference in the quality of my artifacts going on 10 years now.  It's possible they'll get even better now that we've got adamantine lying around.  I think in your case it may be a byproduct of a maturing fort; more dwarves mean more dwarves with crappy preferences and more junk lying around, which probably increases the chance that what they grab might be less valuable than in prior moods.

[Zaik]

I just got the one in my signature an hour ago, pretty useless, humorously it was made pretty close to a big pool of magma, i was expecting it and the dwarf carrying it to go up in flames in seconds.

[Internet Kraken]

Same thing happened in my most recent fort. One my first artifacts was a lapiz lazui table. It may not have been to valuable, but the fact that it was a table meant that it serves a practical application. Then I got a platinum bed called "The Pit of Love".  For some reason it had a really high value, despite having only two decorations. My Engraver continues to constantly produce images of it. It was only surpassed by some dumb bronze flask, which is disappointing since it's a damn flask.

Ever since the pit of love my artifacts have descended into mediocrity. Most of them are useless thing likes mugs and cups. They aren't particularly valuable either. Still I can't complain to much, since those first few artifacts are better tahn anything I've ever gotten. They're probably the only reason my fort hasn't collapsed due to tantrums.

[jei]

Same thing happened in my most recent fort. One my first artifacts was a lapiz lazui table. It may not have been to valuable, but the fact that it was a table meant that it serves a practical application. Then I got a platinum bed called "The Pit of Love".  For some reason it had a really high value, despite having only two decorations. My Engraver continues to constantly produce images of it. It was only surpassed by some dumb bronze flask, which is disappointing since it's a damn flask.

Ever since the pit of love my artifacts have descended into mediocrity. Most of them are useless thing likes mugs and cups. They aren't particularly valuable either. Still I can't complain to much, since those first few artifacts are better tahn anything I've ever gotten. They're probably the only reason my fort hasn't collapsed due to tantrums.

Mehh, I just got 2 artefacts made of adamantium (toy axe and weapon rack), worth in the 700,000+ and both followed quickly by a siege, due to fortress value increasing a lot. At laest the rack can be used to make king happy.. also i suspect my lowest valued artefact bow to be cursed due to continuing ambushes and subsequent deaths of it's bearer.

[Funtimes]

It was only surpassed by some dumb bronze flask, which is disappointing since it's a damn flask.

It's not a damn flask, it's a magical flask that contains an endless supply of dwarven whisky, and whichever dwarf is smart to pick it up will soon die of happiness and liver disease.