Your mind explodes with a dozens of different ideas.
make an end to it!
clean your wounds!
release the animals!
Eat and kill them!
The hedache horribly intensifies and you cry out in pain. Every try to concentrate fails and you vomit again. You grab your axe and use it as a cane to stand up. You stand there for a while till you think you can stand alone.
Ok calm down...search something to concentrate.
slowly you begin to recite the engraved runes you yourself have put there.
ek veit einn,at aldri deyr: dómr of dauðan hvern.
It is an old verse of the Hávamál, a codex for those with belief in the old gods. Honestly you have always been atheist but you were always fascinated by the old nordic belief. You never thought that you would ever follow the rituals and statues of it. At least before the Outbreak. After that and mainly in the time you were alone, you began to follow it's rules and even began praying and sacrificing. Not because you believed in it, but to bring order back to your life. Time had become meaningless, your friends and family were gone, your well ordered every day life had gone and everything sank into chaos. The prayers and rituals kept your mind clear and helped in the many lonely hours and days. Also it was a bit of a measurement of time to not loose yourself in the chaos and destruction.
ek veit einn,at aldri deyr: dómr of dauðan hvern.
i know one thing which never dies: the reputation of each dead man.
you repeat it over and over and finally, your mind beins to clear.
OK clean that wound and bandage it
You go to the bathroom of the bunker, and open the tap. You begin to wash your hands and the wound, cleaning the dirt and the spittle of the infected out of it, it hurts horribly but you have to do it. After that you grab some bandages and walk depper into the bunker. You stop in front of a massive open steel door. Your storage room. As you enter it, you cant surpress a grin. Although the food was gone or spoiled, alcohol was always fresh. And ove the last year you have found much alcohol. You randomly grab an old bottle of whisky ,you got from the basement of some old mansion, and walk back into the bathroom. You casually read the label while opening the bottle:
Dalmore 1943.
Meh. You grit your teeth and poor the bottle over the wound. The Pain is nearly unbearable, but you are sure that the wound is clean now. After bandaging your arm you feel cleaner but not really better. You decide that its now really time for something to eat. The old Canteen of the bunker had everything you could possibl ever need to cook. The refrigirator is even working. You rummage through your supplies and end up with two eggs, an already hardened half loaf of bread and something your saved for a special occasion: an apple.
Your hunger gets ravenous and you dont even bother with cooking the eggs. you break them open and swallow them raw. Although it tastes horrible you dont even stop, you continue to rip the loaf apart and gnaw on the hard bread. Suddenly you stop.
What the hell am i doing?
You begin to mumble your mantra again and again to stop the urge of swallowing the apple in one bite.
i know one thing which never dies: the reputation of each dead man.
i know one thing which never dies: the reputation of each dead man.
i know one thing which never dies: the reputation of each dead man.
You manage to bring the urge under control and rummage through the kitchen drawers to find a knife. As slowly as possible, to prevent the shaking of your hand, you begin to slice the apple into bite-sized pieces. You take the time and grab a dish, put the apple pieces on it and go outside. You sit on your favourite place. a wooden tabl you hav emade yourself and an old tree trunk you use as a chair. While the sun is shining down on you, you take the time and slowly savor every piece of it. Although the urge to only gulp it down and continue with some of your animals is pusling through your mind you surpress it with the sweet taste of the pieces, the juice running down your throat and the fresh air of the wood. Susprisingly your beaviour makes you feel far better.Having eate you lean back and stare into the blue sky. It seems so blue and so clear although you are going to...
You shake your head and stand up. You know you cant stay inside here. You think of releasing the animals but at a second thought you realize that they will either starve or be eaten by the infected.
Well inside here they will surely starve...
you open the shack, the paddock and walk out of the main gate.standing outside your unsure on what to do...
____________________
gained and lost a hour through eating
gained mantra!( will keep your head clear and helps concentrating to a certain point)
bandaged wound on left arm
2 hours remaining